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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague getting ANOTHER leaving present.

30 replies

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 15/02/2018 22:26

Around 4 months ago my colleague left our workplace to work within the same company but not in our office.

We had a whip around and gave a fiver each for her leaving present.

Anyway, she was gone for two weeks before coming back because she ''didn't like the new place'' so had been moved back.

She is now leaving again to a new job in a completely new place/role. Today one of the managers came around collecting money for a leaving present for her! AIBU to have refused to give the money considering I'd already handed the money over for her leaving 4 months ago?

OP posts:

FairVerona · 15/02/2018 22:28

I wouldn't give anything! Bit of a cheek expecting it.

Ragaroo · 15/02/2018 22:33

Don't pay up! Goes for maternity leave too: Baby 1, we go all out. Subsequent babies, we do a smaller collection etc. Considering our team is 80% childbearing women we can't expect the guys to be happy with paying for us to pop out kids. Same as this woman... buy her a cheap Good Luck card from you and leave it at that.

greendale17 · 15/02/2018 22:35

I wouldn’t give anything either

Pecano · 15/02/2018 22:43

I’d just get her a card, wouldn’t do another present. Do you think she’s expecting another leaving present??

Original poster

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 15/02/2018 22:58

Thanks guys, I don't mind signing the card or whatever but we've all already bought her a present when she left the first time so I just think its a bit much buying her something again.

She is the type of person who would expect another present for sure.

OP posts:

Original poster

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 16/02/2018 12:02

Okay, so our manager has been around again this morning to collect from people who weren't in yesterday. I was asked again if I want to contribute and 'join in' as if I'm being mean!

OP posts:

HollyBayTree · 16/02/2018 12:03

Just say "Sorry, I've made my own arrangements' and leave it at that

Jammycustard · 16/02/2018 12:06

She is the type of person who would expect another present for sure.

Fuck that.

Viviennemary · 16/02/2018 12:07

YANBU. She shouldn't have got a present last time since she was moving within the company. Say no sorry she might change her mind again. Then point will be made.

NotASingleFuckToGive · 16/02/2018 12:12

Two leaving presents in 4 months?!
Please make it a gift-wrapped boomerang.

Original poster

SpareChangeDownTheSofa · 16/02/2018 12:15

Please make it a gift-wrapped boomerang. Amazing.

I'm still refusing to contribute.
I don't mind the first one because even though she was in the same company she was going to a different site so we wouldn't have seen her again really. But she was only gone for 2 weeks! I think she should just remember her present from the first time she left.

OP posts:

Knittedfairies · 16/02/2018 12:27

'I have made other arrangements' meaning I am going to give her the yo-yo I got out of a cracker at Christmas which may still be on the doing room windowsill..

SpiderCid · 16/02/2018 12:30

I'm amazed you're the only person refusing to contribute.
I'd be saying no myself. YANBU

Counterpane · 16/02/2018 12:32

Knittedfairies: My mind is boggling at the thought of a 'doing room'.

mari652 · 16/02/2018 12:35

Ridiculous expecting everyone to do the big goodbye again and especially not collecting for another present. She should have taken the initiative to say ' would be nice to gave a quick drink together on my last day , but please no presents or cards, obviously, last time you were all so kind :) !'

Knittedfairies · 16/02/2018 12:40

Ha ha Counterpane rotten autocorrect! My mind is boggling too; it's got a lot of windows....

Babyroobs · 16/02/2018 12:43

It's like a colleague at my workplace , she got married and work had a big collection . It lasted about a year then they got divorced and she swiftly got married and had another big collection ! needless to say some people didn't put in the second time. It also happens all the time with people moving to another department and moving back again. Sometimes it takes ages for someone to organise a collection then they just receive the voucher or whatever two months after leaving, then come back a month later. One collection has been going for someone who has been off long term ill. It took so much time for the collection to gain much as people maybe just work 2 or 3 long shifts a week, that this person was back off the sick then it was embarrassing as there was an envelope sitting in the office with a few quid in and no -ne had taken responsibility for doing anything with it. ! we are a disorganised bunch !

WeAllHaveWings · 16/02/2018 12:52

You cannot blame the woman, sometimes internal moves just don’t work out, she probably has no idea if another whip round is being done for her or not. The manager should deal with it. A card would be appropriate.

BerylStreep · 16/02/2018 12:53

Easiest just to say you are making your own arrangements.

It's quite cheeky of the manager though, especially when you have already said no.

It reminds me - what happened on the thread where the poster was asked to join another team for dinner, then was told she needed to sub 5 birthdays, and 2 bits of pizza ended up costing £40 or something?

Nocabbageinmyeye · 16/02/2018 12:57

You surely can't be the only one to refuse? What did your manager say when you pointed out she's only just had a gift.

Yanbu!

FindoGask · 16/02/2018 13:11

This happened to me - I left my position and then returned two months later because it didn't work out at my new job. It was humiliating enough to have to go back, but I did feel guilty about having had a leaving present, and there were a couple of people in the office who made my life pretty difficult about the fact I'd gone and came back, though what it had to do with them I still don't know. Anyway that was two years ago, and I will probably leaving this year, permanently this time, and I've already said to one of my closer colleagues that I want to be able to just sneak out the back door without any sort of fanfare - I mean obviously I'll be handing in my notice etc, but I'll be asking my manager not to circulate a card/have a collection or anything.

LoniceraJaponica · 16/02/2018 13:25

"We had a whip around and gave a fiver each for her leaving present."

Wow. You must be well paid. People put in a pound or two where I work.

thenightsky · 16/02/2018 13:29

I once worked with a woman who came back twice! We named her Yo-yo Jones (not real name) in the end. The last time she left we wrote 'aye, go on, bugger off and stay away this time!' on her card. It was all in good humour though and she did state after the first return that she did not want any leaving fuss in any way shape or form.

sinceyouask · 16/02/2018 13:32

Considering our team is 80% childbearing women we can't expect the guys to be happy with paying for us to pop out kids

Thistlebelle · 16/02/2018 13:34

In her position I’d be rather embarrassed to get two leaving presents in so short a period of time.

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