Playground mafia

[theplacesyouwillgo]

Just so sick of the playground mafia. It's like being at school all over again. If you fit in great, if not then you and your child are social outcasts. Why do some people never grow up 😡

I think threads like this are bizarre. Just talk to them if you want to... if you don’t, then why let it bother you? I love the playground and catching up with everyone

I read a most useful phrase on here once..."the only thing you have in common with these people is that you all had sex in the same year.

It's not true though. The only reason we are all there is that we have children are the same age, but I've got loads in common with some of the Mums I've met through school. Don't most friendships start because people are in the same place at the same at the same time and get talking o each other.

Either talk to them or don't.
If two or more people are having a conversation that is perfectly fine, they don't need to look around for people to include.
More often than not all the 'cliques' are in peoples minds.
Invite someone round after school next week, see how it goes, chat to people. Once we get rid of the anxiety things feel a lot better.

Lastly I cant believe that people are complaining about people talking for half an hour. Are we meant to spend our time alone in silence? is there no one you could imagine talking to for more than half an hour?

@notso I totally agree it’s the worst argument I’ve ever heard. I’m still friends with people from primary school, secondary, college and uni- by this “logic” I’m friends with people who’s parents had sex at the same time as my parents??? Just bloody daft! I’d say out of a school of say 200 you’re likely to get in with at least one other parent regardless of when they had sex as a means of procreation.

I made some fabulous friends at the school gates, who I couldn't imagine not being with even all these years later when our children are all grown up....we used to chat for ages before and after pick up, didn't realise that was such a terribly offensive thing to do!!!
Likewise there were a couple of mums who, even though I smiled and said hello if we got there at the same time,just didn't want to know...their loss!

It's not supposed to be logic. It's supposed to be an explanation/pick me up for when you are the person who doesn't fit in or feels snubbed.

It's great if you find friends but at the end of the day you are lumped together with people in certain situations that you wouldn't necessarily pick as friends.

I've seen the same and attitude on here about work colleagues too. "Why would you want to be friends with people you work with?! They're just your colleagues, that's all."

Thing is, making new friends through work and through the kids seems to be the norm as far as I can see.

Posters who sneer at schoolyard or work originated friendships must have a social life built around macramé classes, cycling clubs and book groups, as apparently shared interests are the only legitimate basis for new friendships once you've left school or university.

Good grief.

Sure it's great if you make friends at the school gate, work, wherever.

It is however crap for an awful lot of people who feel ostracized, left out, gossiped about or stared at. Some self talk about not necessarily having anything meaningful in common with these people sometimes helps.

Between 3 different primary schools I have never come across the “mafia” (what a weird phrase to describe a goup of parents being friends, you know what a mafia is, right? ) or the cliquey excluding mums mentioned on MN. I’ve chatted to anyone who stood near enough for it to be comfortable. I’ve helped out with PTA things when asked. I don’t go out of my way to make friends at the school gate but i’ll Chat to anyone who tries to chat with me.

Btw, how do so many people know that these mums are hanging around school until 9:30 if you aren’t hanging around yourself?

I love chatting to mums and dads at drop off and pick up if I have time. If I’m not rushing off to work I’ve been known to be there for half an hour too. Unless you have specific information that they are bitching about you they could just be a bunch of friends, a bunch of people who have kids in the same class or just people who like the social contact. Who cares? You don’t want to get involved - fine - but I don’t get why anyone would judge people for enjoying the social contact. Some SAHPs or people like me who work from home might really enjoy the chance to talk to friends before heading home on their own.

I am going to do what a lot of people have said fuck em!

They mightn’t be too keen on that in the school playground

Coloursthatweremyjoy if people were ostrasizing me, leaving me out, gossiping about me, or staring at me (whether at work or at my child's school) then I'd think they were absolute shitheads tbh, not comforting myself with thoughts that we obviously don't have anything meaningful in common!

Trouble is it can just take one or two a.holes to make you feel you are being gossiped about or left out - if you are sensitive it can feel like everyone is staring after you hear one person has said anything bad.

It isn't OPs fault if she feels bad there, just as much as it isn't the people in the playground. I think it would be a stretch for most mums to say there isn't a queen bee in each playground, or one or two nasties. The playground is not immune to the rest of societal norms!