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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect people to rsvp?

10 replies

SleepyBadger · 23/02/2018 21:08

In a nutshell we’ve organised a party for our DD who is about to turn 4. It’s a soft play/bouncy castle party at our local leisure centre. Out of 10 children invited from her nursery class only 3 of the parents have bothered to RSVP so far (2 accept and 1 decline). Is this the norm now do people expect you to be a mind reader? I’ve thought about chasing the non responders but I shouldn’t have to? I will be heartbroken for DD if nobody turns up. I’ve also invited children from both sides of the family and some friends with DC of a similar age so there will be a few there but worried numbers will be a bit thin on the ground. I can’t deal with a heartbroken birthday girl. Wish I’d never bothered now and just stuck with party at home with family. Feeling deflated. AIBU?

OP posts:

chuckiecheese · 23/02/2018 21:12

If you have their numbers just send a blanket text confirming date of party and asking if they could let you know if they are coming or ask them if you see them at nursery.

It is rude but for peace of mind I would chase them up 💐

Original poster

SleepyBadger · 23/02/2018 21:18

Thanks for the reply...I don’t have all the parents numbers unfortunately and it’s normally DH who does drop off and pick ups due to work schedules...we rarely see the other parents to speak to! I’ll have to send little reminder cards out or something the week before. It’s just so annoying. I know I’m at risk of sounding really old fashioned but I just think people have no bloody manners anymore!

OP posts:

chuckiecheese · 23/02/2018 21:20

Perhaps leave it until nearer the time? Sometimes people don't confirm immediately but see what they are up too!! Are you sure the invites were given to the parents?

I agree it is rude.....

ChilliMum · 23/02/2018 21:22

I think it's worth chasing the non responders as I don't think it is always parents not bothering to reply but invitations not being seen.

We have missed a few parties over the years or been very late responders as invitations are squashed at the bottom of the bag, lost, screwed up in a coat pocket etc.. and genuinely just not been seen until after the date.

It was particularly bad in the nursery days as they both had bags with a change of clothes / wet weather gear but if they hadn't needed them then they weren't emptied and so anything at the bottom could potentially remain unseen for a couple of weeks.

Original poster

SleepyBadger · 23/02/2018 21:26

To be fair the Nursery DD goes to are pretty on the ball and aware things get missed and would normally hand the invites to the parents at pick up rather than put them in the kids bags. Maybe I should give people credit though and realise they are busy and might just take a bit more time to respond that I personally would...hey ho! Thanks for the advice. I’ll try and be more patient 🤣😬

OP posts:

filipafellipa · 23/02/2018 21:26

Op, my dd startedied reception last September. I invited the whole class to her October birthday. Of 30 kids, 8 replied of which 1 no. Then only 5 of those 7 turned up! The cheek!! I even sent reminders!, I figure most parents are too busy and rude to respond... sorry I hope you have a better result than I did. X

Original poster

SleepyBadger · 23/02/2018 21:29

@filipafellipa this is my fear! I can see this happening to be fair. It happened to one of my work colleagues with his little girls party and he ended up cancelling it and losing the money he’d already paid. Kids parties are not cheap! 😩 sorry about your experience. I honestly do think manners and consideration for others have gone out the window in modern society!

OP posts:

BabbittyRabbittyCacklingStump · 23/02/2018 21:32

I had a similar situation last year when organising a party for my DS & ended up cancelling as we had hired a soft play venue & it wasn't worth the expense for a few children. I absolutely hate it when people don't RSVP or leave it right until the last minute. It takes five minutes to type a quick text when you receive the invitation & makes life so much easier for the host!

Original poster

SleepyBadger · 23/02/2018 21:37

@BabbittyRabbittyCacklingStump sorry for your experience and for your poor DS who must have been upset too. I’m sensing this is a common theme and it’s not just us. Urrrrgh. I’m not sure we’d get the money back if we cancelled now, but I’ll check tomorrow with the venue to see where we stand. It’s just not worth the hassle and stress x

OP posts:

SleightOfMind · 23/02/2018 21:45

I’ve got 4DCs and when my DTs were at nursery DH and I were WFT.
I’m sure I was one of those rude parents sometimes but didn’t mean to be

We really tried to keep up with the parties/play dates/park meet ups etc but it’s very hard. Especially when you’ve got older DCs and other commitments.

Definitely send a reminder email (with a cut off date for responding to confirm numbers with the venue).

Im sure your DD will have a lovely time anyway. In my exp, they don’t really care who is or isn’t there at this age as long as you don’t make a big deal of it.

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