Neighbour has been in my garden

[MiffedMummy]

I live in a gff with small garden accessible by a small gate without a lock but it is very much our land.

I haven't been able to do any gardening as I was sick during my entire pregnancy and since having my DC I haven't been able to do it because DC has been very clingy so far - not a problem to me but doesn't allow me to do a whole lot. We have decking, lots of pebble type stuff surrounding it and a path to it, there were some weeds so what I did do was pour a shit load of weed killer on the weeds and they died, I had intended to pull them all up but never seem to have the time. I can't fault DH either, he works hard and is doing all the DIY we never managed to finish before our DC was born. DH has chopped some bits up in our garden and admittedly there was very small bits of broken wood, small bits of plastic, etc. that DH swept by our back door until we we did a big tidy of it all (although I do think DH should have binned that at the time).

I went out today and heard my neighbour walk quite quickly towards the door too, I expected that a conversation was imminent but my neighbour didn't come out. When I came home no more than 30 minutes later, my garden has been swept, bits just chucked on top of the pebbling, broom, mop, any other bits now chucked there too. I did notice neighbour had taken back over 30 pegs that seem to get there from washing hung above our garden and neighbour has also moved some broken materials from works that had been done to their flat into their garden, from ours (we would have taken into to the recycling centre when we went next so didn't bother moving it). Neighbour doesn't use their (very overgrown) garden which is behind ours and has no other reason to be out there.

I feel like it's a massive invasion of privacy coming in when I'm out, right up to the door and windows. AIBU?

Why don’t my neighbours tidy up after me. I’d leave them a list of jobs if they did.

I think it completely depends upon the relationship you have with your neighbours and what you tend to do for each other. Based on what you have said, I would hope that your conversation had been overheard and someone was just trying to be kind. However, I would also feel as if my privacy had been invaded and I really wouldn’t like it either.

Hopefully your DC will give you a bit of a chance to be able to do things how you would like with your garden this summer. I do agree with PP though about getting a lock for your garden gate.

This is very weird and I am very confused so many people don't think it is,

Neighbour was being kind.

My neighbour recently did exactly the same thing on my front garden. I saw her pulling weeds up when I was driving up the road and she literally ran back into her house! I found it very odd and I'm not sure she was being kind as she has been rude in the past. I found it very intrusive and it made me feel uncomfortable. I'm heavily pregnant so had just not got round to doing it, I think some people have a lot of time on their hands. I would get a lock if I were you.

@parklives

"This is very weird and I am very confused so many people don't think it is"

this!! I can't believe how many people think it's okay.

Update: Neighbour told DH that it was her who did it. Then gave him a dustpan to do the stuff she dumped on the pebbles

Considering he's told you he has MH issues, I'd dismiss this (and get a padlock so he can't get in again.) It's possible he thought he was doing you a favour. He may also have been confused or felt compelled to tidy up: sometimes MH disorders make people do things they wouldn't normally do when well. We once found our neighbour lying on our lawn with a pair of nail scissors, he informed us he was 'cutting the grass' for us. He had bipolar and was experiencing a manic episode. A few weeks later (back on meds) he came and apologised for climbing over our fence! He was a lovely man.

I wouldn’t like it, no matter how kind the intentions. If people want to help, then offer, don’t just sneak in & move stuff/remove stuff. I wouldn’t mind if they’d dropped something over the balcony & wanted to retrieve it though. Putting crap on the pebbles & creating more work would seriously piss me off.

2018 I would have knocked & asked if they were ok with it. I can see why you want to do it & most people would be perfectly happy for you to organise & pay for it, but it’s their garden and you don’t have any right to just intrude on it because you think it’s a mess next door...and it’s ‘rented’. Even though the old owner did it, I’d still knock or put a note through the door to say ‘We have organised a bloke to mow our lawn, I’ve asked him to do your bit too while he’s here as they’re both so small it hardly seems worth just doing one of them! We don’t mind paying. I hope that’s ok with you, please let me know if you’d rather he didn’t do it’.

This isn't normal and isn't ok. I'm baffled that so many people on here would be happy at a neighbour trespassing and doing jobs on my property (especially when their own garden is a tip).

neighbour has also moved some broken materials from works that had been done to their flat into their garden, from ours

This is the bit that jumped out at me OP. So your garden had the neighbours pegs and the neighbours building waste in it and they came over while you were out and got their crap? Then they half heartedly swept up?

Sounds like they were feeling guilty about their rubbish being in your garden and thought you would be pissed off so came over when you were out to avoid an imagined confrontation. The sweeping was probably to 'tidy' bits from their rubbish but they just did a crap job.

Yes the neighbour has said it was to apologise, then handed DH a dustpan for the pebbles which is the bit that got me and still does. They mentioned something else which also made DH think they've been in our front garden too (they have their own front garden) and don't need to be in ours. I do believe now it was from a good place and maybe due to OCD. Neighbour is very tidy (apart from their garden and throwing out old bits of food into our garden and theirs 'for the mice birds') so perhaps couldn't help it once they came in although I do think that they should have asked but we were going to just take the bits to the recycling centre as the materials will sit in their garden for yonks now anyway.

AnnieAnon good advice. DH did just that and they were delighted.