Long long backstory to this, with lots of unreasonable behaviour by DS paternal family and I think this is the absolute final straw for me.
DS had birthday in December, we went to where his paternal family mostly live, and the ones who don't are happy to travel there for birthdays and Christmas. We had planned over a weekend days out for DS for his birthday and let all paternal family know this, said to them to come as they were for his birthday. He couldn't have a party there as we don't live there and it is too far to expect any friends to travel, they would have to spend a night. Anyway, over his life not one member of his paternal family have bothered to come and do anything with us for DS birthday, even when we went to their town.
This evening ex fil has called, he has said DS cousin is having a birthday party in a few weeks, asked if we could come, there has been a falling out with this cousins parents for their nasty treatment of DS, I said no. Ex fil then tells me how he is flying over (8 hr flight) and his ex wife DS grandmother is also making a 2 hr flight for this child's birthday. At this point I did lose it a little and state that I was extremely pissed off as they have never done this for DS. He then said that with his work it works out he can come for other DC birthday but that his holiday doesn't fall near my ds.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking it isn't my ds fault when his birthday is and that it doesnt fall with his holidays, these grandparents have never attended anything around DS birthday so it is clearly unfair that they would for their other grandchild?
Both children are the same age, 3 months apart. It just smacks to me of how this other child is favoured far more by his parental family.