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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Financial settlement

2 replies

Kyliesized · 22/02/2018 07:58

Hi wonderful people- apologies- I’m sure this has been asked multiple times but I’m after some advice/reassurance after yet another sleepless night.
My OH and I are shortly to exchange financial settlement offers- he is 43 I’m 33- we have a 3 yo who lives with me- we have a house with circa £25k equity- I have a flat with circa 13k equity- he earns 80k +bonus- so far this year his salary is 130k mine is 11k. He has a pension 40k and a military pension- the amount is yet to be proven. He wants the house- I want the flat. I’ve owned the flat for 10 years the house was bought as a married couple- we put equal amounts into the property. We lived in my flat for about 18 months.he has said he is prepared to give me his 40k pension and he will leave my flat and my business alone-that’s it.
I want some form of spousal maintenance but understand as the marriage was 3 years it’s not going to be for long. I owe my business 27k and my parents 25k all for legal fees for the CAO order as we had to go through a finding of fact hearing ?domestic abuse.
I’m feeling really pressured to accept his proposal- he is threatening that if I don’t it’s going to drag on for 2+ years- and he is going to go after me for costs- something neither of us want- we both have new partners. At the point of separation I had 25k debt on cards and he 15k debt- I have my own business which he is threatening to take half of even though he has never brought any money into the business and took 10k out last year- I have the potential of a personal injury claim to the tune of possibly 25k by there are lots of maybes with this and no fixed time frame.
Any thoughts or advice will be hugely appreciated.
I will of course seek legal advice but I thought I’d ask here too.

OP posts:
NameWithChange · 22/02/2018 08:00

Put this in the Legal section on Mumsnet and/or Divorce if you want the most experienced answers.

Phillipa12 · 22/02/2018 08:10

Seek proper legal advice and dont be bullied by him. I would also be wanting to find out how much his service pension is? When i divorced my exdh he also was a high earner and we did our own consent order and then took legal advice, i couldnt have asked for an easier divorce, but one thing i had written into the consent order was a percentage of earned bonus every year till our youngest was 18, think its 50% of bonus upto a max £6k per year. (He has opportunity to earn 40k bonus ontop of a 95k base pay) might be worth asking a solicitor to have something similar written in for you.

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