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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does a bag on a chair reserve it?

56 replies

pupchewsleg · 20/02/2018 17:25

Context: I am waiting for DS1 in a busy seating area at gym/trampolining. There are lots of tables most occupied by toddlers/ mums. DS2 (8) and I usually try and grab an arm chair/sofa, there are only 9 of these seats in total, and read quietly. When we arrived there was a free arm chair which DS2 nabbed. Next to it was another armchair with a bag on it. I left it a minute or two then asked everyone on surrounding tables and sofa if the bag belonged to them. It didn't. I moved the bag onto the arm of the chair and sat in the chair. All good. 15 min later a man pushed past my legs ( I automatically apologised - very British). He grabbed the bag (which kind of hit me) and stalked off. He came back a min later for some nearby water bottles, and went off and found another seat (sofa squashed up with someone else's coats). He was clearly annoyed. Aibu? We are newish to the gym. Was the seat his and should I have offered it to him?

OP posts:
Mimsy123 · 20/02/2018 17:56

So I moved her trolley and got the thing I wanted. She gave me a nasty look but tough.

I agree Iprefercoffee. Today, I was trying to get to the spaghetti aisle at the supermarket and a woman was stood right in the way. Honestly, I just couldn’t get pasta Smile

pupchewsleg · 20/02/2018 17:56

His child was doing gymnastics. No parents allowed in that area, so he wasn't doing childcare. As I said he might have been in the loo. The thing is there are lots of bags, coats, waterbottles left on seats by children, whose parents have dropped off. I would happily move those. I didn't know who the bag belonged to or why he didn't actually sit in the chair. He wasn't at the cafe bit as that's close by.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 20/02/2018 17:56

You didn't need the chair though unless your dd has a disability.

LexiGray · 20/02/2018 17:58

Yes I put them on the floor, coming out of the pool with two small children, all of us cold and dripping wet with arms full of the clothes we put into a locker. Very frustrating to find all the cubicles full of clothes others can’t be bothered to put in lockers.

Tainbri · 20/02/2018 17:58

IMO it would reserve the chair for five mins or so, for example, I've put a bag on a chair in Costa, got my coffee and then gone and sat there as can't carry tray and shopping bag, but fifteen minutes isn't acceptable. You were in your rights to call the bomb squad as an abandoned package!

pupchewsleg · 20/02/2018 17:59

I didn't need the chair. Neither did he as far as I can see. It's the etiquette of reservation that's the question. I am not more infirm than my DS so it was possible for us to share a chair.

OP posts:
RingFence · 20/02/2018 18:00

If there weren't many free seats, I would have moved the bag. Probably to the floor! It's annoying when people try to reserve seats. People do it at toddler groups, if I want to sit down I put their bags on the floor, pile coats onto another coat pile on someone else's chair.

LexiGray · 20/02/2018 18:01

With the supermarket issue I would have asked first, I can see what you got a funny look if you didn’t.

youngnomore · 20/02/2018 18:01

Mimsy Grin

Curious2468 · 20/02/2018 18:02

I once had a woman in the library go beserk at me because she felt she had reserved the table by putting her mindees library cards on the table. At the time the children themselves weren't even there and the kids just sat to read without a second thought. The library staff were fuming though and asked me
to fill in a comments form as the lady had done similar to other people too. These people are pretty entitled imo.

I would say somewhere like a class a bag suggests they are returning and I'd give them 5-10 mins. More than that and I think I would sit too.

coffeeforone · 20/02/2018 18:03

I’d say a bag reserved seat for 5-10 mins max, after which 15 he should happily risk it being moved.

ThisLittleKitty · 20/02/2018 18:05

Yes it does imo. I was in the drs today and it was packed. When a seat finally came free I let my 3 year old sit down. After about 20 minutes he asked for the toilet so I left his coat and umbrella on the chair. The walk-in service is a 2 hour wait was I suppose to let him stand for 2 hours? Someone would have certainly taken the seat.

EggysMom · 20/02/2018 18:05

I'm with the OP on this - if you wait for a few minutes and nobody returns to the chair/sofa with items from the cafe, then move bags to the floor and sit down.

I hate seeing the sofas in softplay "reserved" in this way. You're either sitting in them, or you're playing with your children, or you're queuing for the cafe. You don't smother two sofas in your children's clothes and then go outside for a cig.

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/02/2018 18:09

Kitty no but why didn't you keep your three year old on your knee. If there were no other seats the other sick/injured people would have to stand.

UpSideDownBrain · 20/02/2018 18:09

As I said he might have been in the loo

IT MUST BE SHITTING MAN !!!!!

MacaroniPenguin · 20/02/2018 18:14

This drives me mad at dancing. Kids leave their bags on chairs and go off to their lessons. I do similar to you, give it a while then move them as it's ridiculous for the bags to have the seats while the people have to stand for an entire lesson. But occasionally I get a sniffy comment from a mum who thinks everyone else should stand because her family need 4 seats even though 3 of them are in their lessons.... Grr...

FrancisCrawford · 20/02/2018 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spikeyball · 20/02/2018 18:15

Someone actually took our seats in a cafe when we were still using them last weekend. Dh got up to go to the toilet and a woman parked herself in it (without saying a word to me) When I stood up to start getting ds ready to go, her friend sat in mine - our coats were still on the back of them and our stuff on the table. And there were loads of empty seats. I think people make up their own rules about what is ok to do.

chocolateworshipper · 20/02/2018 18:15

MN seriously needs the ability to create a poll. I think we, the MN jury, should decide on the amount of time someone can reserve a chair with their bag.

I agree that 5 minutes is fine - to parent a child or grab a drink. I may be persuaded that 10 minutes is acceptable. Not 15 though.

catkind · 20/02/2018 18:17

Our gym place has been evacuated, swimming pool and all, for apparently abandoned bags. He's lucky it just got moved not stolen or exploded!

Ivymaud · 20/02/2018 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spikeyball · 20/02/2018 18:28

If you are in soft play or similar and you have a child that needs someone with them all the time, you have to leave bags unattended. I used to put them on a table because I needed somewhere consistent to bring him back to for snacks and calming time out. If there were no other empty tables then I would understand someone moving them ( not likely because we went when it was quiet) but not otherwise.

pupchewsleg · 20/02/2018 18:30

I like the idea of a poll, but in the absence of that I will accept that I wasn't being entirely ureasonable but perhaps could have offered him the seat. Once he had swiped me with the bag as he whisked it away I didn't feel inclined to. We all survived the session though!

OP posts:
PositivelyPERF · 20/02/2018 20:55

Ahh bugger! I was coming on to say that UpSideDownBrain grumble grumble 😢

😁

Seniorcitizen1 · 20/02/2018 21:02

Only an arse reserves a seat - not a coat a bag or anything else

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