WIBU to ask DP to move in to a shared house

[FakePlantsOnly]

DP and I currently rent a 1 bed flat for £775 a month plus bills; we're both on reasonable money but haven't always been and as such we also owe a decent amount of money-pushing £30k that we are paying back in monthly instalments off of loans and credit cards.

I've been trying to find ways to save more money to clear the debts faster and then start saving for a place of our own.

The place I've found gives us a room in a house where the only other person in the house will be the owner- the room rents for £475 a month leaving us-after travel costs, phone bills and food and such with just over £1000 between us which is more than I've ever had to play with. I would use this to clear my debts faster and start saving for a house.

This would be for-at most-3 years. My question is, would you find any of this unreasonable?

Sorry for the long post-I'm trying not to drip feed.

I don't think it's unreasonable. Loads of couples do this. I think you should consider how you would feel sharing, though. It's completely different than living on your own. You will have less privacy. I haven't shared in 5 years and I would find it difficult going back.

You’re not unreasonable to ask but he’s not unreasonable to say no. I wouldn’t want to live in a shared house.

Is it more complicated than it initially appears...if the rent is £300 less, does that mean you could still potentially save £700 a month at the moment?

YANBU to ask but I wouldn't want to go from my own place to a flat-share unless I had no choice.

My privacy is massively important to me - I like coming home and just being able to do what I want without being considerate to housemates or anything like that.

By all means ask, but be prepared for him to say no.

The £475 is all bills included so that plus our phone bills, petrol, the car payment and food is £935, at the moment we pay that for rent, council tax and food.

The maths I've done has us making massive payments off the credit cards so debt repayment comes to a total of £970-horrendous I know, we were young a stupid.

That leaves us with just under a grand to save for a house/do whatever we want with, that may not be the most sensible thing to do but I've lived the last 6 months with £30 to last me the entire month so a little bit of spending money is a dream.

We can easily afford to save £500 a month for a deposit and still have money to live our lives which we don't do now, we never go out, we never eat out and we never go on holiday.

Thanks everyone for your help so far

You’re absolutely mad to be saving for a deposit while you’ve got so much debt. Think of what you’re wasting in interest and having so much owed will mean you will struggle to get a mortgage anyway. Save a bit for emergencies but pay off the debt first.

Sounds like a good idea.
I’ve lived in plenty of house shares and some of those have included living with couples sharing a room. They were doing it to save money for a deposit on a house. Before my partner and I moved into our own flat, we lived in a shared place to save money before the birth of our son without any problems.
Some people have the option of living at home with their parents either to save for a deposit or to clear debts, but if this option is not available then it makes sense to move into a shared house.
If your partner isn’t keen then you could maybe see if he might be more receptive to the idea if you mainly seek out sharing a smaller two bed place with another couple or mature professional. Living in a massive student-y type house share where the other people have radically different lifestyles (ie parties) might not be worth the hassle!

Just to reassure you with the right people and house it can work
I’m the opposite, home owner, single, teenage son and was struggling financially.
So I let out the master bedroom with an ensuite to a young couple.
They’ve been here 6 months now, we often don’t see each other for 4/5 days in a row and everyone gets along fine :)
The financial saving makes it worth it 100%

I don’t think it’s mad to do what you’re doing, I assume you have everything consolidated to zero interest or at least the lowest possible? I’d want to do it if I was him.

That is a lot of debt so paying it off should be a top priority, higher than privacy. your plan sounds good.

It depends how big house share is. I’ve spent many years in them just one room. As single person not a couple and double amount of stuff. I ended up spending fortune at evenings weekends just to be out of the 4 walls. If your landlord spends hours in kitchen or has people around a lot it can be hard to even cook meals, again meaning more meals out. If there’s no garden and you have dry all washing for two people over a tiny radiator because landlord has one airer in bathroom that constantly has their stuff on, you guessed it more money at laundrette.

So if you move, even with the debt repayments, you'll end up with a thousand pounds to play with each month?

I don't understand why you wouldn't use that money to get rid of your debt even faster? I wouldn't want to take on a mortgage with a big debt hanging over me as well.

If your partner is up for it, by all means move to a house share, but why on EARTH would you not use what you're saving each month to get rid of your debt? Unless it's interest free, debt is expensive - it's in your best interests to get it paid off as quickly as possible.

I know a lot of people who have done it to save money but I also know that me and DP would have found it too difficult and gotten on each other’s nerves far too much. We lived with his parents for 3 months to save money and found that we spent quite a bit ignored money going out at weekends as we wanted to get out of basically being in one room.
I would talk to him about it but if he says he doesn’t want to then you have to respect that.

I would move and pay the debt off first and then start saving

You're not unreasonable to ask but I would never consider living in a shared house with my husband, I'd much rather find a cheaper/smaller place for just the two of us.

Yes, unless all that £30k is interest free then I have no idea why you would keep £500 back for a deposit when it could go towards paying off the debt.

It's a sensible idea. DH and I always lived in shared houses rather than a self contained flat before we bought our home, because it was much cheaper. You do lose a lot of privacy and sometimes flatmates can be a pain, but as we were saving towards a deposit, renting a place of our own was too much of a luxury. We bought a flat a few years ago and lots of our friends are still renting and can't see how they will ever buy. I agree though that you need to focus on the debt first before saving, as it will impact on being able to get a mortgage anyway.

Number one priority: reduce your expenses, so yes, move into a shared house. 2. Make sure you pay all your bills / meet minimum payments on all your debts. 3. Pay off debts with highest interest rates (quite likely credit cards), 4. Once all your debt has been paid off, start saving for a deposit.

You're not honestly suggesting saving for a deposit while still paying off your debts are you? It makes no financial sense whatsoever. With the exception of student loan I personally would clear all debt before looking at getting a mortgage.

You don't mention age - how old are you both?

You need to clear the debt before saving; check out money saving expert for explanations on what debt to tackle first etc. It will be a huge weight off your shoulders, save you interest and increase the likelihood of you getting a mortgage (you have to declare any debt when applying and this will effect what you can borrow).

Do not see that £1000 as "money to play with" - take the view that it's already been spent, and is now costing you interest every month!

Set up a direct debit straight after you get paid, and then do little extra overpays when you can (e.g. if you sell something on ebay / use a voucher to save some money, pay that £5 off your debt).

We lived in a shared house for 3 years (with a friend) while my partner re-trained and while we saved the deposit for our flat. It was fine overall - good fun at first, a bit frustrating for the last year, but we had a few weekends of camping to get some private time together.

You need to pay the debt off before saving for a deposit, you won't be able to get a mortgage on when you are carrying that much debt anyway. You need to throw every penny at the debts until they are gone then start saving. Savings rates are awful at the moment but you could be paying 15%+ on the debts so that doesn't make sense at all.

Sounds like a good idea. Get those debts paid off ASAP, £30k is a crazy amount of unsecured debt to have hanging over you.

Is it joint debt or debt incurred by one person?

What everyone else said - pay off the debt first, then start saving. You'll be able to save more when you haven't got horrendous interest payments hanging over your heads and slowing you down. You should think of house buying as a six year plan from where you are now - basically, the amount of time covered by a credit check. You want your credit history to be as clean as possible for as long as possible, and to be able to present your mortgage broker with six months of bank statements (if needed, usually it's three but they may ask more if your credit history shows a lot of loans) showing that you're in the clear and have no outstanding commitments.

Pay down the debt as fast as you can.

Yes, your priority should be the debt.

Thank you for all your help everyone. The debt is between us. I have an £11,000 loan and that includes all the interest on it while my DP has £12,000 again all interest included so I'll speak to my bank and see what they allow in terms of additional payments.

I then have £3000 on interest free credit cards for the next 3 years and I'm planning on at least doubling what I'm paying now. I'm not sure what my DP has on his.

I'm going to take all your advice and really knuckle down on paying the debt of first thank you all.

We're 24. The house share only has one other person in it who is the owner. Unfortunately because we live in the south east, cheap places in either of the towns we work in-this one would be in the town I work in-are hard to come by and still start at £600pcm plus bills. Unfortunately none of our parents that live near us have any spare room, DP's dad does but he lives in the West Country.

I hope that answers all questions

Won't the outgoings on servicing your debts be taken into account by your mortgage lender, even if you manage to get the deposit together?
You really need to get the debt clear before you're in any position to take on more, I'm afraid.