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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that you can be content working in a poorly paid job

136 replies

GandolfBold · 19/02/2018 20:57

Because BIL thinks you cant, and that I am kidding myself (work as a support worker on just above NMW which I love) if I think I am content.

He said that people may think they are happy, but they would be happier if they earned more money.

As a bit of a back story, all my family work minimum wage-ish jobs, and BIL is quite snobby about it.

I cant be the only one, can I?

OP posts:

gillybeanz · 20/02/2018 12:34

Life

Yes, tbh I started work to save the taxpayer some money, but end up getting more from the taxpayer, can't seem to win.
It makes no difference to the taxpayer if I work or not, unfortunately.
However they will be free from the burden in 4 or so years when dd leaves school.

blueshoes · 20/02/2018 12:38

Beetle: it's intellectually dishonest not to factor other sources of income in too. Be that from the state or elsewhere.

I agree with this.

If you are low-waged by choice but being topped up by the state with benefits/tax credits, then someone else is supporting your lifestyle. Let's be honest about it.

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/02/2018 12:43

I would also question the poster who said she lived frugally as a SAHP to 3 DCs with a DH who earned £15k if that was truely their only income, as the CB and CTC entitlement on that wage would be fairly substantial, probably around £1k pm, making their actual household income similar to someone who earns a much higher wage.

blueshoes · 20/02/2018 12:44

Fifi: Exec: Well then you could finish early, play with your kids or grandkids, go out sailing once in a while and not have any stress
Fisherman: That's what I'm doing already.

The final response from the Exec is a staged answer to get to Fisherman's retort. It is a cliché, along the lines of nobody on their deathbed wished they spent more time in the office.

It disregards the fact that some people can get an enormous amount of validation, sense of achievement and fun (yes, fun) out of working in responsible jobs, in addition to money. That is not for the OP and others who like low paid jobs, which I get it and is fine. But it does not follow that the career-oriented person is living a futile and meaningless life.

SuperTimbs · 20/02/2018 12:45

It depends on numerous factors -
If you get tax credits / housing benefit / money from ex-husband or wife
If you live in a council house or rent privately - proportion of income spent on rent will vary
If you own your house outright /small v big mortgage
If you live in an expensive part of the country
If you make money from renting out other properties
If your DP makes a lot of money (and you share finances)
If your family help with childcare or you're paying £500 per month on nursery fees

Etc etc

SussexMedley · 20/02/2018 12:49

But it does not follow that the career-oriented person is living a futile and meaningless life.

I get a lot of goods and services that greatly enrich my life from other people...who only have such great quality goods and services to offer because they work so hard.

EveryoneLovesRaymond · 20/02/2018 12:57

I am studying at a more mature age because I want to earn a bit more BUT I still think the BIL should stay quiet and and not assume that his SIL and her family aren't happy because they haven't got loads of money. Everyone is different and what makes one person happy may not make another. My DH wanted a nicer car and he loves it but I don't get all excited when I'm in it.

safariboot · 20/02/2018 13:01

Charles Dickens had it write when he wrote

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen shillings and six pence, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

gillybeanz · 20/02/2018 13:02

Barbara

We have always been a low income family and have received tc and cb for 3 dc.
The tc was only of use when we were both working, before this it was a tiny amount and should be.
We were just very lucky that our outgoings were low.
We went for the smallest mortgage rather than the highest they would allow and have always lived frugally.
Most people with higher outgoings and debt of any kind couldn't have done it tbh.
Of course it's being supported by the tax payer but some people have no idea about how tc work.
If you do a calculation of 2 people earning rather than one, you'll find the amount doubles.
In years gone by we always got more when I was dh registered bookkeeper, than not working sahm

safariboot · 20/02/2018 13:02

Had it right, I meant. D'oh.

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/02/2018 13:17

Gilly But my point was that you claim to 'Until recently, we have managed to raise 3 dc on one min wage, before I started work' so you implied that it is possible for a family to live on a single NMW, ie around £15k pa because that's what your family did, but this is not strictly true as your CTC etc entitlement meant that your actual income was more equivalent to a much higher salary, probably about the same as if your DH earned around £30k, or you both earned £15k each, or any other combination.

Like another poster said, it is dishonest to say you are quite comfortable on your low wage because you simply cut your cloth, implying that others should be able to do similar, while failing to acknowledge that your true income is nowhere near as low as you claim it is.

gillybeanz · 20/02/2018 13:28

No, that isn't true though.
Work out pt nmw job and add on tc and cb it nowhere near equates to that sort of salary, it's a small top up not another wage.
This is where people go wrong, they believe that a low wage with a top up equates to a much higher wage and it doesn't, nor should it.
We managed because our mortgage was low, when interests were high we had to go off grid to afford our lifestyle choice.
We had no holidays just the basic, frugal lifestyle.
kids had second hand, very cheap phone payg, no debt or credit cards.
Most people wouldn't be able to survive on the low income and need to have both working, but that wasn't the position we were in.
I'm only arguing the point because it is false to assume that tc makes a big difference to income when there's a sahp.

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2018 13:29

It's interesting.

The only person I think who has posted they are low earning with no support from thr state or partner/parents is zaphod.

She's content and I believe her. However her lifestyle would cause many unease, she cannot heat her home in winter, she may lack basic nutrition for a week because she can't afford to eat a varied diet, but she's happy to live like this and takes pleasure elsewhere.

So clearly a very small minority are content.

I do wonder though, for those financially supported by the state or partner, if that support was withdrawn would you still be so content? Like zaphod? Where you couldn't heat your home during the winter months, or couldn't afford to eat properly? Would you still be saying you love it?

phoenix1973 · 20/02/2018 13:34

Not if the job is poorly paid and you're poorly treated.

blueshoes · 20/02/2018 13:35

Zaphod can do that. She has said she has no dependents and presumably has some fallback since her dcs earn good money.

I would consider it fiscallly irresponsible to not go for a higher earning wage if I had a family to support.

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2018 13:43

Blue shoes, I agree, but I think though even with no dependents, many would struggle to live as zaphod does. I'd personally struggle with being unable to heat my home for example, so would impact my contentment.

Zaphod is happy, no doubt, my point is many of us would not be so happy with this lifestyle.

Agree though, and she says so herself, she wouldn't do it if she had dependents.

gillybeanz · 20/02/2018 13:45

blueshoes why?

I don't understand why a lot of money is important.
If you can meet your basic living costs how does this impact on ability to raise children?
I'm not saying you are wrong btw, it's each to their own.

We are planning to manage on a small income when our last dependant leaves school. I can't imagine what it's like to manage more money than we need. I look at house prices and salaries of good earners and I honestly can't imagine what I'd do with the money.

What I'm trying to say it's horses for courses, not trying to be difficult.

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2018 13:46

I'm only arguing the point because it is false to assume that tc makes a big difference to income when there's a sahp

I can't talk about a two parent family, but a woman posted yesterday trying to work out her entitlements if she left her husband, and with two kids her credits accounted to 1700 a month with a further 200 on child benefit. She had stated her earnings as between 11k and 16k. This is indeed equivalent to another wage and close to 30k a year gross.

I don't know what it is with her husband and her still together and him not earning, but I'd assume it was similar.

Yawnyprawn · 20/02/2018 13:48

Op you are absolutely right. I'm also a support worker, took training and a hefty pay cut to do it, and have never looked back. I'd rather earn my money doing something worthwhile than waste my life feeling bored just to pay for a bigger telly.

Bluntness100 · 20/02/2018 13:48

blueshoes why?

I will let blueshoes answer, but I'd guess because she can't afford to heat her home in winter and sometimes can't afford to eat properly.

Gottagetmoving · 20/02/2018 13:51

Money can make life easier but it doesn't necessarily make you happier.
I often wonder why people equate success with lots of money or a top job. Success is being content, loved and happy, whatever your financial circumstances

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/02/2018 13:54

I'm only arguing the point because it is false to assume that tc makes a big difference to income when there's a sahp

I'd say that topping up £15k to the equivalent of around £30k is quite a big difference.

If you use the government tax credit calculator for 1 parent earning £15k pa, one a SAHP for 3 DCs, they would get around £800 every 4 weeks in WTC and CTC, which, added to the £15k salary, is equivalent to the take home pay of a salary of around £30k pa.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 20/02/2018 13:55

But having a little extra income makes life so much easier. We can put the heating on whenever we want. The oven breaks down we get a takeaway. If the car breaks down we get a taxi. Etc.

There can not be any pleasure in being frugal.

InDubiousBattle · 20/02/2018 13:55

Gilly I suppose what i'm saying is that a nmw job doesn't meet the basic needs of most people. You would struggle to get a LL to rent to you and struggle to save the deposit and fees even if you did . A mortgage would be out of the question. Zaphod has said that her basic needs aren't in fact met- she doesn't have heating and sometimes doesn't eat well. I honestly don't see how someone could raise 3 children on £15k and have everyone's basic needs met.

mimibunz · 20/02/2018 14:00

As long as you don’t rely on the public purse to top up your finances.

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