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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask when you realised you were ready for a baby?

20 replies

ImBlueDabaDeeDabaDa · 18/02/2018 12:58

My H2B and I are getting married in October and have decided to try for a baby straight away. I cannot wait!!
I find myself looking at baby clothes online (under the disguise of looking for presents for a friend's baby), researching nursery costs, checking what our school catchment area is. I just can't stop thinking about the tiny toes and tiny clothes!
I went food shopping today and found myself feeling broody over pack up food! I just can't wait to pack up their little lunch boxes with little pots of grapes and tiny portions of cheese.
Part of me is worried if I'm ready as I'm not looking forward to the lack of weekend lie ins and sleepless nights. How did you know you were ready?

OP posts:

AnUtterIdiot · 18/02/2018 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClaryFray · 18/02/2018 13:00

Life is a funny old thing. Go for it. It'll turn out right in the end. You'll see.

Bodicea · 18/02/2018 13:01

Pretty much as soon as things got serious with dh.

Shutupanddance1 · 18/02/2018 13:01

When I had said baby ... tbh I don’t think there is ever a right time etc but me and DH got married and had baby 10 months later.. no regrets!

DioneTheDiabolist · 18/02/2018 13:01

I drank a bottle of wine while watching a documentary about decreasing fertility in women in their 30s.

GinIsIn · 18/02/2018 13:02

I’m definitely not ready. DS is 1 now!

OuchBollocks · 18/02/2018 13:03

I have a 3yo and a nearly 1yo and I'm still not ready and I still hate having my sleep interrupted, it doesn't matter how ready you are, interrupted sleep sucks. But I love my DC more than I love sleep just You may as well press on after your wedding. Just be extra careful until then, 3 of my friends got married with surprise bumps in the one year!

PastaSauceHoarder · 18/02/2018 13:08

Gosh I've felt ready my whole life. I've only ever wanted to be a mum!
In particular though I remember waking up early one morning and watching my then fiance (now husband) sleeping and thinking 'god I so want to start a family with this wonderful man'. I was actually around four weeks pregnant at the time and I didn't know it! We now have a beautiful eight month old girl and honestly couldn't be a happier family.
Good luck to you, I hope you and your partner get what you want soon!

Aorus123 · 18/02/2018 13:08

I was definitely not ready I had DD when I was 28 she is 10 months old now. No regrets. the hardest part of having a child is not the labour, money or looking after them. its " SLEEPLESS NIGHTS" at least for me it was like this. You are never ready to have a baby.

AnUtterIdiot · 18/02/2018 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Liskee · 18/02/2018 13:26

You’re never ready. But some people just click into a frame of mind along the lines of I want to do it, and this is who I want to do it with. If you’re there then go for it.

Sleepless nights, no lie ins and The Rest? Ultimately it’s all worth it

phoenixtherabbit · 18/02/2018 13:31

Just felt the time was right I suppose. In hindsight I dont think I'll ever be "ready" ds is 1 and I cannot wait until I start getting regular lie ins again.

vampirethriller · 18/02/2018 15:04

Ten years ago. So far it hasn't worked. Still ready and waiting..

throwcushions · 18/02/2018 15:14

I don't think you ever feel ready. Just dive in. Good luck!

Jaygee61 · 18/02/2018 15:18

When DH and I got married. I was 29. Unfortunately never happened.

Cornettoninja · 18/02/2018 15:48

I was late twenties when I felt ready and mid thirties by the time I actually had dd.

I was mid thirties when I realised that I would never have been ready for the complete hurricane that is my dd

0lgaDaPolga · 18/02/2018 16:00

I felt ready for probably 2-3 years before I got pregnant. Ready as in mentally ready but needed to get my ducks in a row before trying. I wanted to be married and own a house and know we’d be ok financially with me not working for a while so once we had those things done we were actually ready. Started trying a month after the weeks and got pregnant 5 months later. Now have an 8 month old and I’m happy we waited until the right time for us.

0lgaDaPolga · 18/02/2018 16:01

That should read weeks not wedding!

Areyoufree · 18/02/2018 16:02

I never felt 'ready', just really, really wanted a baby!

Twocatsonebaby · 18/02/2018 16:07

I met dp and realised I wanted children with to be married to him within seconds. I didn't want kids before him. But I knew I could have a family with him. I trusted him.

So a year in we decided to try. We concieved within a month.
Now this is a bit sensitive and I do not wish to cause upset. Around 3 weeks into the pregnancy my brother hanged himself. His third attempt which triggered terrible ptsd with me. Survivors guilt and wanting to commit myself. I was so stressed and abusing myself which was incredibly selfish. I had a little life inside me and I had no choice but to terminate. My dp wanted the baby but convinced me I was in no fit state and it scarred me. I regret it. I feel ashamed of it and I think of that baby daily. I'm so depressed by it which is selfish. That baby would be 2 next month :(
But then we decided to try again and it took a year to have dd. It just felt right too despite grief after that.

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