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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about this charity worker?

30 replies

TheStickSong · 20/02/2018 15:34

NCed just in case I am BU. Grin

I work freelance and have recently taken to working in a public space. I sit at my laptop with my headphones on and occasionally get up for coffee or for the loo. I will smile and acknowledge people but don't chat. I am there for about three hours three or four times a week and have been for the past month or so.

There is a stall set up near the coffee shop on site for a well known local charity. It is an excellent organisation who do wonderful, difficult work. The stall is manned by the same chap every time I go in. His job it seems is to try to get people to sign up for a direct debit to the charity.

Every person who walks past him is greeted with a "hello love" or "alright chap" and asked if they have a minute. When they say no he is very polite and affable.

Here's my problem. I have to walk past him to get coffee, and to go to the toilet. Then I have to walk back past him again. EVERY SINGLE TIME he says hello. I say hello back on the first one of the day, smile at the second one but once it gets to the third or fourth time I avoid eye contact and try to be involved with something else.

When I was leaving today, he said hello again and I ignored him (I wasn't even near him at the time but I was the only person in the vicinity) so he shouted it across the building. At which point I scurried out.

Is it me? AIBU to want him to leave me alone? I can cope with a first thing in the morning "hello", that's just polite. But the subsequent ones feel more and more intrusive and the last one today was, I felt, a bit aggressive. I don't want to be a drama llama about it but should I say something? To him? To the charity? And if so, what?

OP posts:
Hygge · 20/02/2018 17:06

I was looking into this a bit more and there are rules that charity collectors are expected to follow, which include where they are. This is on the Fundraising Regulator UK website.

This is the Rule Book for Private Site Fundraising which I think might apply to the space you are in OP.

There is also information for Door to Door Fundraising Rule Book and Street Fundraising Rulebook.

By shouting at you after you ignored him, he may have broken rule FR9 which states that fundraises must not attempt to initiate a conversation or continue to engage a member of the public if that person clearly indicates by word or gesture that they do not wish to be engaged.

Since he is there to get people to sign up to donate, saying hello is a way to engage you, so it's not just a simple greeting. Shouting it at you across the room after you've refused to engage could be seen as breaking this rule.

TheStickSong · 20/02/2018 17:10

It's a bit different to the standard chugger set-up. I associate that with over-enthusiastic young people on commission bouncing tigger-like around the streets. This guy is middle-aged and has a table which he sits behind. I have never, ever seen him get up from his seat.

I dunno. It's very difficult to describe what's happening. I'll be in tomorrow. I will smile politely each time I go past but I'm not going to say anything at all for fear of encouraging him.

OP posts:
riggitywrecked · 20/02/2018 17:12

Just sign up for a direct debit!

£2 per month, guaranteed non annoyance/ get out of chat clause and you get to feel good about supporting the charity! Grin

Hygge · 20/02/2018 17:15

He will still have to abide by the rules though OP, even if he's sitting down.

We have a similar sounding thing in our shopping centre, only it's two women on bar stools behind a weird tall table.

It's hard to describe how they talk because they kind of shout but in very monotone flat voices, and they don't approach you, they certainly don't sound enthusiastic, but they still manage to grate at you if you get within ten feet of them.

If you are clearly not engaging with him he shouldn't be shouting at you. Even if you do something as simple as shake your head or raise your hand in a stop gesture.

dustpan · 20/02/2018 17:24

Totally get you, it's rude and demanding. If he does it again, quietly & politely say "you've said hello to me 3 times today already. Please don't shout at me again, I don't like it. I'm not ignoring you and I admire the charity you work for. But I don't usually greet someone several times a day." Then smile politely and carry on your way

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