to ask - who is/was the love of your life?

[Manderley75]

As above.

The DP I just split up from

We were together 5 years and he made me feel so very happy and loved, told me how beautiful I am, was generous, thoughtful and was amazing in bed.

Sadly he also had a nasty temper which raised its head in an intimidating way too often, was very entitled and narcissistic. He was very lazy and messy and had a weird family situation (no, not married!) which meant we would never end up living together.

I utterly worshipped him and would do anything for him, but he also infuriated me and I know I would have ended up despising him if we’d stayed together, me giving and giving while I silently seethed to avoid making him cross.

I feel bereft at losing him but also a little bit calmer without all the drama he brought.

This has made me realise I don't think I've ever actually felt that all consuming love you have all experienced.
I've been with dp for 25 years and I'm not sure I love him. Which I guess means I probably don't as I'm not sure. I'm not 'in love' with him
We got together young and I got swept along with the whole buying a house and having kids thing. But I never felt like he meant the world to me. I like him and we're similar quiet people but if I'm honest that's it.
He loves me much more than I will ever love him. I know that I'm his world but I just don't feel that for him.
I'm often happier on my own: I'm an introvert. I don't feel my happiest when I'm with him. I can have a much better day out with dd than I do with him.
He doesn't bring out the best in me.
Writing this has been a bit of an eye opener.

My fiance is. It took meeting him to realise I've never been in love before. Him and my kids are my whole world. Sometimes I tell him I love him, but it feels like I can't put into words just how much.

My DH. Simply the nicest kindest guy I’ve ever met. I didn’t meet him until I was 36 and got married at 41 (first marriage). I, like others have said worry about him going first, as I can’t imagine life without him. Yes, he infuriates me sometimes, as I’m sure I do to him. But he’s my soulmate, I can talk to him about anything without fear of being judged. He makes me laugh, good in bed (!), loyal, honest. An all round lovely guy. It certainly wasn’t love at first sight when we met, but slowly he grew on me.

My DH.

I feel happy when I'm with him, feel safe, feel content that life will always be ok while we're together. He makes me laugh. He treats me like a lady but also respects my independence and knows that I'm capable and competent. He is an adoring and hands-on father. He makes me feel desired.

But I realise that I don't tell him this.

I'm switching off now to go find him to say all these things I've just written. He'll smile, hug me, say "I love you" and then ask if Something on MN prompted me to say this (he knows me very well).

I've been in love twice. The first time, I was 28 and having never been in love, I fell hard for a bloke that went on to mentally abuse me to the point of breakdown. I was literally besotted and would have done anything for him.

Now I am with my DH and he is the love of my life. We met when we were teenagers and I dated his brother for a year! He moved away and walked into the bar I worked in nearly 13 years later.

My 4 dc absolutely adore him, their own father is a horror and my mum told me last night my dd's were talking about their dad and how horrible he is to their friend. They both said, at least we have DH.

He is strong, reliable, calm, clever and treats me like a queen.

My STBXH Still muss him so much and can’t believe he’s gone from my life.

miss

dont have one. met exDH at 25. now 42.

i read some of these posts with hope in my heart. i believe i will meet him, I do deserve a sense of contentment, a sex life and basic respect.

All ingredients missing from my marriage. It saddens me so much

The man I am with now. It took 52 years and a chance encounter on the www to find him but I am eternally grateful that I did.

In RL, my DH. Been married 28 years. I adore him. He's my soulmate and my rock.

In fantasyland, Roger Taylor from Queen. Fell in love with him aged 11. I still want him. He precedes any other man.

My DP...another one who met the love of their life while married to someone else.

odds were thrown at us that it was just lust, mid life crisis, it wont last when you pick his dirty socks up etc...well it has lasted and we are past mid life now and i love his dirty socks...

it is just as passionate as when we first met and i can honestly say if anything happened to him i would enter a nunnery as i will never want anyone else ever

My ex husband.

I don't believe that there is only one love of your life. I'm very happy with my boyf but he's not my soulmate, not the love of my life, just a good man I love now. If we broke up then I'd meet someone else and I'm sure I'd love them too.

Also @myrelationshipisweird, your ex sounds like an abusive nasty twatbag. Be glad you're done, you've lost nothing.

Bobby. No one will ever be Bobby. He was the one, but wrong time, wrong place.

@pointy and @Hazel you will find someone and be in love again

My first and longest boyfriend would’ve been, but nowadays it’s all about my current DP xxx

DS Dad. He was proper mental and abusive and there was no way we could be together. But when he was well he made me feel really loved and accepted and he was the best ever in bed.
He died 8 years ago and we were estranged.
Still dream about him sometimes and feel sad.

My stupid husband.

I haven't met the love of my life. It certainly wasn't my abusive ex.

I'm 25 with a toddler. I still hope I have a chance to meet my true love.

mick Hucknall

Stop it already I have something in my eye 😢

My husband. A million times more than I'd ever 'loved' anyone else (meeting him made me realise I'd never even come close even though I thought I had). I don't know how I could ever live without him.

In terms of grand passion, an ex. But in terms of strng love that endures despite the inevitable boredom of the every day sometimes, then definitely my husband. He makes me laugh, buys me flowers and just tonight grabbed me and danced me round the kitchen for about 20 seconds which he's never done before and we've been married more than 20 years, so he can still surprise me.

But I have to say that no love I've ever felt for any man comes close to the love I feel for my children. I can't even pretend I love DH as much. That's the most overwhelming, life changing, vital feeling I've ever had. It really shocked me. Still does.

My ex.

With him eight years. It ended seven years ago and I still miss him. He was the only man who ever 'got' me. I've had others, I've got one now, but they all seem to think I'm somehow 'odd' and that I should just stop it and be normal.

Now I just fake normality and smile. I'll never have that understanding again.