A DIL one

[MrsMaxwell]

She’s not my DIL she’s my sons g/f. He is 20 and she is 18.

DD and I absolutely adore her. She has practically moved in here and DS1 works nights so she spends a lot of time with us and is part of our family.

They are going overseas for a few months and then planning on getting a place together. They will be the same age EXDH and I were when we married and had DS1.

Thing is they are very young and I know this might not be forever.

What happens if they do spilt up? Do I have to give her up too and is that when I become MIL from hell to whoever he does end up with?

I split with my husband many years ago and I have maintained a relationship with all of his family. I was hesitant to leave him because I was part of their family and thought I would not see them again.

:( I’ve been with DO since 18 ( only 5 yrs admittedly) but wish my MIL and I had such a relationship.

She’s just lovely. She really looks after her dad as he is really shy.

She organised all three of my kids into getting OH and I a wedding present.

She asked me to show her how to cook things and she cleans up after herself apart from being lovely.

She’s really thoughtful I think from being through a messy parental divorce

My kids have been too so I am not perfect.

That’s sweet. And a messy divorce isn’t always your fault. My parents went through one and I certainly don’t blame them for being human ... parents can be little terrors too when heartbroken and angry.

My MiL is lovely, I buy all their presents etc because I know I’m better at it, but she’s just sooo different ( v introverted, upper class, rich, demure) and I’m a loud extroverted Yorkshire lass.

We get along pleasantly, but sadly I don’t love her or have a familial relationship, which I always wanted coming from a family as large and massively fucked up as it is.

I think if anything happened between DH and me ( hopefully nothing will I love him totally) relinquishing my MIL would be too much as well. I frequently phone her for chats etc.

My friend has stayed close to her DSs ex GF. Both her DS and ex GF are happily married to their new partners and no one harbours resentment for anyone else. I think it’s really lovely.

I’ve been with DH since a young age and have now known MIL for more than half my life. We get on well and I go for regular day trips with her now she’s retired. So you might get your wish!
I wonder whether it helps that she had some MIL issues herself so has been careful to avoid doing the things that her MIL did!

I had DS to make sure I wouldn't lose MIL and PIL in the unlikely event I separated from their DS (lighthearted).

My DS is 20 his girlfriend is 21. It's his first serious girlfriend and I think she is fab! I'm hoping they are in it for the long haul. 😁

My DP remains a bit gutted about his two BILs. He says both his DSis had long term boyfriends who the whole family adored, full of fun and lovely blokes. Instead he ended up with BILs who are very antisocial, one in particular doesn't make his DSis very happy, and family occasions aren't half as enjoyable either.

i loved my brothers ex.... he married another woman who absolutely hates me (no idea why) and i mourn for the close relationship i was hoping to have with my sil.