5 years ago I suffered from horrible anxiety after the birth of my first DC and became a shell of myself. DH began hitting me, sometimes quite awfully. We were very young, a continent away from family and friends and my DD had health issues. I can't explain it, but I just lived in this situation for 3 years.
2 years ago I snapped out of it and told him to sort it out. He has had psychiatric treatment for undiagnosed severe depression, bipolar disorder and counselling. He hasn't laid a hand on me since. He is working hard to manage his anger and be involved with the DC and supportive of me.
I just can't forget what he did. I know he's worked hard to change and I wish I could move forward but I can't seem to. If I accidentally read anything involving DV, like the thread on here yesterday 'should I ask my DP to sleep in the spare room' it just sends me into a spiral and I'm crying all day. I get angry over the smallest things. I feel paralysing fear in situations which triggered him in the past, even though he's handling them well.
I can see how hard he's trying and how much he has changed. AIBU that I just can't let go of the past?