To worry about this.

[Twocatsonebaby]

I really need some friendly advice.

So in 2015 my big brother committed suicide. My mom is devastated whereas my dad doesn't give a shit but floats about it online. So my mom's method of coping was to shut herself away and read. She also redecorated the entire house and she's gradually made a shrine to him since I've moved in with DP to have dd and ds. I haven't been back to her home for a while, but a medium said to my mom that my brother told her to get rid of this shrine as he hates it. It depresses him as we think he regrets it. He had asbergers but if I go into why we think it sparked off, I'll be here all day.

So long story now short, my mom came over the other day and confided in me she thinks my brother is a spirit in her home. An he's talking to her. I didn't think much of it at that point in all honesty. She admitted it could have been my brother or she was loosing her mind. Which brings me to today.
Im 35 weeks pregnant and we're getting the spare room renovated into a nursery or spare room. Just safe and nice for my children as it was a hazard in there filled with thousands of my brothers cds broken guitars etc.
So my mom was stripping the wallpaper off and I walked in to her shouting "piss off" and "what do you think of your sisters dd and ds?" I asked her what she was doing and she told me again, she was talking to my brother. An some of the things he apparently said were true, but she would know it anyway. An in his mannerism which again, she knows.

So I thought not much else until I told my partner earlier. He told me that my mom basically was going insane from grief and clinging on to grief and my brother. I would probably loose my mind if I lost one of my children. So my mom isn't a bad person. I'm not sure if I should be getting her help or just let her get on with it as it's a sensitive subject for us all. But them my partner raised up that it could turn nasty very quickly if something pops into her head telling her to hurt or commit suicide. So now I'm worried..

Aibu to ask her or even ask someone to help and give advice?

You must be so stressed and upset I'm not an expert in anything but I would say she needs some help, grief counselling or just to talk to a doctor? Would she agree to something like that?
What do her friends think? It's not healthy especially around your children. Sending you a hug.

I’d guess your mum needs counselling/therapy as she is turning inwards to deal with this tragedy. I’d encourage her to see the doctor for a referral.

So sorry for your loss OP :( and sorry that you have to be in such a horrible situation with your poor DM.
I would absolutely try and get her to have some grief counselling (or some more, if she's already had some), and maybe for your dad as well as it doesn't sound like he's dealt with the loss in a particularly healthy way, either.
I would also try and get her to stop seeing the medium (if she's still seeing them) as it's probably fuelling the fire and making it more difficult/impossible to let go.