to be at the end of my tether with potty training?!

[lalalemon]

DD is 28 months, we are on day 6 of potty training.
She refuses the toilet and is obviously scared of it. Fair enough.
So we've been using the potty.
Except we've not really. She has finished maybe 12 wees on it since we started.
She knows when she is going to wee, She tells us she is going to wee and she runs to the potty and wees next to it!
We know she can do it as my Dad had her for 3 hours on Friday morning and she did 2 wees and 2 poos in the potty for him.
She also will sit on the potty to 'try' if we ask her.
We've tried everything, rewards, telling her off, telling her its ok, leaving her to do it herself and not prompting, reading stories whilst she sits, letting her watch tv, eat snacks etc whilst she's sat.
I can't take it any more and neither can my carpets.
But she is also refusing to have a nappy back on, and I don't want to put one on her as she obviously knows what to do, she just won't do it!
She's got to go back to nursery tomorrow and I just don't know what to do!

It used to be that some people wouldn't change the child the minute they had an accident, to let them feel how uncomfortable it is having wet pants. I think maybe if you have tried all other options to give this a shot. I know it's not ideal but it would let her see the potty is a better option

Maybe give her a choice- potty or nappy. If she doesn’t want to wear a nappy, she has to use a potty.
Alternatively absolutely ignore any accidents- if she wees on floor, clean up but don’t acknowledge it. Make no comment. Any attempt to go near potty- amazing. Biggest fuss ever.
Do you have a doll and doll potty? It helped us.
Although, I’d probably just go with back in nappies for a month and try again. When they are ready it just happens. Readiness involves psychologicaly as well as physically.

My DD used to do similar, she would sit on the potty and do nothing then stand up and wee or poo next to it then one day it just clicked. This was around her second birthday so a similar age to your DD. Keep going, she might do better in nursery with other kids going to the toilet etc. I got a few potty books for children from Amazon and they seemed to help. Good luck!

If she's weeing next to the potty can you put down an oil table cloth under the potty to catch spills?

I'd send her to nursery with a lot of spare outfits and put a wash on when she gets home.

Or she may be better at nursery like she is with your dad

She isn’t ready. YABU for carrying on but yanbu for being fed up. Toilet awareness is a stage BEFORE actual ability to be reliably dry and so many people start potty training at that point. It’s a waste of time and can introduce all kinds of stresses associated with pee and pop that can carry on.
Please just go back to nappies or even pull up ones and if she asks to pee in potty let her but take all expectation out of it and be prepared for her being closer to 3 than 2 to be ready. Then she will be dry within 2/3 days or a week tops.

I tried umpteen times with my DC, and he was doing similar to your DD. Was pregnant at the time so gave up and put him back in nappies. A few months later he I said he no longer wanted to wear nappies and that was that. Straight onto the toilet and only a handful of accidents. Maybe she’s just now quite ready yet?

Just *not quite ready yet.

Agree with the not quite ready yet. Don't put the potty away but sounds like my DD and we didn't take nappies away completely until 2 months before third birthday in the end. No accidents and tells us when she needs the loo always.

I agree with PP. She's not ready yet. When they are ready it should be a quick and easy process. I tried potty training my dd at exactly 2 years old and she repeatedly wet herself and got upset about the potty. I waited a few months and when I tried again she "got it" straight away and it took less than two days for her to be potty trained. The delay of those few months was vital. My friends had similar experiences with their children.

Leave it a month and try again. It sounds like she's not far off.

YABU

Day 6 is absolutely nothing.

Potty training can take weeks, months, even years to be completely perfected.

2 years 4 months is still very young and she doesn't sound ready.

Put the potty away, insist on a nappy and try again in a few months. It will save you and her a whole lot of stress and aggro.

Starting when they are older and definitely ready, and nailing it quickly, is much better than starting when they are not ready and forcing it and taking absolutely ages with a lot of accidents.

Potty training can take weeks, months, even years to be completely perfected

Well it shouldn’t. If it is taking long then you’re doing potty timing- learning yourself to notice signs and getting them to the loo or potty on time hence all the accidents when YOU miss the signs. If you’re actually ready to come out of nappies then you know yourself when you need to go and have the physical maturity to hold it in etc and so it doesn’t then take ages at all. Less than a week.

Honestly, I dont know why so many people rush this stage at all.

She sounds like DS. He HATED the potty, but he was ready to be out of nappies. I finally put a little stool next to the proper toilet and he just started using that (holding on and hanging his little bum over). Have you tried letting her use the big toilet?

I never used a potty for DS - just straight onto the toilet. I'd persevere for a bit longer then perhaps leave it for a couple of months

My DD refused the potty and insisted on using the toilet,we got one of those double seats with a small one inside.Years of never having a private per or poo paid off!
As others have said,leave it a few months and it will be less stressful in summer too.

I’m with PP, it’s too soon. I wish I’d left it a few months longer with DS (as a friend who’d done it twice before recommended and I ignored )

It clicked for him about 8 weeks after we’d started, but I suspect I’d have saved myself a lot of hassle, clearing up accidents and washing if I’d left it a month or 2.

My 3 year old (he is slightly delayed) knows when he needs to go for a wee.
But he will literally stay on the potty all day and just dribble wee constantly.
He doesn't quite understand to come of it when he is finished and go back on it when he needs to go again.
Ive stopped the training for now, but will try again in a few weeks.
I think that is what you need to do, give it a few weeks and calmly start again.

It took nearly two years to potty train my son. He finally got it at just over 4.
I was going out of my mind!

It’s early days yet. Give her a break.

My rule is if they don't get it in 4 days it's back into nappies then wait another 4/6 months.

Only thing I found was mine were rubbish with no bottoms on - bare bums they had wee's everywhere. As soon as I put them in underpants and tracksuit bottoms there was far less accidents.

If you are at the end of your tether, she will be picking up on that, even if you're trying not to make it obvious. She might not want to go back to nappies, but you could try pull-ups as a halfway house? Then she can take herself to the potty if she needs/wants to, but no stress if she doesn't.

I think you have forced it too early. I followed queues and understanding, we waited after a few light attempts.. It was clear they weren't getting it. Dd one was four, and it took two weeks with only a few nights accidents... Potty and loo in two weeks and one poo accident only. Dd two was about 3.5 same again two weeks.. No chasing round with potties etc.. But she has had more night time accidents.

Leave it op, this is why I think parents shouldn't be in the office rush to do it...

Yy all the waves, that's what we tried too.. My dd friend six months younger had understanding to be done at 2.5 and she was far more advanced child in many ways.

I'd stick with it. It takes longer than 6 days. And it's normal ( well it was for us!) for them to take to it and then refuse it and then take to it again.

If she's not keen on the potty you could shop for a more exciting one together - a law patrol/princess/ladybird one. Or tell her she can decorate your current one with stickers to make it hers.

In the meantime put a water proof table cloth next to the potty!

Read 'Oh Crap'. Excellent book on potty training.

I wouldn't tell her off or give her rewards though. Just praise her for trying.

Will nursery not help? We had a long weekend of making it to the potty about half the time, (she was telling us she needed to go and taking herself most of the time) but she really nailed it the next week at nursery as the staff were great and there were other kids doing it at the same time too.

YABU to go in moths at that age. That aside she just sounds like she's not ready yet. Our were PT a month after they were 3. One day, done. Couple of accidents in the next month, but just a couple.

*months.