To ask if anyone has ever been helped by children's services involvement?

[Gammeldragz]

I am asking because I contacted a helpline for advice on a relative's circumstances and they advised they be contacted, which in the end I agreed to but after much deliberation. I had hoped there were other options but most services are only available if you refer yourself or a professional does, not relatives. I really want this person to get some help and it seemed like the only option, but a lot of people seem to think I will have just made things worse. If the person doesn't want help or assumes CS will just take their DCs away, is it just going to cause trouble and not help at all?

Children's Services isn't the same as Social Services, at least not in my area. They are there to support the family, offer parenting courses, 'signpost' to support groups and other services, etc. They don't have the power to take children away, but just like any professionals involved with children they will be able to alert Social Services if they see fit.

They do have outreach workers who will ask to come and meet the family to get an idea of support needs but it won't be compulsory.

Honestly? No.

I had some random woman come round a couple of times. She whinged about the mess, I tidied up for the next arranged appt., she then closed the case- and within a week we were back to square one.

Nothing even slightly resembling help or support was offered.

Don't get your hopes up!

It probably varies between areas and what the specific issue is. Also pure luck on what kind of SW your get. I’m not sure if children services is the same as social services but I’ve had SS involvement and it has been a MASSIVE help. Honestly I dread to think what our situation would be now without the suport they have put in place. Our SW is fantastic although it took several initial meetings with various assessor type SWs before we were assigned this one. The first few who visited were fine but one was quite strange and if he had been assigned as my SW I don’t think I would have been inclined to accept their involvement.

One thing that was made clear to me by my brilliant SW from the start was that she was helping us at a family support level (and not child protection) and I could ask her to leave and never come back at any time. I didn’t have to accept their involvement.

Philan - that's exactly what is needed, support. Children are not in any danger really and I don't feel she is a bad mother, but help and support is needed, if it would be accepted.
Family keywork /early help keywork would be ideal. Not necessarily a social worker.

Also I agree it's often a personality thing, a friend had keywork support and the first one really put her back up, they just didn't get on but another one was able to work well with her. I just want to see the person I love get some help...

On the children's side, I know lots of children and young people who have been helped, either because it improved the situation or got them out of it.

In most places social care is a part of children's services. Depending on what you passed on it's likely someone will assess the situation (usually with the family, unless there is an immediate risk). This can trigger different things - sometimes practical help like extra childcare/housing/benefits support or education like parenting classes. The worker will usually assess how co-operative the parents are/their capacity to change. If there is a risk to the child this can trigger social care involvement, but that isn't undertaken lightly. Mostly 'early help' services are preferred.

If you were concerned you did the right thing, it's important to speak up for children who don't have a voice.

Thank you Almostthere.
I have been a child of a chaotic home that could have done with support (once reported my own parents to SS as a teenager but never got help) and I really wish people had bothered to try to help us...
Issues include housing, debt and mental health (among other concerns) and support with those would be great. I tried to persuade them to get help themselves through official channels but it didn't go down well. However the person believes I reported them maliciously so I'm not sure they will be receptive.

How likely do you think it is that she would be receptive to it? TBH my first instinct when SS got involved (I didn’t ask for help, something happened that required them to be informed by someone else) was “Hell no!” I didn’t want SS in my life, I didn’t want the risk of them taking my children because I thought that’s what they were all about. I was terrified. I thought they would come in and dictate and I would have to do every single thing they said or lose my children. I complied with their first visits thinking they’ll see I’m doing fine and leave me alone but it was actually during these visits they asked what I felt I could do with some help for so it wasn’t them telling me what was happening, rather they were saying “this is what we can offer you, are you interested?” If I had said no, maybe they would have insisted but I was too scared to say no. Thankfully it all worked out well and we have really benefited from everything they put in place but if I had been oppositional from the start maybe things would be different.

I actually used to work with early help services so I have seen the good side of it, but of course I only saw the people who wanted the support...

OH xpost. That might make it a bit more difficult for them to access the help if they think it’s a personal attack on them. It’s very hard. It really needs them to want the help.

Philan I imagine the initial reaction will be similar to yours as she fully believes all they do is take kids away, this is why she hasn't asked for help for depression because her partner convinced her that if they break up he will take her to court and get custody because she will be deemed as unfit (He's a large part of the problem).

Problem is she's very depressed and inappropriate really negative place where everyone is against her and no one wants to help. Help that has been given by relatives and friends is promptly forgotten and the whole world is against her. That makes it hard to reach her and this was my last option.

"In a" not "inappropriate"

Children's services is the same as social services where I am.

They were involved with me because of my MH and my DS's disabilities. I found them intrusive and a lot of their suggestions were unhelpful (they had a poor understanding of our needs), but I just viewed it pragmatically and decided to jump through their hoops for the the sake of not antagonizing them, and also to get their support for the practical things that did matter - letters to help with housing/benefits/grants etc. That was the main thing that was helpful for me - getting rehoused and sorting out my finances, and it helped me grit my teeth through the rest of the useless stuff they offered.

cateye if that's all she gets out of it it will still be a massive help. A lot of the other issues stem from years of housing and financial worries. I tried to get her to ask for this help but she insisted they wouldn't help her, so if they would that would be amazing.

I've had ss/CS involvement recently. It was after a serious incident involving STBXH. I was horrified as I grew up with the idea that social services work with "rough" people and take children away. My mum was always scared of them too during Thatcher's witch hunt on lone parents, she genuinely thought we'd be taken into care if things weren't perfect all the time. But it wasn't that bad, they weren't worried about the general mess of 3 kids in the house and weren't intrusive. The main focus was my willingness to protect them and my basic capability to keep them fed, clean etc. They've advised since as the situation is ongoing.