To think my adult DSD can look after our DN's?

[upsideup]

You may of seen my thread from a few days ago where I explained we our looking after SiL's and BiL's 5 DC for a week in the easter holidays, we got a lot good advice on what we should do about expenses and have decided just to leave mentioning money to avoid causing a problem.
However we now have a new issue, we mentioned that as we have DSD22 and her BF staying next door and 9 children is a lot between two adults and the age range is so big (3-15) we were planning to split up so me and DH take the younger ones somewhere and DSD and her bf take the older ones somewhere or the other way around. Response was that neither feel think they are comfortable with my DSD or her bf looking after their children alone! DH has said just to agree and not mention it again, then when they come just let dsd and bf help and pretend we didnt remember them saying they werent okay with it.
DSD is my step daughter from a previous relationship so is not DH's DD. I have known her since she was 4 and DH since she was 12 and she has been around and looked after all our DC since they were babies, her bf is our next door neigbours DS, we have known him and his family for 4 years and again has been around and looked after our DC many times.

We are definately beggining to regret saying yes but flights are already booked and me, Dh and our DC are looking forward to seeing our dn's/cousins, also cancelling will likely cause a huge family arguement which we just dont want to risk.

Aibu to think they are being ridiculous and just trying to make it difficult for us? Or would you not feel comfortable with the arrangement we suggested if it was your DC?
Should we make a fuss and try and reason with them, just let dsd and bf look after them any way or accept there wishes and try and manage on our own?

I would have thought the 15 year old is old enough to watch the others, with the help of the 13 year old.

When you said your dsd would take care of the children, were you clear about the level of responsibility she would have? There’s a big difference between taking them out to the cinema/ staying home with the teens while you take the little ones to the park, and taking full responsibility them all day/ having them to stay overnight, for example.

In your situation I would do as much as a whole family (incl DSD and bf as extra pairs of hands) as possible. And if you do need to split the group with some staying home and others out, or going to seperate activities, then you and DH split up and take seperate groups, with DSD/bf helping either of you as necessary.

steff13

I wouldnt put that on her as she dosnt have much experiance being round young children but you would think so, I can't imagine the concern of a 22 year old you have met many times and is a close relative to your DN's taking a few preteens/teens to the cinema or staying home with them for a few hours. DSD has looked after our 3,4 8 and 10 year old alone and been absolutely fine.

Saturnday

We were pretty clear, we suggested dsd and bf could stay home with the older ones while we took little ones to soft play not giving dsd and boyfriend all nine of them overnight. But thankyou we are just going to split the group so either me or DH are with all the kids at all times which is stupid as I'm sure DSD and Bf would rather be together and are perfectly capable on their own, they are both grown ups and shouldnt need another grownup supervising them.

I lost the will to live on the other thread, but how are you planning to transport 9 DC? Surely you need more than 2 cars anyway. Do the older ones actually want to spend all of their holiday with the younger ones? My 15 year old will be spending her Easter holidays revising for her GCSEs and would loath being dragged around with parents and much younger ones. Can't the older ones do their own thing?

We have got two cars, there are six of us anyway so DH has a 7 seater and I have a five.
Well if the older ones are not able to do something different supervised by a 22 year old old, I doubt they will be able to do something different on their own.

Odd that they wouldn't be ok with your SD looking after them for a bit, especially as it's the older teens aswell. What reason did they give?

Did they think you meant overnight?

It’s really quite easy - get in with your in laws and explain your situation. Then tell your BIL and SIL who you are basically doing a favour for that this is the situation and if they want the free child care, put up and shut up. Be clear and don’t lie. It’s then their choice if your nieces and nephews actually come. You’ve given a solution, it’s up to them to choose.