Benefits of breastfeeding 'wear off' by 5

[greygal]

Had 6 week check for DS today with my GP. He asked all the 'normal' questions, including how I was finding breastfeeding.

I've been really lucky and had no pain, soreness etc and DS is gaining wait incredibly well so I explained that despite my longest sleep in 6 weeks being 4 hours in one go, I felt that it was going really well and felt positive about continuing.

He then launched into a rant about there being far too much pressure on mothers to breastfeed and that by the age of 5, any benefits to a baby of being breast-fed had worn off!

AIBU to wonder why the bloody hell we're all bothering (especially people who have cracked, bloody nipples/ blocked milk ducts/ mastitis etc)?

Is it true that there is no difference between a breast fed and formula fed child by 5 years of age?

What the fuck has this got to do with anybody else other than the mother.

I chose to breastfeed. I’m happy with my choice and don’t care if people deem it not sufficient. I don’t care if you bottlefeed, I don’t care if you breastfeed. I don’t care how you feel when you’re told X Y Z because you Xfed. It’s your own personal business, but don’t make other people feel bad about their choice.

Is your baby alive? Is it thriving? Great. Now shut up and stop feeling bad or good about your choice and feeling the need to tell others why they’re wrong.

I think you have a point @RebelRogue. I'm not convinced that I'd have stuck with BFing if I'd have found it difficult and if, for some reason, it all goes horribly wrong in the next few weeks, I don't know if I'd be able to continue so having formula as an option is, quite literally, a life saver in some cases, I imagine!

From my perspective, I am very pleased that I'm able to bf my son because I don't think you can really argue with (some of) the benefits and I also appreciate the simplicity of the fact that my body makes food for him and all I have to do is whack a boob out! However, we are fortunate enough to live at a time where there is an alternative and if things had worked out differently, I'd be thankful that I can still feed my ds something nutritious.

That doesn't mean that lots of the research being shared on this thread isn't interesting though and obviously people feel passionately on both sides of the debate.

I'm not arguing with the benefits, what I'm arguing is the derisory language that sneaks into conversations like this,consciously or subconsciously.
Like the bonding argument. Do people really believe that whether you put a boob or a bottle in your baby's mouth,as long as you love them and hold them and talk to them and cuddle them and do skin to skin the bond is any different?

Yeah @RebelRogue, I have to admit that I don't believe that argument at all. I have an adopted brother, who was never fed by my mother in either way and has the closest bond with her imaginable so that disproves it for me!

I would have been devastated if I hadn't been able to breastfeed. It shaped the way I parented for the years that I did it, and actually the older I get and the further away from that point in my life I am, the more I look back and feel grateful that I had that experience, and so did my babies.

Good for you. I do mean that sincerely.

But it wasn’t the be all and end all of what you did for your children, and so often on these threads it is painted as such. It’s disheartening for mothers who can’t bf or who don’t want to, and it makes so little difference really.

The doctor’s words were kind of irrelevant. If you were a mother approaching him with a sense of guilt over not being able to BF, I may understand but you said you were getting on fine with it so I’m not sure why he then proceeded to try rubbishing BFing. Doesn’t make sense.

I found breastfeeding really difficult. I tried my hardest to BF my first two DC but had A LOT of issues with latch to an extent my nipples were bleeding so I moved onto formula after the first 3-4 weeks. Third DC, however, never had any issues. She just sort of ‘got it’ from day one and I pretty much EBF’d her until 14 months. But it wasn’t easy in the slightest. I’ll never forget the endless growth spurts she went through where I could barely put her down to have a bath, she just fed none stop.

However it’s maybe worth noting she’s now five and a half and never had a sickness bug (in fact I can’t remember a time when she’s ever vomited which is probably weird, I know) whereas my other two have picked up a lot of bugs. Could just be sheer luck though, I’m not sure.

, I'll never reconsider my opinion that I don't want a baby sucking on my breast whenever it feels like it.

What is wrong with a baby doing what nature intended? Why would you deny your baby to follow his instincts based on it being what exactly? Yucky? Perverse? Time consuming?

I have given formula to my oldest two children as they were mixed fed and had more formula than breastmilk in their first 12 months but I don’t understand the aversion to a baby nuzzling his mother’s breast.

Despite people saying that there is huge pressure to breastfeed we have very low breastfeeding rates. I went to the HV for weighing when my baby was 6 months old and had just started solids and the HV asked me how much milk he was having - she nearly fell over with shock when I said I was still bf so had no idea. I think part of the reason hcps keep banging on about bf is that the messages are not working at increasing bf rates. More support is needed to help with bf as this us what will help and more tolerance of public breastfeeding, especially for older babies and toddlers.

I can’t understand people who think breastfeeding is ‘yucky’ or didsgusting. I actually have a close friend who holds this view so it’s been quite hard to hold my tounge around her when she starts spouting off about it, sometimes whilst I’ve been b/feeding! It’s actually quite a common view in our society but that doesn’t really surprise me when breasts are seen a sex objects. Incidentally I’ve never had comments or looks from strangers that I’ve noticed.

It also staggers me how many women on threads about breastfeeding still say they don’t like feeding in public and when they’re out and about. How bloody antiquated is Britain? These are some of reasons that contribute to poor rates and it’s a problem that runs so deep in society. Breastfeeding mums are likely to feel judged by anyone, strangers, but more often family and friends who put pressure on to stop with anecdotal evidence about sleep etc. formula feeding mums ARE judged, I don’t deny that, but it tends to be from very specific groups (such as online Facebook groups) whose agenda it is to promote breastfeeding and hpcs whose job it is to promote breastfeeding. Does anyone in real life really question it given that it is in fact the norm for babies to be ff?

Minifingerz yes I suppose you’re right about us being emotionally invested in believing formula companies spiel. It really annoys me though because it actually affects ff babies and parents yet they are the ones who so often dismiss attempts to hold formula companies to account, or just point out their questionable ethics, as a personal slight against them and just another way to push ‘breast is best’. It’s not, it’s about parents having correct scientifically accurate information which at the moment they’re not getting half the time. I’ve been told it’s a problem consigned to the 80’s! If only.

Another poster on the last b/f thread shared a lecture by the woman who runs fist steps nutrition trust (an impartial charity, they’re not to promote b/f) highlighting how a formula was marketed to HCPs to improve symptoms of CMPA. It wasn’t tested by any body in the U.K. when it came to market, they bypassed FSA (who appear to be on the side of big business), and the claims on the tin had no scientific basis. They basically made it all up, and that’s considered good enough for sick babies. Truly staggering.

Totally agree with you @having.

I mix fed dc1 and am mix feeding dc2, so don’t have a particular dog in this fight, so to speak, as I’m obviously for bf and not against ff either!

But, as I always think when I read these threads, support for new mothers with feeding is sadly lacking. I don’t even mean just bf support, but general support for new mothers too. So many mums I know have no family support at all and what’s available from the NHS just isn’t adequate. I couldn’t even pay someone to come and help me with feeding this time.

The fact that at least two people on here have said they were feeling suicidal with what bf put them through before anyone stepped in and helped them is quite scary.

Even the op said that if bf hadn’t been easy for her, she wouldn’t have kept going.

The thing is, that I think there IS plenty of pressure / encouragement to bf. It’s in the media, it’s encouraged by every HCP you speak to during pregnancy and immediately after birth. It’s even written on the side of boxes of formula that ‘breast is best’. We all know successful EBF is the best outcome. But knowing this and knowing how beneficial it is, seems to only result in new mothers getting themselves wound up to a point where it is effecting their mental health when things don’t go to plan, for whatever reason. That’s why I don’t really see the merit in continually drumming into women, just the benefits of bfing. Yes, there are benefits. We all know that, but how does that help someone who is struggling to do it? “Here’s what you could have won”?

The other thing that strikes me from this thread is the range of experiences of bf; from, the exhaustion of feeding every hour for 18 months nearly killed me, to my bf dc slept through the night from 5 weeks. The former, saying she will never EBF again and the op saying she mightn’t have continued at allif it wasn’t as easy as it has been for her. In that case, what do the benefits really matter? The op might have quit anyway, but, because it’s been easy and she hasn’t, she now wants to confirm all the benefits of it and discuss them at length on here?

And, why does it matter so much that this GP said what he did? It seems he has some basis for it in research. Whether or not the research is totally reliable is another thing, obviously. And anyway, it’s not as if he said bf was bad, he just said it might not be quite as big a deal in the long term, as one might think. It’s hardly that controversial, but he’s not allowed to say it is he? Because we aren’t allowed to say that bf might not be the be all and end all.

At the same time, if you do bf but can’t be utterly discreet when feeding in public (like I can’t - thanks giant norks and clumsiness ), then you get criticised for that too. If not irl, then there’s always someone on here saying how bf women have to be discreet / how disgusting and attention seeking it is, to feed a baby in public if they’re older than X weeks / months old.

No wonder this is effecting women’s mental health. It’s a total head fuck.

@TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag I feel you've misquoted me a bit there. I didn't at any stage say I'd definitely have stopped if it had been hard. I said that I wasn't convinced I'd have stuck to it.

Let me be clear though: I'd have had to be in excruciating pain, bleeding and sore or not producing enough with no way to increase supply before I considered giving up and even then, I'd have been absolutely devastated. At that stage, and that stage only, I'd have been pleased that formula existed.

Oh apologies. In the first bit where I’ve said you “wouldn’t have kept going”, I should have said “mightn’t”. I was quite careful to say “might”, through the rest of the post, but that one was a mistake, sorry.

I don’t think the thresholds for quitting you’ve just mentioned are particularly unusual. I imagine most people who planned to EBF but ended up not being able to would say similar. So, your last post doesn’t really change my opinion.

I hate threads like these where things turn nasty, I am not convinced the poster is as innocent as she seems, as per her comments to tabby

@TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag I agree. I feel very fortunate that the worst I dealt with was bruised nipples for the first few days. However, I've got friends on both ends of the spectrum: one who has just fed through her 6th bout of mastitis yet refuses to stop because she feels it is so important and another who gave up after 2 days because her nipples were purple and it hurt.

So I'm not convinced that 'most' people would go through intense difficulty to continue and let's not forget that there's also a large number who never even try.

@Chickpearocker why exactly does that mean? I've never claimed to be 'innocent.' I'm not 12.

So I'm not convinced that 'most' people would go through intense difficulty to continue and let's not forget that there's also a large number who never even try.

That’s true, but I did say most people, who planned to EBF.

Don’t forget (I’m sure you don’t) that, for a lot of people who don’t manage to EBF, it’s not their own discomfort which is the issue either. I have a baby who can’t latch properly yet for some reason, so I have to express (a lot of) breast milk and occasionally top up with formula. I’m not EBF, but that’s because my baby would probably starve if I didn’t do what I’m doing, so that’s what we have to do. I’d honestly rather not! Pumping all the time is a ballache.

@Havingahorridtime, indeed yucky, annoying, potentially pain-inducing and claustrophobic. And I am not alone in this. There was a thread on here about exactly that a little while ago. So many think the same.

In this respect it annoys me no end that women like us are pressurised to do the natural thing without question . We must explicitly tell HCPs we are not even considering it and then hope we're not challenged.

At least back in the day there were wetnurses.

You started the thread with an innocent enough question which was abiut your GP, you then turned nasty against a women who said she had ff her children. Did you intend this thread to be a bf vs ff thread, I think we have had enough of those!

@TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag I hadn't really thought of that to be fair! Again, I'm not sure if this is true or my health visitor having an agenda but she told me that only 2% of women are genuinely unable to feed. Are babies' feeding issues included in that statistic?

If it's a correct stat in the first place?

God knows about the stats tbh. My hv hasn’t mentioned to us.

@Tabby

Mother's that aren't knackered and miserable for a start. More of a routine perhaps too?

I wasn't knackered and miserable and we didn't want a routine.

I don't argue that for some people breastfeeding is incredibly difficult but it is patently incorrect to imply it is that way for everybody.

Do breastfeeding benefits wear off by 5? I have no clue, but the benefits that she gained AT THE TIME by being breastfed to 3 years and 8 months were so high that it was absolutely worth it.

@Chickpearocker I haven't been on mumsnet long enough to have seen an bf v ff threads but no, that certainly wasn't my intention.

I also disagree with your accusation that I 'turned nasty' - I think you need to take into consideration the fact that Tammy consistently made totally baseless claims along the lines of 'my children are just as healthy as breastfed ones' without responding to anyone else's requests for proof of what she was basing that opinion on! If you didn't like the wording of my post in response, maybe consider her prior posts and you may understand a little better.

Actually at someone describing breastfeeding as 'yucky' - how old are you?

I FF my DS1 and currently BF my 3mo DS2. It's been hard work but now for me the convenience is fecking brilliant. Just whap out a boob and happy away.

Kudos to bottle feeding mums I couldn't be bothered washing, sterilising, making bottles up etc!

And OP, hold on in there it gets easier, their feeds get quicker and their sleeps longer. 4 hours at 6 weeks is brilliant!

Chickpearocker any thread on b/f turns into a bf ff debate. But IME it is almost always because people who ff chose to come on and challenge the OP with things like ‘there’s no difference between formula and breastmilk’. Someone once had to take a thread down because she dared to say she was proud of breastfeeding. Why shouldn’t people who enjoy it and think there’s benefits be allowed to discuss that? There’s loads of threads on ff advice and rarely do people jump on those just to make snide comments about the OPs choices (not that I’ve seen anyway). I’ve never encountered such anti breastfeeding sentiment outside of MN. It’s to the point where if you dare to say anything positive about b/f you’re goading. I actually think this thread has been really civilised and there’s been some interesting info.