AIBU to think DH doesn't need to tell me this?

[OuchBollocks]

DH and I have a 3yo DD and a nearly 1yo DS. DS has been a bit under the weather with a cold since almost a fortnight ago, but has seemed worse for the last 4 or 5 days - gunky eyes, thick snot, temperature (tho it comes down with calpol), a horrible hacking cough that is keeping him up for hours on end in the night despite painkillers, nasal sprays, tilted cot, menthol rub etc etc. He's off his food and miserable but drinking plenty. So far, so much a yucky cold.

So... I am on late shifts this week and DH is at home with the children. Yesterday and today he has been texting me saying "DS is miserable", "the boy is really bad, won't stop coughing", "He's clingy and won't stop crying". So obviously I think he is deteriorating and I am messaging DH in a panic, should I come home and get an emergency GP appointment, should I take him to OOH when i get home? And DH replies all casual, no not an emergency, he'll be fine. SO WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? AIBU to think if the baby is the same as he was when I left the house a few hours ago, texting me like this is an awful idea that is only going to stress me out??

(Yes I am at work but I am having my dinner break and am well on top of my workload, before anyone asks!)

Perhaps he just needs to share how he is feeling about carrying for a poorly boy, and yeah if you did it when he was at work I'd feel the same. Maybe he's worried. Maybe

What exactly does he expect you to do with this information?

Maybe he just needs to vent to somebody because it’s upsetting him, understandably. Maybe if you didn’t want to hear it you should just tell him instead of telling a forum you don’t like it

My OH can be a bit like this- generally just a bit panicky and it’s not helpful. Things like Hel be changing DS nappy and it’s ‘omg you need to come help me it’s EVERYWHERE omg omg’ ....what does he I think I do when I’m at home with him all day?? I don’t have anyone to call on. Or in the evenings will make comments like oooo he’s so tired. Ok well you know where his bed is go ahead and take him to bed then!! It’s almost like I have to be consulted on everything it drives me mad.

If he said he was worried or stressed I could sympathise, but its presented like new information that requires actioning. It is stressful especially as its me up all fucking night with the poor boy but I can't fix it from here. Or at all.

Mpathies. My ExDH does this all the time. We actually have a pretty good relationship but his catastrophising about the smallest thing drives me insane.

Not sure why you would need to leave to take him to OOH or to make a emergency appt at gp? Can his father not make that call (both physically and otherwise??)

If my dh hadn't told me, I'd complain that why hadn't he told me. Maybe he's looking for advice or support from you?

He's telling you because suddenly HE has realised it. He hasn't seen it, or heard it, while you were doing the caring but now he realises just how bad that cough sounds and just how much work is involved, he needs to TELL people.

It is the equivalent of "man flu", it is "man nursing".

Also the way you describe him doesn't even sound that bad , he's 3 with a bad cold and cough , he's not bedridden with pneumonia!

Have you told him you dont want any texts unless you ask or its an actual update?

fridge I reckon that's it. He hasn't really noticed while I was there, now its a shock to him.

mrsdoublebarrel he's 11months not 3, and I didn't think he needed an appointment until DH panicked me, that's the whole point.

I don't want to tell DH to stop texting me. He is a good husband and father, he is just annoying me a bit with this particular quirk so i thought I would vent somewhat anonymously rather than cause bad feeling.