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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this inappropriate?

63 replies

LuxuryMilk · 21/02/2018 16:53

I got taken to one side at school pick up today to talk about an inappropriate conversation my child had had today.
Apparently they were sticking a picture of a skeleton in their book as part of the schoolwork, DC pointed to the pubic area and said something along the lines of “that’s where the willy is. Girls have a private too but theirs has a cut down it”. I assume he means the labia.

I didn’t have time to talk for long and she also spoke about another incident so didn’t have time to take it in, but now I’m back home I’m struggling to see what the big deal is. Aibu?

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/02/2018 17:29

Hardly worthy of bringing it up with you. A quick no thank you in class, no? Unless it’s part of a wider behaviour issue.

WidoWanky · 21/02/2018 17:29

Dont have a conversation. Send a letter. Then they can keep it with their special book.

Our primary school hated parents writing in but funnily enough loved sending stupid notes out.

bridgetreilly · 21/02/2018 17:30

Perfectly reasonable. My nephew drew a picture aged 4 and then announced, 'That's Granny and that's her vagina.' Granny wasn't thrilled, but children need to learn about their bodies and other people's bodies.

SellMySoulForMoreSleep · 21/02/2018 17:30

I teach sex education and my DS7 knows all about the penis, labia, vulva, vagina and breasts. He'd give your child's teacher a heart attack!!

Original poster

LuxuryMilk · 21/02/2018 17:31

I don’t really want to go in to his history as it’s long and complex. He is being investigated (is that the right word) for SN though.

Definitely didn’t say cunt. I don’t think he’s even heard that word before!

Thanks for the opinions, I will go and speak with her tomorrow.

OP posts:

Turquoise123 · 21/02/2018 17:33

seems unbelievably petty and rathre repressive

fruitbrewhaha · 21/02/2018 17:41

It sounds very puritanical.
Even if he was trying to be funny and sniggering the teacher should have just been factual about it. "Yes, that's right, but we call it a penis". By being all prudish just makes it seem naughty.

halfwitpicker · 21/02/2018 17:42

I don't see the problem?

RainbowGlitterFairy · 21/02/2018 17:46

Did he just say it the once at a normal volume or did he possibly get a bit giggly and silly or loud? or keep saying it? and who did he say it to?

I'm just wondering if maybe it's the way he said it that was inappropriate.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/02/2018 17:47

The teacher sounds like a crank. To be perfect honest.
He simply stated a fact about the male and female human body. What's the big deal.

TheFirstMrsDV · 21/02/2018 17:47

The school work was around the human body.
I can't see how it would be seen as 'inappropriate' (I have grown to hate that word)
If they had been working on a maths problem I could see their point.

I would pin them down as to what they mean. Faffing about with 'inappropriate' is a cop out.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/02/2018 17:49

FFS all kids giggle about bums and wellies.
Always have always will

zzzzz · 21/02/2018 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5plusMeAndHim · 21/02/2018 17:57

'inappropriate' means not fitting for the circumstances, and you yourself agree it was not theright place to be talking about genitals, so I really don't understand your problem.

WhereDidAllTheWashingComeFrom · 21/02/2018 18:00

Female Genital Mutilation is a specific thing teachers are told to look out for as part of safeguarding - it may have been a misunderstanding of the 'cut down there' phrase. Might be worth popping in to chat to the teacher

Oblomov18 · 21/02/2018 18:08

I thought can't see the schools problem. The only thing for you to do now is inform him of some of the better words that he could have used.

Oblomov18 · 21/02/2018 18:11

I don't have a problem with the word willy. I know penis is a good word/correct, but I don't have an issue with the alternative of Willy.
Some do though.

happytobemrsg · 21/02/2018 18:15

YNABU!

happytobemrsg · 21/02/2018 18:16

We also say willy. Not sure what to you for vagina. Vagina I suppose!

happytobemrsg · 21/02/2018 18:16

*what to say for

Pingu49 · 21/02/2018 18:19

It's 2018, we aren't allowed to assign genders remember

greathat · 21/02/2018 18:36

If he said "cut" she's probably had to say something because of fgm. It's one of the things we've been told to look for and report. Just speak to her tomorrow and ask for clarification

Ellie56 · 21/02/2018 18:37

bridgetreilly
Can't stop laughing at Granny not being thrilled.Did she clutch her pearls?

donquixotedelamancha · 21/02/2018 19:28

The teacher sounds like a crank. What a twit that teacher is.

Why do some MNers always have to condem everyone? We don't even know exactly what the teacher said. That said, I don't think the teacher is right:

I got taken to one side at school pick up today to talk about an inappropriate conversation my child had had today.

From what you describe I don't see it as inappropriate. If a child did that in my my class I would just teach them the correct terms. If they were being inappropriate (i.e. being silly instead of doing work) I would just redirect them, not speak to parents; but I know some parents expect to be told about every little interaction. Perhaps this teacher is a bit sensitive and it's worth telling DS to avoid this subject in class.

I do think it's worth teaching the correct language for when they get older. Kids get horribly mixed up or avoid discussing things when necessary. My 4yo uses the terms penis and vulva.

Millybingbong · 21/02/2018 19:31

It's about fgm.

Training is mandatory for teachers as is acting on concerns

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