Extreme use of language...AIBU?

[BlueLegume]

I’ve ponderered this for a while before actually posting and fully expect to be criticised. I’m fine with that. My gripe is the way our language or rather the use of it has become so extreme. By this I mean everything is either ‘amazing’ or ‘phenomenal’ or ‘devastating ‘, when in fact most of the time these words should be saved for really ‘amazing’ times or really tragic ‘devastating’ experiences. AIBU and grumpy old woman to think this is diluting the use of proper language and our actuall assessment of situations. I find it fascinating that people refer to everyone they see as ‘ absolutely stunning’ when most of the time they may look lovely but absolutely stunning is just simply an over reaction. I love language and embrace the fact words come and go in terms of fashion but I can’t say I’m a fan of this gushing misuse of extremes. Prepared to be criticised as I said - also understand it’s nice to praise people but my gripe is that there are so many other relevant words we seem to have massively dumbed down how we speak.

it irritates me when people on the phone, usually receptionists or call centre staff do this. "Can I have your date of birth please?"
"it's blah blah blah"
"PERFECT! That's BRILLIANT!!"

also, that shitty things are a "total nightmare".

"Bought a sandwich with mayonnaise by mistake"
"TOTAL NIGHTMARE!!!!!

At school, my teachers seemed to endless go on about using words other than 'nice', 'fine', lovely', to describe things and encouraged us to try to make our language more emphatic. Presumably, there is a generation or two who have experienced similar throughout their education and are now taking that to its logical conclusion in their later lives.

Personally, I think it's nice to hear a little enthusiasm about things - it's much more interesting to hear someone overdoing their descriptions than endlessly describing things as 'nice'.

No You Are Not Being Unreasonable. I use words that I don't generally read on here and I wonder before I type them if they make me sound like an old person. But I think we need to keep using unusual words otherwise our rich language will slowly become impoverished, as someone else posted upthread.

I work with someone who uses the word 'awesome' constantly. Drives me insane.

I'm also irrationally annoyed when DH announces he's 'in agony' - agony to me is unbearable pain where you can barely function. He used the word 'agony' to describe a splinter recently.

I suppose that hyperbole is better than a thumbs up emojji though! Or is it?

@SilentBob

I do quite enjoy his hyperbolic wallowing/drama at times. "Y ME?!" on snapchat with a picture of homework. We all get homework mate, get over it.

My pet hate is "decimated", but that's probably for another thread (that I completely like literally can't be arsed to start or find).

@ppeatfruit 👍🏻

Thanks demented, another great explanation of my gripe. I find myself wanting to question such as the sample you just gave re the date of birth, especially when they say perfect....of course it is perfect I gave you my actual date of birth, accurately. I suppose my gripe is extended beyond language or some degree in that I’m observing people’s reactions to circumstances that are pretty run of the mill, as in biting the wrong sandwich analogy, and responding in an extreme manner - as though they cannot cope. The reality being they seem to think it is impressive that they speak like this when it makes me cringe slightly. On a really grumpy day I have to admit to wanting to be brave enough to call people using the word amazeballs.... a whole other thread I’m sure but I really dislike it.

Silent

dementedma Yes! Our estate agents do this. Whenever I speak to them and give them the most mundane piece of information it is "perfect". So annoying.

I have also noticed a huge overuse of "stunning" on social media. Anytime anyone posts a selfie, even if they have no make up on, accompanied by snotty child, in their PJs, you can guarantee there will be at least one "stunning hun". Stunning! I can think of only one or two people I've met in my life who I would describe that way.

Awesome gets on my nerves. I know someone who thinks that it's 'her word' and that everyone is finding it really hilarious and cute when she uses for the fifty time that hour. It's not.

Having thought about it for 50 seconds, it's probably linked to the rise of social media. Communication has to be fast and make an impact. No time to type out how you're really feeling, and that there's a context, and nuances and so on, and who would read anyway; so you type, 'Devastated at this lasagne,' and wait for the avalanche of 'You ok, hun?''s to start.

And then everyone started talking like it too. YANBU though.

bigsandy; thanks again another example of my gripe. I do get it’s just learned behaviour but the ‘I’m literally starving’mentality and poor use of the word ‘rape’ as in bandying it about thoughtlessly just make me think if we have really become dumbed down.

I'm with you OP. And I don't think there's anything wrong with reflecting how we use language and what our opinions are on that.

I love language....think it's fascinating how it's used and how that changes.

Fwiw whenever anyone says something like a cup of tea is "awesome" I do find myself muttering under my breath "no, the universe is awsome"....

upthewolves Am I permitted to describe David Gandy as stunning? Perhaps he can be the benchmark we work from in order to give the word its self respect back?

apocolypse quite

ShegotBette I know what you mean about Social Media, It's one of the reasons I'm not on FB any more, it is so superficial and sometimes untrue!

I do find that on Mumsnet I have improved my grammar and spelling deliberately , so I hope my posts have become more thoughtful and pleasant to read!

Give or take a few typos!

I haven't really thought about this before, but YANBU. These words are not only hyperbolic, but also rather non-specific to the type of thing they are describing. That might indicate that, far from representing exciting developments and changes in language, they probably represent a narrowing of vocabulary. e.g. 'That food was awesome' rather than delicious, tasty, flavoursome, unctuous etc.

Bluelegume I had never heard of David Gandy but, having just googled him, I will allow it.

I think you're right to say social media plays a part in this. Extremes get you more attention. It's why people are getting death threats for pretty much anything these days.

And people think people will like them more of they post 'omfg literally took my breath away' on someone's mediocre selfie.

I like to joke using hyperbole though. It's just how language is right now ant it will change again in a few years.

I noticed it when Ebay first came to the UK. Brits would give a perfectly competent transaction 3 stars, four or five would mean a free gift or similar. But the Americans take top marks as a default and you can only lose from there. Not so much of an issue on Ebay or TripAdvisor, but when a fellow student got an offer from a top US uni on condition of a 90% average, it took the head of department to convince them that in 30 years none had ever had an average above 80 because a Distinction was 70%.

On the other end of the scale I nearly lost my PhD funding when my German supervisor saw a choice of 3 boxes - basically all fine, should be OK but there are issues to work on, should terminate funds - as he assumed everyone should be in the middle box. Huge panic at Research Council head office and I was gutted he thought I might not pass - until it became clear he hadn't meant that at all!

upthewolves , many thanks for the affirmation and here is to reinstating stunning to its rightful place in our language. Many thanks to all the posters who have made me realise I’m not alone or old fashioned and that I can still love language even though overlyhyperbolic reactions cause me to shudder slightly.

When I was a girl, back in the good old 1950’s and 60’s, Brits were known for understating. 'We had a jolly good time on our holiday’ might have been over doing it - or OTT.

"Am I permitted to describe David Gandy as stunning?"

No.

One a slightly more serious note I do wonder if people who get used to always being described as ‘absolutely stunning ‘ or react with ‘devastation ‘ are out of step with reality and how they would cope with a real tragedy such as a devastating earthquake, or if they were told they looked ‘alright?’. I Work with a girl who constantly describes her 4 yr old DS as an ‘absolute genius’. He’s also an ‘amazing footballer’ 🙄

Apologies insomniac