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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tell me not to be a dick

26 replies

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 10:52

Went for a job interview, colleague got it but said I was 2nd choice and v little in it. Company who are based just next to us have asked to see me today to discuss possible further opportunities (I wouldn't want to take it if it meant working alongside this colleague, v small team at New company).

Said colleague is currently under HR investigation as they'd shouted at me and her line manager in the open plan office using expletives. they were accusing me, line manager and others of things and finished by calling us bitches (accusations unfounded and not true). They went off sick whilst posting in fbook about being hungover and went for the job interview whilst self certifying from current company...

I won a thing for the company next week which she played a small part in. As it stands she is still being allowed to go despite her rubbish conduct.

I am going to have to muster a lot of energy not to say to New company any of this as I'll just look like a dick.I have self control (didn't say anything when they phoned to tell me) but my word after said colleague then tried to embarrass me in front of the rest of the team, it's tempting I won't just need to rant

So yes tell me not to be a dick!

I'll chuck down a lighthearted as well!

OP posts:

Tapandgo · 16/02/2018 10:55

Are they wanting you to replace the person under investigation ~ sounds like she’s heading for the door.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 10:59

No the new company are wanting to discuss new opportunities if their budget allows it in the next financial year.

They're aware we work in the same office.

Said colleague also tried to psych me out with PA comments prior to interview e.g. can you even work full-time Buddha as a single parent? (Part time at the mo)

OP posts:

moofolk · 16/02/2018 11:01

Sounds like she's a dick. New company may have spotted this already.

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 11:01

New company unaware of any of this. Hence I would be a grade A dick and look bitter if I said anything when seeing them today.

OP posts:

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 11:02

No new company don't know any this. She's managed to sell herself well.

OP posts:

Tapandgo · 16/02/2018 11:04

Check out what the opportunity being offered is ~ you might be working well away from her. If it involves her then decline citing personal/professional reasons.

EBearhug · 16/02/2018 11:05

The only thing I would bring up would be to try and find out how closely you might or might not have to work with that person, without mentioning the history.

TieGrr · 16/02/2018 11:05

Not only would you be a grade A dick, but you'd probably put them off employing you at all.

OutyMcOutface · 16/02/2018 11:05

If I were you I would just be honest with them when you next meet them. Tell them that you are enthusiastic about their company but you don't want to work there is your ex colleague is there and explain why. Just ask them to keep them on your books in case they have an opening at a later date when she ha left-it may come sooner than you would think.

YetAnotherUser · 16/02/2018 11:06

Is she getting a good reference from her current employer?

mimibunz · 16/02/2018 11:07

Only if you are very unhappy where you are. I would be of a kind to take a pass but it depends on your circumstances. I’m not mentally or emotionally cut out to work with people like that. Good luck! And don’t be a dick, yet.

OutyMcOutface · 16/02/2018 11:07

Also you wouldn't look like a duck because they could verify everything with HR. You are trying too hard to be liked-this is one of the real causes of the pay gap. If you want this job you should go out and get it.

HanutaQueen · 16/02/2018 11:07

Not a lot of advice but I might have an interview coming up in a similar situation. If the person I'd be working with turns out to be the woman who bullied me 2 years ago I will be doing a quick U turn and turn the job down. If they insist on knowing why I will tell them but I'm not going to volunteer it unless they press for the reason although I'll make it clear the response will be on the back of finding out who the rest of the team are and in our business it doesn't take much to discover the links (so easy to see who it was that made me change my mind!)

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 11:10

We just so blank references. X person worked here from this date to this date.

Yup TieGrr you're right but my days how long does karma take?

On the plus side rest of the office glad I'm staying so nice to be liked!

Its highly likely any new opportunity would be based on that office and would involve interacting with her.

OP posts:

BookHelpPlease · 16/02/2018 11:11

I thought you weren't allowed to interview for new jobs if signed off sick?

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 11:12

As the investigation is ongoing I don't think HR can comment of asked by new company. It will just be dropped when she leaves.

OP posts:

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 11:13

BoolHelpPlease - I didn't know that - is that a company by company policy?

OP posts:

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 16/02/2018 11:18

Talk to them, see if they make you an offer, then take a view. If you don't want the job and she will be too involved then tell them tactfully. If you do want the job. Nothing lost. Alternatively you could watch and wait for her to screw the new job up too as personality will out, eventually. Then they've already interviewed you and will probably contact you. Hopefully either way you won't have to work with her again.

RandomMess · 16/02/2018 11:35

Does this mean you can get her full time hours where you currently work?

Talk to new company, say nothing, stbex colleague may fail her probation period and you get offered the job...

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 14:01

Thanks all, just arrived to see them. Will remain professional and will update if it all goes wrong

This job had a 10k pay rise on our FT salary. Unfortunately our full-time salary would mean I would lose quite a bit of money due to fill time nursery and loss of tax credits.

OP posts:

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 14:03

A small voice inside me is screaming tell them. The bigger one is saying keep professional.

OP posts:

Bluelady · 16/02/2018 14:06

Listen to the big one!

Glumglowworm · 16/02/2018 14:25

Talk to them about opportunities for yourself

Don’t bad mouth colleague. Not because she deserves anything from you, but because it makes you seem to be a bitter dick.

I’m not saying that’s true, but they don’t know you beyond an interview, so dont give them any excuse to write you off.

QueenOfGaviscon · 16/02/2018 14:36

Don't say anything and when she's managed out because of her poor behaviour they'll think of you as the shining beacon they should've recruited instead & May come back to you

Original poster

buddhasbelly · 16/02/2018 18:19

Kept it professional and did myself proud just talked about future opportunities for myself so no bridges burned and didn't mention colleague

OP posts:

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