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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nosy neighbour

51 replies

Peachyfizz · 22/02/2018 15:13

I've lived here almost 11 months. My neighbour is an old elderly lady who I have no problem with other than she is overly Nosy! I understand she may be lonely but I also get lonely as a single parent and am not nosy like her!
Last summer she would peer into my living room whilst standing in her front garden. Sometimes she would pretend to garden, stand up, peer in. I'd catch her a few times and she would quickly turn away. However it's now started again as spring is approaching. She's peering in again, trying to get a good look. It's becoming irritating! I'm quite a private person and I don't like it. AIBU to be annoyed at this??

OP posts:
MrsPreston11 · 22/02/2018 20:33

You need to have her see something she’s really going to regret......

ChristmasFluff · 22/02/2018 20:39

Honestly, don't go down the naked route. I did it accidentally with the next door neighbour (he was fixing his guttering, I didn't realise), and now he's always on those bloody ladders.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2018 20:39

Some naked yoga with your bare arse facing the window will solve it.

WeaselsRising · 22/02/2018 20:47

I could have written your post. Our NDN pops out to her bin so she can peer in our window. We have to keep the curtain drawn over the bay part of the window. She also nabs us in rhe garden.

bettytaghetti · 22/02/2018 21:05

We have a second home that has large glass windows around the property. We frequently find forehead marks on the windows where people yes we know it's you at number 3 lean against the glass to peer in! Not really complaining as we know they keep a look out when we're not there. Smile

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 22/02/2018 21:49

Some of these suggestions have had me laughing so hard!!!

Not sure on the naked route 😏 she would 100 percent avoid the window peer through though.

She also caught me in the garden earlier. I was trying to say D'S isn't well so I need to get inside. Not an excuse he is. And she was moaning at how cold it was and then she was outside gardening! Clearly got bored and thought she would have a nose!

When I lived with my parents and I was little we had a crazy next door neighbour. She is actually in a mental home Now! But before we knew she was crazy, she used to come round screaming at my mum saying she had seen her nicking off her washing line! Then she would stand at her back window and watch me and my sister playing. Now that was a crazy neighbour! Thank God I only have a nosy one!

OP posts:
Original poster
Peachyfizz · 22/02/2018 21:54

mims this had me
found stray- keeps looking in Windows. Seems hungry 😂

OP posts:
DrWhy · 22/02/2018 22:03

Nosy is annoying but potentially handy for keeping an eye on the place. It depends a bit how you get on. I have ended up very good friends with my widowed neighbour, she adores my DS and is always willing to babysit. When she first asked if DS was OK because we’d been up awfully late I was slightly freaked out that she keeps track of us that much but she’s a retired nurse and health visitor so it’s more than made up for that she’s willing to pop over at 9pm to tell me whether I need to be worried about a rash! If she’s just nosy and not someone you could ever become friendly with that’s a bit different.

BMW6 · 22/02/2018 22:24

TBH I'd just wave cheerily at her when you see her peering in.

Birdshitbridgegotme · 22/02/2018 22:58

Get some privacy screen. It's mirrored so she won't be able to see in but u can see out perfectly well

UnrelentingFruitScoffer · 22/02/2018 23:05

OP - it sounds as if you have lived next door to her for several months but have literally never said hello to this neighbour. That’s lame.

Why not do the decent thing and spend five minutes getting to know her ?

Almost certainly harmless. Might well be helpful about parcels etc. Easy to let her know without being rude if you want her to back off.

Frankly, OP, you come across as aggressive and socially awkward. It’s normal to chat politely to your neighbours from time to time and normal to let them know politely when you don’t want to be chatted to.

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 22/02/2018 23:09

unrelenting I've spoken to her numerous times for 10/15 mins at time. Just about general things. We have nothing in common other than talking about the weather or a bit of gardening. I'll always say hello and ask how she is. But I like my privacy and not having her peer into my front room. Now that is awkward!

OP posts:
WitchyMama3 · 23/02/2018 00:03

unrelenting so what if the OP is socially awkward, what does that actually have to do with this?
It's OP's house, her 'safe place' whether she's polite to the neighbour or not it really has no relevance. What gives anyone the right to just stare into someones house and make them feel uncomfortable?

Fingers crossed she gets bored of it soon peachy in the meantime some nice violle to match your colour scheme might work a treat, I've got some up in my front room, can see out of them nicely but you can't see in

DalekDalekDalek · 23/02/2018 00:47

I lived in a flat once with this crazy lady in the flat below (I mean literally crazy - I had to call the police one night because she was threatening me and she told them that I had been sent by the letting agents to listen in on her conversations). She was given an eviction notice for her behaviour. While waiting for her to leave, I was in my kitchen one night (where my front door was) and I turned around and she was stood up against the door with her face pressed against the little window in the door. I almost peed myself. Her head was just there, staring at me unblinkingly! She didn't move when I saw her, she just carried on staring until I walked away.

WattdeEll · 23/02/2018 02:35

My sister has this oh her conservatory as she felt like she was in a goldfish bowl with her nosy neighbour activewindowfilms.co.uk/58-mirror-silver-privacy-one-way-pro-window-tinting-tint-film-solar-control-sticky-back-51-76-100-152cm.html
Mirror effect for outside and worked to keep the room cooler in summer.

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 07:48

watt that stuff looks really good! Did she say it was easy to apply?

OP posts:
WattdeEll · 23/02/2018 08:12

Yes, she is a novice DIYer, she watched the video over and over until she was sure she had it but said it was easy.
We’ve used frosted film in the offices and same principle. Fingers crossed this solves your problem Smile

Original poster
Peachyfizz · 23/02/2018 09:51

I live in a bungalow so my bedroom is at the front and only have curtains and no blinds yet. So this stuff would be perfect for that too! Thank you

OP posts:
andherplayfulsheep · 26/02/2018 07:45

Christ, unrelenting! How dare OP want privacy in her own home! This is one of the many reasons why I hate having neighbours and don't get friendly with them. I'll say hi if I see them but that's it.

Jaygee61 · 26/02/2018 07:51

She had keys from the old neighbour and let herself in when I first moved in to see "what changes I was making"! I had not been told she had a set.

That is really, really not on.

babybrain86 · 26/02/2018 08:13

We have one that peers out her window at us constantly (whilst hiding behind curtains) She checks our bins to make sure we haven't put her cat in there 😱 and we have found her in our drive trimming down the hedges (presumably so she could get a better view!?) We got rid of the hedges and replaced with high fences in the end!!

OliviaStabler · 26/02/2018 08:15

Net curtains are you friends. Cheap, easy to put up and stops nosy neighbours from peering in!

TheCatsMother44 · 26/02/2018 08:38

I had a similar neighbour in my old house and I didn't realise how on edge I was till I moved to where I am now and have complete privacy.

The houses were on a kind of sideways slope, so hers was slightly above mine, this meant she could easily stand and peep into my garden and because of the design of my house she was able to look into my kitchen/diner. If I went into my garden and wanted to relax I'd have to position myself towards the back so she couldn't see me otherwise she would be calling my name and making pointless conversation over and over again. She would look into my house itself and call me outside from her garden, she did this once when I was in my bra making a cuppa in the kitchen (so clearly not dressed to stand in the garden and chat!) So being semi naked didn't put her off.

I know I sound heartless as she was clearly lonely but it got to the point where me not being rude of standoffish towards her seemed to make her think she was ok to keep disturbing me. I ended up peeping round the corner of my kitchen into her garden regularly to see if she was there and if she was id avoid using my kitchen or I would duck and cover to go to areas I knew she couldn't see me if I was in a hurry and needed to get stuff done as she wouldn't take no for an answer if I said I was in a hurry.

OP, don't be a walkover like I was!!! Nip this in the bud now and also change the locks, you should have done this ages ago.

SwarmOfCats · 26/02/2018 09:38

I’ve got one of these. She’s lovely, and a great person to have as a neighbour, but SO NOSY. She hangs out of her window in the summer when we’re in the garden, trying to talk to us but she’s pretty deaf and it ends up with bellowed conversations. She’ll pop round for a natter, which is fine, but stands on the doorstep asking personal questions which I have to sidestep (I don’t want to yell about my life to the whole street and it’s none of her business )

Going back a few years I had smoke alarms go off as I’d burned something while cooking, so opened the front door to dissipate the smoke. I’d popped back into the kitchen (at the back of the house) then, when I came back around 30 seconds later she was in my dining room picking up my toddler son. That was a bit Hmm

If she takes in packages for me - she interrogates about what’s inside. It’s kind of amusing...but I think peering through windows would be a step too far!

Jaygee61 · 26/02/2018 09:42

If you have curtains you could pointedly close them whenever you see her peering in.

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