to laugh like a drain at 'Ye Canny Shove Yer Granny?'

[PaleBlueWatch]

I've never heard it before but god, it's hilarious

DS came back from school singing it and at first I thought his teacher must be quite odd, but it appears to be an actual song

InfiniteCurves version of the worm song is the one I know

Cannae get my granny off the drugs

Ah....the classics

You should have seen the look my husband gave me when I was serenading the small child and I launched into "you cannae shove yer granny aff a bus". He'd never heard it before and was horrified!
I can never remember, does it have more verses? I feel it should.

And also, someone remind me how the singing kettle goes again?

We once had a full-on debate in our office about which granny gets shoved aff the bus. I was - it's always been your daddy's mammy whenever I've sung it!

Notlost it's Spout, handle, lid of metal, what's insiiiiiiiide the Singing Kettle?!

Spout, handle, lid of metal, what's inside the singing kettle!

We love the jeely piece song here.

The dts have been singing ye cannae shove yer granny aff a bus at nursery, and dts told daddy off, because he'd taught them that you cannae shove daddy's mammy aff the bus, and "that's wrong daddy cos you can!"

The only reason we still have a video player is to watch the huge amounts of singing kettle videos we have!

I used to sing this in school when I was younger (Scottish) and also the jeely piece song.

I remember the chorus of "ye cannae shove yer granny off the bus". I learned it on holiday from the resident entertainers at a lovely country house holiday place, and it was a much requested tune!!

Chorus:

Singing I will if you will so will I.......!

Growing up in the west of Scotland I thought I knew this song well until my dd came home singing all 5 verses including the one that starts -

Oh my granny has an awffy itchy vest (scratch,scratch)

Oo- I remember being confused as to which granny's house I was allowed to sing that at!

My mum sings this to my 5 year old, he loves it!

I assume you aren’t Scottish OP that you’ve lived this long without knowing it.

Are you aware of this one:

My Maw’s a millionaire (can you believe it)
Blue eyes an curly hair (can you believe it)
See her walkin doon the street wi her big banana feet
My Maw’s a millionaire.

There are more verses but you get the idea...

What about "Skinny Malinky long legs big banana feet"? Or "Here comes the Highland granny"? The latter was sung at school but most definitely not taught there. Rather rude

Not sure the OP is ready for Highland Granny R00t

My dad (Scottish) sang Granny off the bus and:

‘Spotty Muldoon, spotty Muldoon,
He’s got spots all over his face.
Spotty Muldoon, spotty Muldoon,
He’s got spots all over the place.’

My favourite song was always Sam The Skull. Anyone familiar? I even had the great pleasure in teaching it to my glaswegian husband. His favourite is the jeely piece song coz it reminds him of his upbringing in the tenements (although he used to get bread and sugar sandwiches thrown down - they weren't wealthy enough to afford jam).

You're probably right Thistle

I’ve googled spotty Muldoon and it was a song by Peter Cook. I think I just assumed it was Scottish and my dad sang it in a broad Scottish accent (which he didn’t talk with)

milton is that doon the Barras by any chance?

rednails

I'd know that red wrought iron entrance anywhere

Used to sing this one
never laugh when a coffin goes by
it may be your turn next to die
they wrap you up in a big white sheet
and throw you down 3 hundred feet
the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
they go in thin and come out stout
ooee ooee where shall we be in a hundred years from now

I was teaching the kids at nursery "ye canne shove yer granny aff a bus" recently for Rabbie Burns day.
They also loved 3 craws
&
Bogie lane
Was so much fun.

My DS loves singing this to my DM, complete with pushing actions. I think DM is a little bit terrified of him tbh!

My DH looked at me like I had two heads when I taught the kids the jeely piece song. It was my favourite song when I was a kid.