Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU about birthday card?

29 replies

Teawithtoast · 23/02/2018 10:17

I'd like to judge if the slight disappointment I am feeling is unreasonable.

It was my birthday yesterday and DH got me a really thoughtful gift and card. We have DS 8 months. I had bought DH a personal gift from DS for Christmas and in return received a lovely tin of luxury hot chocolate from DS. More than happy with that.

However, for my birthday, DH didn't even sign his birthday card from DS. Of course DS is a small baby and has no idea what's going on, but it would have been nice for me to have an acknowledgement from DS on my birthday. Its DH's birthday in three weeks time and I have a little gift and card already from DS prepared. Should I give it to DH and risk him feeling awkward? Or should I lump it on from both of us. I don't want to be petty and not include DS in DH's present.

OP posts:

Annechristmas · 23/02/2018 12:14

to have an acknowledgement from DS

Other than food and comfort I doubt he can acknowledge much.

PoptartPoptart · 23/02/2018 12:15

In the nicest possible way I think you are being a bit ridiculous

doesthislookoddtoyou · 23/02/2018 12:17

Of course DS is a small baby and has no idea what's going on

Correct, which is why
but it would have been nice for me to have an acknowledgement from DS on my birthday is patently ridiculous, which I think you already know.

Handsfull13 · 23/02/2018 12:18

I'd stick to your plan, if he feels awkward at least he will realise for next year.
Luckily in my relationship i can be quite blunt with dp and told him I expected a present and card from our twins for my birthday. I didn't want much just a little acknowledgement, I definitely feel you start as you mean to go on and you don't want to find yourself in a few years time resenting your dp for doing anything and you having to take your kids out to get something for your own birthday.

MadMags · 23/02/2018 12:18

😂😂😂

PatsyClineSilVousPlait · 23/02/2018 12:19

Sweet Jesus.

TheCatsMother44 · 23/02/2018 12:19

You've already said the present and card was really thoughtful so I can't really see how writing a name on a piece of card will make much of a difference, especially as you've already acknowledged your son is too young to know what's going on.

Give your DH the presents you've already bought for him in whatever way you were going to before, I very much doubt it'll make him feel awkward and doing otherwise just because of what he did, or didn't do, WOULD be petty.

HotCrossBunFight · 23/02/2018 12:20

It would have been nice. Hopefully you'll get something on Mother's Day 'from' DS.
People don't seem to find it so ridiculous when husband's buy gifts for Mother's Day!

GrannyGrissle · 23/02/2018 12:20

Can i kindly say OP that men just don't tend to give a crap about things like the baby signing their Birthday cards and suggest you dip DS feet in some paint and make yourself a keepsake card?

Nikephorus · 23/02/2018 12:20

It wouldn't be an acknowledgement from DS, it would be another one from DH. You had something to acknowledge DS' 1st Christmas, but you don't need something to acknowledge 'your 1st birthday since DS was born'.

mimibunz · 23/02/2018 12:21

He probably just forgot. No worries.

Moltenpink · 23/02/2018 12:21

YANBU, getting that first card with mummy on is a lovely moment. Tell DH (don’t hint) that you expect one for mother’s day!

italiancortado · 23/02/2018 12:21

So a nice thoughtful gift and card yet still you find a problem. YABU.

pinkie1982 · 23/02/2018 12:24

id feel the same OP. I always got DP a gift from DS and I never got anything

Catinthebath · 23/02/2018 12:27

I can’t understand why you’re being criticised here OP. You were perfectly entitled to receive a Happy Birthday Mummy card written by your husband from your son. No one who is old enough to source and write a birthday card themselves would buy one addressed to mummy so these cards are there for this very circumstance. It was just a lack of realisation on his part. Give him the daddy card and I’m sure next year he’ll reciprocate. I hope you had a lovely birthday

happymummy12345 · 23/02/2018 12:28

I think it's nice to get a card and present from a child.
I'm married and my husband gets me cards/ presents from ds, likewise I get him cards/ presents from ds.
At Christmas no one ever thinks to bed us a card together from our son, so now we just buy each other one, so at least we have one from him.
I don't understand why people say it doesn't matter.

Piffle11 · 23/02/2018 12:28

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. He's done something nice, but because it's not done exactly how you would want it, you feel let down. I'd let it go. One year when DC were little DH forgot to get me a card from them: I said not to worry, get their paints out and they can make me one. I ended up getting the one that DH had made, with nothing written in it! Pretty rubbish, but he's a very good DH all round, so I pick my battles. I know my sister likes thoughtful gifts for her birthday, and is often left feeling let down as her various OHs have fallen short of her expectations - I think you either have to spell it out for DH and just accept that this is what you're going to have to do to get what you'd like, or keep quiet and simply accept what you get with good grace.

PoptartPoptart · 23/02/2018 12:29

Molton - surely getting a card with ‘Mummy’ on is only really meaningful when it’s from the child (or at least when the child is old enough to understand about Mummy's birthday)?

Otherwise what’s the point? It just ends up being another card from her DH.

punkpuffin · 23/02/2018 12:30

Every birthday and Christmas I buy something for dh from our 3 boys. I've never received anything from 'them'. I've stopped being bothered by it now. Although he does put the boys names in the card.

I can see where you're coming from but I think you just have to accept that your dh doesn't think the same way as you do

doesthislookoddtoyou · 23/02/2018 12:30

You were perfectly entitled to receive a Happy Birthday Mummy card written by your husband from your son

of course she is not "entitled" to any such silly thing.

bettydraper31 · 23/02/2018 12:33

Blokes just don’t think about this kind of thing, they’re wired completely differently to us. Don’t take it personally.

tafftum · 23/02/2018 12:33

Oh dear😂😂😂

doesthislookoddtoyou · 23/02/2018 12:34

Blokes just don’t think about this kind of thing, they’re wired completely differently to us

sexist horseshit.

MerryMarigold · 23/02/2018 12:34

I understand you're hurt, OP, because it's something you would do. But clearly not what dh would do. Maybe you dropped a hint at Christmas, which is why he got the hot chocolate from ds. It's more that dh is acknowledging you as a mother and all you do for your son, rather than you hoping for something 'from' your ds.

I think as long as dh remembers Mother's Day, he's ok. But please do remind at least once...."Oh, it's going to be my first Mother's Day, as a Mum myself...."

NancyDonahue · 23/02/2018 12:36

Yanbu. Dh always did me a 'card' from the dcs when they were too small to do their own. Most are a folded piece of A4 and he's drawn around their little hands or there's a circle drawn around a 'kiss for mummy' and as they got bigger there's squiggle from them. Cheap and cheerful but I treasure them!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread