SIL never asks our permission

[DSMEZ]

Whenever we invite my SIL over for dinner/lunch, she often will invite a friend over that she wants to see as well, but can't fit in her schedule. The problem is she NEVER asks us if she can bring a friend along. Would you find this annoying?

Message withdrawn

very annoying!! i would stop inviting her myself!

downright rude and very presumptuous of her, totally out of order.

Agree, very rude. I'd say to her, if you want to bring anyone with you, can you let me know first, please.

What can I say to her without soundling like a cow? My dh thinks its no big deal, but it really annoys me.

It is rude. I guess you have three options

Have it out with her

Dont invite her

Accept that she will always bring a friend but ask her to let you know in advance.

Actually, if its always the same person, are you sure it is just a friend and not her partner?

That's very rude. I'd definitely say something, like "I liked your friend, but next time let us know so we can get more food/tidy up better etc".

No its not the same person--always someone different. She has a dh who comes along too of course. Just annoying bc she is completely lazy as well, so will not get off her arse to get her friend a drink etc or help clear up.

Message withdrawn

She's as English as english can be..It's not so much of a problem--if and only if my sil would actually help out. she will literally sit there and tell me or dh to get up and get her friend a drink, etc.

Sounds very strange behaviour to me. Is she a lot younger than you and your DH?

she's a year younger--36, but very immature.

She sounds v annoying. Doesn't her DH get embarrassed on her behalf?

He's a new dh so still quite indulgent, but yes, he does get embarrassed.

that is so rude, even if it were a mutual friend. I think if I knew she were coming over I'd make a point of asking if any friends were expected and could she bring something towards the meal/drinks.

ok I've mad eup my mind seeing that everyone thinks this is annoying behaviour--I'm going to tell her to stop doing it. Should I do it in front of her dh so he knows too? Or is that too cow-like.

Do you get invited to her house?

Oh in that case I would say, its fine for you to bring an extra guest but I would appreciate some help

Alternatively all go out for lunch - I dont see why you should work yourself into a frazzle looking after everyone.

She does sound immature tbh.

actually, no. MOstly bc its so far away. She comes too London though to see her mates and my ILs.