To ask you what ‘for better for worse’ really means to you.

[Calvinlookingforhobbs]

Just that really.

"Whatever life throws at you..."

What it doesn't mean, to me, is that you have to put up with really bad behaviour from the other person.

It means supporting each other through bad times and celebrating good times together. Same as pp whatever life throws at you, not putting up with terrible highs and lows in their behaviour.

^ as per previous posters. Supporting each other through life when it turns to custard around you, celebrating together when things are going well.

And as per previous, it's not a get out of jail free card to allow bad behaviour from either of us.

For me it meant sticking together no matter what life threw at us. Miscarriage. Infertility. Failed IVF.

For my ex, it meant fuck all.

Looking at the one you love on a life support machine and praying for a miracle.

Working together, no matter what happens, not giving up when the going gets tough and looking after each other through the toughest and best of times.

It means when it gets shit, you stick around and don't give up. When one is weak the other is strong. You know that you've got the one person who no matter what will have your back.

I got married in August, 6 months after my nan passed away. When I said my vows, I thought of how my grandad dedicated 4 years to her and her illness (she had altzheimers) and how his entire life for that 4 years was all about making her happy. For me that sums 'for better for worse'.

My Grandad nursing my grandma through 8 years of Alzheimer’s. When he finally accepted she needed to go to a home he visited everyday come rain or shine. He lived for 6 Months after she died.
When I look at my mum and dad and see all they do for each other. No matter how hard life got, or the rough patches their relationship went through, they stuck by each other.
I want this for my marriage.

DH and I have been married 20 years so far. In that time we've had new jobs, and been made redundant. Had one baby and three miscarriages. Celebrated great successes, and had a life changing injury. My mum got dementia, my dad has been in hospital more times than I can think. DH has had 4 lots of surgery, I've had 7. Dh had a nervous breakdown and a year off work. Moneys been plentiful and scarce.

Through it all, the two of us have made it work together - we celebrate the good things and cry together at the crap. And thats what for better for worse means to me. We're a team, and no shit is going to break that.

It is just as we said. For richer for poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others as long as we live. It’s about working through the tough times together. It’s about trust, honesty, wanting to always put the other person first, about being as one.

It means caring for my OH, who has a neuro-degenerative disorder. Not at all what we planned, but no question that this is what I will do - I know for sure that he would have done the same for me if it had been the other way round.

It's what my grandma would say when she was almost dead on her feet from looking after my grandad, who had dementia and who should have been in a nursing home.

It's not something I said in my wedding vows. I guess I'd go with 'for better or for worse' but not 'for better or for worst'. There comes a point where you need to look after yourself.

It means that we’re a team and we look after each other whatever the world throws at us.
(It isn’t an excuse for either of us to behave badly..)

It means you support each other through the tough times in life. You celebrate the good times together and work through the tough ones. Sometimes one has to be the stronger one etc.

It does not mean putting up with the worse side of human behaviour - abuse, unfaithfulness, cruelty etc.

While it involves accepting that one will not always be happy in life, it does not mean that we have to stay in long term, unhappy marriages. Every person has the right to decide if they have done enough.

Wow. Some really amazing couples out there. Thanks you for the replies. Lots of wisdom on here

That you’re a team no matter what and you get through it together. So when you’ve got 2 kids under 3 and your wife gets diagnosed with breast cancer you support her and wotk through it as a family. That was what my husband did and despite loving him so much on our wedding day it’s so much more now, because he did the ‘worst’ bit and got me through it as well

Marriage is hard work sometimes. I don't mean if there is actual abuse, just that there comes times when you get on each others nerves. You wonder if you still really love your spouse.
To me the marriage vow means hanging in there through the bad times because the chances are it will get better.

My MIL believes it means that my DH should leave me because I got ill and can't be a housewife as she planned.

(Sent too soon)
To my DH it means telling me every day he loves me just the way I am, and genuinely making me feel loved and not a burden for getting ill.

I’m sorry @BlubberBlubber that sucks. I hope you and your DH don’t think that

I guess I'd go with 'for better or for worse' but not 'for better or for worst'

^^ This. The vows are applicable if you are both working towards them. It doesn't mean stay no matter how DP treats spouse.