To think my child should have been invited

[PurpleOctopusT]

Bloody party one.
Dsis in foundation year at school with some of kids from nursery.
Before Xmas it was her bday She didn’t invite whole class but invited most of her nursery friends in her new class (6) and a couple more girls. We have invites to teacher as didn’t want to hurt feelings.
Anyway one of the boys from her class that she invited who she knew from nursery it’s his bday next week his mum who I thought I was friendly with has made a big thing about who’s invited handing out invites opening and shouting across playground.

1. Dd doesn’t understand why everyone else he knew from nursery was invited but her

And 2. Why she had him at her party and she’s not been invited back. I feel bit funny that the Mum either has an issue with me or poor dd- I know this all sounds pathetic and im obviously naive to playground politics but urghhh

Dd not dsis!

You have to get tough about this sort of thing....brush it off. It happens quite a lot through most kids journeys in school. Has this boy invited only boys?

It's hard when your child is left out but it's also part of life's learning. I used to just say "they could only invite a few..." or similar and then change the subject.

Perhaps as a boy, he didn't want girls at his party. Or perhaps she only wanted to pay for a certain number of children at an event. Or perhaps she allowed her son to choose and he didn't say her name. Could be any number of reasons. She can't be invited to everyone's party.

You are lucky if the teacher handed out the invites, it's not a teachers job. To be honest I wouldn't ask a teacher to do that, so perhaps this mum thought the same so handed them out herself.

What lipstick said. Very good advice.

You've go to learn not to take it personally - difficult when you see your DD upset, I know. I've had this with my DS a few times, and I've even accidentally missed out a child that should have been invited. When DS was really young we invited the whole class, but as he's got older we do an activity and take about 8-10. The shouting across the playground and handing out invites is unnecessary, though. I've only seen one DM do it at our school and tbh, if you'd asked me beforehand who would do it, I'd have said this woman. She seems to need an audience.

You can't expect your child to be invited back by everyone that came to her party. Friendships change fast. The mum probably asked him to name a certain number friends. Do you expect her to force him to invite your DD just because they went to the same nursery?

You just need to brush this off otherwise your DD may pick up on your feelings.

No your child can’t be invited everytime and ultimately she won’t. You’ll save a lot of heartache if you explain that it’s not that she’s disliked but that mums and dads can’t always afford to invite everyone. You will also one day probably not invite someone to your DDs party despite her being invited to theirs and it won’t make you an awful or horrible person for doing so. By the time your DD get to Y6 like mine you’ll be dreading party invites for all but her closest friends.