About finding my PIL a little claustrophobic?

[electricblue2017]

My PIL are lovely people. However, me and dh have argued about the use of 'find my friends' as his mum looks to see where he is. He thinks she cares, I think he's 40 and needs to stop being a child. Recent example was tracking us on way back from recent holiday.

Before we moved in together, PIL used to let themselves into his house and do the gardening, ironing and cleaning. Came back to his once to find the bed made and cuddly toys on the pillow. They are now saying they could come over to our new home and do the same.

Am I being aibu to find this an invasion of privacy and claustrophobic, albeit well intentioned? DH says they are just trying to be helpful

I just find the tracking thing weird, mainly I suppose as I live hundreds of miles away from my parents and don't have that sort of relationship I.e. 'are you stuck in X country dear' as she has looked at the tracking device?

What happened to calling people up and asking where they are?!

Well, the tracker saves having to call them up and asking where they are! That’s the point!

I'd hate the tracker. Wouldn't be able to pretend I wasn't at home!

My DP's mum did our garden whilst we were on holiday. It was fabulous. I have no interest in gardening at all. No one would dare move my stuff around though.

Can't you just delete the app off his phone?

Just had another discussion around it, apparently things like that don't bother him but he understands why it stresses me

And can't really delete it, he should make his own choices!

Have you got a dcat? Strap the phone to its back and let it out!! Keep mil occupied!!

My grandad tracks every journey I go on. I find it quite sweet. It also means I don’t have to ring him when I get there/back cos a, I never remember too and b, he already knows.

I would be making it clear that your household and it’s respective chores are yours and your dh responsibility and you will not be tolerating unexpected visits to do the cleaning

@electricblue2017

My DH used to say 'it didn't bother him'. This used to bamboozle me for a while because I couldn't get the courage up to say 'this is my home and I, with you, are the only ones to have input in to it'.

My DH would quite happily sit back. But then he was never doing any of the work in the first place: the cooking, the cleaning, the childcare. So it made no difference to him at the end of the day. I won't put in work to my home to be made to feel uncomfortable or not in charge of it.

I hope you get it sorted.