To worry about dd's friendship

[Midge1978]

Dd is six and very shy. She has one friend who she sticks to like glue, I'll call her Emily. It's hard to get a full picture of their friendship as obviously I'm not there at school but they seem to be close and have fun together. Emily is rather spoilt and petulant and strops if things don't go her
way but dd seems very fond of her.

However, sometimes dd says things that make me feel it's not the best friendship. Emily does seem to boss her around quite a lot and be very dominant. Dd seems desperate to please her and says that sometimes Emily gets cross with her mad she doesn't understand why. There are some days dd has no-one to play with because Emily has ditched her for someone else and she struggles to approach other children. This breaks my heart I must admit. I wonder whether dd is a bit clingy and Emily gets tired of her sometimes. Perhaps lots of six year old friendships are like that.

I would really value some perspective on girls friendships from other people. Is this kind of thing normal at this age? Has anyone else had their child choose a friend that doesn't always seem to be very nice? What do you do and what can I realistically expect at this age?

We send dd to activities to help boost her confidence and have engineered play dates with other children just to try and help her. Is there anything else we could do without over stepping the mark and interfering in something she needs to work out on her own?

Can you talk to her teacher? Try and see if your daughter can be encouraged to play with other children at school or at least sit and interactive with different children? Try and invite other girls on play dates to boost her confidence with playing with other children?

I would (did) speak to the teacher or TA and ask who they think would be suitable for a playdate. I would also start dance or drama lessons to increase confidence. Other lessons such as swimming don't directly promote friendships but are great for building confidence.

I have a similar situation with my DD. I've spoken to the teacher about it who is now encouraging the whole class to widen the circle of friends that they play with. I'm also trying really hard with planning play dates with other kids, even though she is only really wants the "best friend" to come over.

We have this with dd11. Best friends since nursery but the last year or so it's become like an abusive relationship. Friend has all the control and dd doesn't want to upset her!
Now they have phones and FaceTime etc it's got worse!
One thing that has helped is speaking to school and asking them to start splitting them up to encourage dd to make new friends so for e.g. They no longer sit together at the table, they don't do their special jobs together anymore, when they do lunchtime clubs the teacher tries to put them in different ones.
Thankfully, dd has started to realise that her friend is not very nice to her and so has started to separate herself a bit now but it does make me wonder how long it's being going on without us knowing

Yes this is like a toxic relationship too! Dd tells me if I do such and such then Emily gives me points. I have to do this and then I get points! I've tried to tell her that she doesn't have to do anything and she can say no but she looks confused about how to deal with that.

I have a 6 year old girl. She does say similar things. I always encourage her to have lots of friends. Her closest friend can be a bit like ‘Emily’. And there have been times when my DD has said no one has played with her. But then she’s occasionally said things which have made me think she has been a bit unkind herself. So I do think some of it is an age thing - and girls can be horrid. Speak to teacher if concerned. My DD is popular & I just encourage as many friendships as possible. And the way she comes bounding out of school everyday with a smile on her face I do think all is ok