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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect dp to contribute more to household chores

3 replies

Shippers1987 · 17/02/2018 19:06

Right ... am I the only woman fed up of how little I feel my other half does in regards to general housekeeping stuff.

Background - we both work 7 hours a day 5 days a week commute time is very similar. We've been together 10 years and have a 5 year old. My dp works nights 6 months of the year 10-6. This is when the frustration really kicks in and he does very little due to struggling to sleep.

During this period he gives dd her tea after school, cooks tea for us maybe once a week, baths her twice a week. Takes the bins out, does the washing up 3 times a week max and occasionally does the grocery shopping.

Whereas I get dd up dressed fed in the morning, cook tea sort lunches for us all the next day. do all the dishes from the day, washing, ironing, cleaning, hoovering, general end of day tidying up, organising paperwork bills school stuff etc.

I am ok with doing more when he is on nights as I do appriciate it is hard to sleep and due to him picking up dd from school he only gets about 6 hours sleep.. I get about 7.5 after finishing everything.

What makes it worse is when I do clean/ iron when he's about he says leave it and sit down.. but doesn't do any himself so if I didn't there would be a bigger mess/pile to sort out at a later date.. I've spoke to him about this numerous times a d he does more for 2-3 days and then goes back to his normal self....as petty as it is it's really pissing me off and feelings of resentment are starting to creep in..

Is this pretty much the standard way of life for us females?

Ps he wasn't always this bad.. probably stems from when I was on maternity for 9months and at home .. that was 4.5 years ago!

However he is not all bad he does more general maintenance like decorating , fixing things 4 times a year or so.

OP posts:
Shippers1987 · 17/02/2018 19:09

Wow sorry for the long post that was a bit moany

OP posts:
Rarity75 · 17/02/2018 19:10

No you aren’t I’m fed up too. Mine works permanent nights 5 days a week and does absolutely nothing. I work 30hrs over 4 days a week and have no time to myself. If I’m not working I’m parenting, cooking or cleaning. And apparently according to him it isn’t clean or tidy enough. I’m very fed up.

Shippers1987 · 17/02/2018 19:12

Glad it's not just me rarity.. although worse for you if he moans it's not clean enough.. mine has very low clean/tidy standards which is prob why I end up doing it all.

OP posts:
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