Hi my two DSs aged 8 and turning 7 are in a local hurling club. We live in a small village and so the club is quite small. The boys will play U9 this year and also did last year as the club doesn't have enough players to run a younger age team.
Last year I felt my kids were being excluded from the team. In the interests of full disclosure, I have to admit that in particular my 8 year old is not a good player. He has no 3D vision and so struggles with fast ball sports. However all his friends play, it keeps him fit and active and he loves it.
Anyway last year the coach approached my DH and mentioned that there was a game coming up but he wouldn't be asking my eldest ds (7 at the time) to play. At U9 level the ball is played off the ground whereas in younger ages groups its played on the ground (more like hockey). Playing off the ground requires more skill.
DH said ok thinking, like I did, that he was only asking the older boys to play.
On the day of the match I had my DD at training for one of her clubs and lo and behold wasn't the boy's team playing the match at their grounds. I couldn't believe when I saw all the boys togged out to play and realised that my 2 boys were the only 2 not asked to play. Included in the team was a 5 year old (big lad same size as my eldest ds) and a 6 year old who is in my youngest ds's class. So essentially the coach had said my ds wasn't able for it but thought a 5 and 6 year were fine.
I said nothing as I was a bit upset and it was the last match of the season.
Fast forward to last weekend and the coach contacts me to invite eldest DS to play a mini match during half time at a county match. DS is delighted, DH asks me if youngest DS was invited and I said no and that it must be only the older boys.
We go to the match and again I see these two younger boys are togged out and are playing too. Youngest DS was the only one not invited to play. A friend (who is best friends with the coaches wife) asked my why my youngest ds wasn't playing (she is also the mother of the 6 year old) and I said he wasn't invited to. She looked very surprised. I wanted to say it to him at the game but I was actually so upset I knew I would start crying and I didn't want that.
I'm flipping raging over this. I know this coach had form for excluding my boys over their height (they are tiny) and their playing ability. He has in the past only put ds on for matches for 5 mins (he also coaches the football) when they should be getting a min of half the game.
I have said nothing because DS didn't notice and TBH I hate the confrontation. BUT I'm not putting up with it anymore.
My question is do I contact him now before training starts and mention the mini match incident and hope that alerts him to the fact I'm watching this, or wait until training and pull him up the first time he does this again?