To not get the joke?

[Funnysheep]

It's half term here and I've a week off with my two dc. 9yo and 3yp.

Today I put a film on a put out a few sweets for them each in a bowl. It was a handful of popcorn each, about 6 chocolate buttons, and about 6 jelly sweets.

The youngest didn't eat the jelly sweets or popcorn, just the chocolate buttons, I knew he wouldn't and that's fine, he'd rather eat fruit and yoghurt, but I just put out what I had in, so he was the same as his brother, it was more a treat for the eldest who does like sweets.

So dh came home from work, asks what we've been up to today and so on, starts acting all surprised that we've had sweets and helps himself to some.

After dinner the youngest asks for yoghurt, dh turns to me and says I should have just given ds1 a yoghurt with the film as it's no good introducing him to all those sweets.

I told him there's no harm offering him a few sweets with a film and to stop criticising everything I do (which he does).

He says he was joking and I can't take a joke, apparently I was supposed to laugh and agree with him. I'm a miserable git who can't take a joke.

I don't get it.

After dinner the youngest asks for yoghurt, dh turns to me and says I should have just given ds1 a yoghurt with the film as it's no good introducing him to all those sweets.

This is a joke? does he know what a joke is?

Yeah he is having a dig at you. My sister does this all the time - say something critical and then say "it was only a joke, god can't you take a joke". I didn't give much of a shit but it has affected her relationship with one of her (now adult) children quite a bit - and not in a good way.

In personal relationships I think you should say what you want to say and none of the passive aggressive/tinkly laugh/just a joke/head tilt shit.

There was no joke, he was being a bully. Nitpicking you, then when challenged on it he turns to gaslighting, trying to make you think you’ve failed to get a joke so that the blame falls back on you.

He sounds awful OP. He shouldn’t be criticising you over silly little things, that’s not how a good marriage operates.

What are you going to do about him?

He's a twat.

Hth.