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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how on earth this will work? Relatives coming to stay and room allocation...

53 replies

AjasLipstick · 18/02/2018 11:43

Dh and I live abroad with two DD;s in a three bed house.

We have my Mum and my Aunt coming to stay in a few months. It's a long way for them to travel (to Oz) and so I do want them to be comfortable especially since they're both in their early 70s.

I am happy to give my Mum mine and DH's room and so is he....DD2 is 9 and is happy for my Aunt to have her room.

That leaves only the dining room for DH, DD and I to sleep in. It should be ok...the only issue is that there are two doors to the dining room...one of which leads to the kitchen and the other to the living room which then leads to the hallway.

Is this an utterly silly plan? Should we be looking for a camper van to borrow instead?

I suppose I am worried about us all being on top of one another...though we have a large kitchen diner plus the sitting room as common spaces....and then the garden is big too...and since we're in South Australia, it will be warmish (Spring) when they come and there's the option to sit outside.

I could try to get a big sofa bed to use for DH and I and something smaller for DD....any advice or ideas?

They can't stay in a hotel or similar as they won't be able to afford that with the cost of flights and spending money.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 18/02/2018 13:03

Have your mother and aunt use your daughters' rooms. The girls can sleep in your room or wherever else is easy.

ShatnersBassoon · 18/02/2018 13:06

I agree that they'll be expecting to share a bed. They know you have three bedrooms. If it were a problem, they'd have booked hotel accommodation.

honeylulu · 18/02/2018 13:09

If you can get two singles into the girls rooms i would have mum and aunt share one and the daughters the other. It makes most sense that as a couple you share the double room as the bed is wasted if only one person is in it.

If anyone has to sleep downstairs can you make the sitting room into a temporary bedroom and use the dining room as a sitting room (since there is also a kitchen diner for mealtimes)?

Lemongingertea80 · 18/02/2018 13:09

I would put your DM and aunt in the kids rooms, the kids in the dining room on camp beds and stay in my room with dh! Kids find camp beds and temp sleeping arrangements exciting.

Growuphelen · 18/02/2018 13:11

I would stay in your double room, then give mum and aunt a bedroom each, or share if you can get two beds in one. DDs can sleep in with you on airbeds or in one DDs room. Or DDs downstairs.

Sprinklestar · 18/02/2018 13:12

How long are they staying for? A couple of weeks, suck it up. A couple of months, you need to rent them somewhere or get a hotel.

AmericanEskimoDoge · 18/02/2018 13:14

The logistics depend on the size of the rooms and the people involved, but a good air mattress can be surprisingly comfortable, if you don't want to spend the price of a sleeper sofa.

The ones we have are fairly thick/tall, too, though might still be better for the able-bodied and relatively spry. Once you're down on the mattress, it's fine, but getting down and up could possibly be difficult for older bodies.

They can also be easily stood up and leaned somewhere out of the way, during the day. (Or the air let out altogether, though airing it up every night would be tedious.)

runningoutofjuice · 18/02/2018 13:19

If they were staying in a hotel they would probably share a room so I would just confirm they were ok doing the same at yours. Dds in one room, guests in the other, you stay where you are.

Booboobooboo84 · 18/02/2018 13:25

With the age they are the probably grew up sharing a bed. I would def have the 2 dd share a room and give over the double to aunt and Mum

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 18/02/2018 13:26

OK, they can't share as my Aunt has a chronic cough and it will make them both very uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Original poster
AjasLipstick · 18/02/2018 13:28

Also to clarify....I don't want to make my older DD give up her room. She's 14 and very introverted and anxious. She will be all over the place without that safe place...DD2 would however love to share the dining room with DH and I....she's always trying to get in with us anyway. If we made up a small bed for her in the same room as us she'd be very happy.

OP posts:
Sugarpiehoneyeye · 18/02/2018 13:37

Sounds fine, it's only for two weeks.

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 18/02/2018 13:47

More like three probably Grin

OP posts:
DeathStare · 18/02/2018 13:51

Well if you think it will work for you then go for it. It would never work for me, but you're not me.

To be honest I think two people coming to stay in a relative's three bedroom house and expecting to be given a separate bedroom each because of an annoying cough is downright unreasonable . Either suck it up and put up with the cough or come separately or find somewhere else to stay.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 18/02/2018 14:02

Can you put your mother downstairs in sitting or dining room on fold up bed and then dd2 in with you.

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 18/02/2018 14:08

I keep drip feeding! Sorry.....this is Oz...our house, like most here is on one floor.

I don't want to put my Mum or Aunt in the dining room or sitting room as both have two doors to them...making them less private as they come off the kitchen.

I don't think they'd be able to relax you know? They'd be thinking someone might walk in when they were changing etc.
Death nobody is expecting anything....I'm trying to work out how to make them most comfortable.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 18/02/2018 14:15

Personally, I think you need to have a big talk with your eldest. Yes, she may be an introvert, but sometimes in life we need to do things for other people, especially family, that we may not be thrilled about. If she needs quiet time, she can use your bedroom any time she wants to. Having people sleeping in a dining room for 3 weeks will make your entire house chaotic and uncomfortable, and it's totally unnecessary. This would be a very good life lesson for your daughter.

novalia89 · 18/02/2018 14:19

I think I would put your daughters in one room and mum and aunt in another. I wouldn't get a blow up bed, they need blowing up. (Although my mum and dad slept on one for 6 weeks, one that is the same height as a double bed). You could look at getting two single beds, or a bunk bed for the girls.

You could buy a second hand caravan if you can afford it, because you could sell it for the same price as you bought it.

novalia89 · 18/02/2018 14:22

Sorry, I read it as they were staying for a few months. If it is a few weeks you will just be able to put up with the awkwardness of moving around everyone. Failing that, a tent for you and your husband?

NailedOn50 · 18/02/2018 14:25

This is time to teach your eldest DD a life lesson.

Notevilstepmother · 18/02/2018 14:42

How about you put your mum and your DD in your room, I don’t see any issue with her sharing with her own grandmother, coughing Aunt in DD2 room, you and DH in the dining room or living room.

Sofa bed if you think it will be used again and you have room for it, or blow up mattresses if not. You might be able to borrow mattresses of neighbours or friends?

Notevilstepmother · 18/02/2018 14:44

If you get blow up mattresses you can get electric pumps for them, much easier.

GingerIvy · 18/02/2018 16:28

Having 2 children with ASD and anxiety, I completely understand the need for your DD to have her safe space intact. Mine wouldn't cope with their safe space intruded on.

It's quite stressful having extra people in the home - that safe space is important for them to retreat to.

RemainOptimistic · 18/02/2018 16:35

Great life lesson - oh DD your needs don't matter Hmm

Fgs why are people so down on introverts. We can't help the way we are wired!

Perendinate · 18/02/2018 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.