AIBU to be frightened by musical.ly?

[Pluckedpencil]

I had never heard of this social media app until today when a group of teens I teach came round. They did this cute little dance routine and uploaded. It was really sweet. They were telling me about musical.ly and I went to check it out. It links to your Facebook/Instagram etc. Within a few clicks I could see all my Facebook friends' videos and it is full of my under 16 year old relatives dancing their perfectly innocent little dance routines but all in short tops etc. It is basically pedophile heaven. I am sad because mostly it is innocent and harmless enough. But I can't help thinking a lot of warped old blokes will be looking at all this freely accessible stuff and some of these kids may have regrets later. You don't even accept people. It just assumes you want your FB friends to see this stuff... Aibu or paranoid? I just worry so much what will be out there in another 10 years when it is my dd.

Yeah, it's one that's come out of nowhere that links to other social networks. You should have a chat with your daughter about social media, and how it all can link together - she may not even be aware that her videos are being posted to facebook.

The app itself can be harmless with the right permissions - help her turn off the settings that allow it to post to her facebook, twitter, instagram, whatever.

I don't think its accessible to just anyone. Look at the permissions she's given to the app. Most likely she's allowed facebook and instagram to access it.

You can make the accounts private. But parents of under 16 should be routinely monitoring their children's phones/tablets. The rules in this house for musicaly include no bedroom shots, no pjs/dressins gowns rec. I don't allow belly tops or make up anyway so that's not a problem. I delete after discussion any that I think are too "pouty"

My dd is 2, she is thankfully not in on it yet! What I saw were all my lovely nieces and nephews, all my students who I'm friends with on Facebook, basically all the people in my phone book. You have to link in order to find your friends. The trouble is it seems most people let it assume you want your FB and people with your phone number to see you dancing in your crop top in your bedroom. Now, I definitely remember dancing and pouting in front of the mirror to the radio age 12, but I'd be frankly horrified to have a video of that forever on the internet. And then the other point is the safeguarding angle. Just because you let your second uncle twice removed be your Facebook friend, to me doesn't mean he should automatically see these videos. They are just so private, they make me cringe, I couldn't watch I had to turn them off.

Good rules giggly.

I did some online safety training last year. We were told that all the .ly apps were open to misuse and if being used by children should be heavily monitored.

If the child has a private account, then nothing is being shared beyond her friends which he/she must accept first. I also recommend that they use a name that isn't linked to their own, e.g. FizzyDrinks. Basically it's important we know how to vet this stuff.

Note that accounts are public by default so do check!!

So how come all the kids I know are there for me to see?

Live.ly is also scary. I checked that out when a friends 9 yr old daughter was posting on it. You can live chat and watch the kids live. They have no idea who you are.

@Pluckedpencil

Probably because they are children and don't think about these things. Remember, apps like this are about sharing and being social and while they give you the option to make accounts private, they put the onus on you to find out how to do it. I go straight into settings after installing any app or program and make the necessary changes. I didn't do that as a teenager.

Can't believe there is a whole series of .ly apps out there that I didn't know existed. And I am fairly young and fairly internet aware.
The net and social media are like the wild west. When are they going to put some basic rules in place, like all apps have to be set to private as default. Obviously the app will never choose to do that unless there's regulation. It's mad.

My daughter has it. I heavily monitor it, it's private, and it's not linked to Facebook, etc.

I am a bit shocked you are Facebook friends with your students though. To protect yourself, you shouldn't be if you teach them. Sorry if I mis read that?

I find Facebook scarier than musical.ly for little kids. Heavily monitored, musical.ly is more like my account I allow my dance mad daughter to do a few things on that are only shared with her friends, who I know.

A further level of protection is I don't let her do it in short tops, etc.

DD was on music.ly for a day and then I got freaked out. As far as I could work out only she and her friend were on it in a private group but suddenly she had 50 followers all of whom looked like very attractive 16 year old girls - Ariana Grande style. I couldn’t work out why these 16 yos would be interested in my 11 yo’s dancing. Then it clicked . So I took her off it.

I’m told if your friend doesn’t have the same privacy settings as you this can happen.

"I don't allow belly tops or make up anyway"

But children who do dance/drams/ cheer leading/gymnastics wear these things and paedophiles want children to look like children, so what they wear is irrelevant.

I would alert the schools that this might be a Website that they've overlooked. They do work on Internet safety with their pupils. My DD's IT teacher used to search the Pupils to see if they were putting themselves in danger. The Parents had given permission for that.

It's the weirdest of apps. Bin it off. No good can come from it.

" It is basically pedophile heaven."

Paranoid and clueless.

"warped old blokes" - whoever they are - don't need to look hard for whatever they're after. music.ly won't be their first stop.

My 12 year old is on the site. Before she joins anything I️ vet it and make her account private. I️ also check to see who's following her- so far all school friends and age appropriate.

Like most things these sites boil down to how you use them.

Why am I paranoid and clueless Lesdeuxalps*? Where do pedophiles go if it isn't to websites that allow private messaging using fake names to under 16s dancing in belly tops?
I'm hoping you know something I don't and it is all perfectly innocent and there are no adult men lurking there. I know most abuse is to someone you know, but this app seems to me a very easy way to groom children.

You're not paranoid and clueless. My first though on seeing it was it was perfect for pedophiles and my friend allowing her 9 yr old on it was naive and stupid.

Where do pedophiles go if it isn't to websites that allow private messaging using fake names to under 16s dancing in belly tops?

Is that a serious question?

It seems like you're saying most pedophiles do go to this website. There are many, many ways to contact and groom children. Why do you think that this website is "pedophile heaven"? It is nothing unusual or new. Profiles can be private or locked and there can be comments or private messages. That's pretty standard for a massive number of apps.

I think you're paranoid and clueless because you are frightened by this app. You aren't alone in your paranoia and cluelessness.

I work in IT and have advised LEAs and individual IT departments in schools. Some of the more stupid concentrate on blocking access to certain websites or online services. They try whitelists, blacklists, keyword blocking, safe browsers and other methods but none work and are actually self-defeating.

You have to balance access to the internet with usefulness. You (that's any home user) could easily block access to every website except wikipedia and w3schools. It would make the internet pretty useless. You can allow access to more but it becomes more dangerous. The same goes for so many aspects of life.

Musical.ly is no different to so many apps and what does that suggest to you. Not that you should be frightened but that you should educate your child(ren) on internet safety and you should monitor their usage until they're old enough to be trusted entirely (18, IMO).

Don't teach anyone to be frightened and you shouldn't be either. Just use it sensibly as you would any other 'thing' from snapchat to alcohol.

Dance/cheerleading etc that require 8 year olds to.wear ridiculous amounts of make and fake tan and outfits that are too revealing are not the group's that I want my dd to be part of.

I have never seen anyone dancing in their bedroom on facebook. The content the app creators actively encourage by examples on the home page just aten't the same. I'll just wait for the poledance.ly app to take a hold and then you can tell me what's the big deal, it's just like Facebook.