Benefits of breastfeeding 'wear off' by 5

[greygal]

Had 6 week check for DS today with my GP. He asked all the 'normal' questions, including how I was finding breastfeeding.

I've been really lucky and had no pain, soreness etc and DS is gaining wait incredibly well so I explained that despite my longest sleep in 6 weeks being 4 hours in one go, I felt that it was going really well and felt positive about continuing.

He then launched into a rant about there being far too much pressure on mothers to breastfeed and that by the age of 5, any benefits to a baby of being breast-fed had worn off!

AIBU to wonder why the bloody hell we're all bothering (especially people who have cracked, bloody nipples/ blocked milk ducts/ mastitis etc)?

Is it true that there is no difference between a breast fed and formula fed child by 5 years of age?

Natsku that’s so interesting. I think milk banks are some thing we should explore in the U.K. a lot more. I’ve never heard of one locally to me. I left a lot of pumped milk in the freezer at hospital by mistake and they phoned up to check that it was ok that they chucked it. Does seem a waste if it could have helped another premature baby.

@Rumpledfaceskin @Natsku

www.ukamb.org/milk-banks/

It seems that there are a number of milk banks in the UK. I had no idea!

Thanks that’s interesting. Glad we do have quite a few, although I’m sad to see there’s not any in the south west where we are!

They get paid 25 euros per litre for donating milk here so that's probably why they have enough for all babies that need it.

It's correct that formula fed babies have a higher incidence of SIDS but it's incorrect to say that this is because they sleep more deeply due to having a harder time digesting formula. It's a possible theory but it's in no way proven fact. Actually we have no idea why any of the statistical protections against SIDS work, just that they do.

@TableShack I was just sharing my experience, breastfed dc slept through at 5 weeks and continued to do so until sleep regression. The babies I know didnt change the amount they slept when weaned onto formula, and the formula fed ones never seemed to sleep any better than the breastfed ones.

When sleep regression hit we tried giving formula before bed, he still woke at the same times.

Now he is a brilliant sleeper, I'm convinced it's partly that he's like me and loves sleep, but partly down to a very firm bedtime routine. I don't think the type of milk he was fed made any difference.

They get paid 25 euros per litre for donating milk here so that's probably why they have enough for all babies that need it. I used to get 12.5p per pint. I said I was donating and didn't want money but they said it had been worked out that 12.5p paid enough for you to replace the calories you lost by donating the milk and if I didn't take the money I wouldn't be able to donate.

The money came every month in an old fashioned little brown envelope. I thought it was hilarious.

I'd have been rich at 25 euros a litre, I donated for at least six months, normally a litre a day but towards the end it was more like a litre every two days. As my GP said if I was a cow I would be a prize winner.

Just worked it out and I would have been getting over 700 euros a month, not a bad boost to maternity pay.

GummyGoddess I never had a bedtime for mine or a bedtime routine and had two brilliant sleepers and two who just didn't seem to need it. I think it is easy to think something works when sometimes it is just how that child is.

Routines here, but 3 terrible sleepers. I think it's the child.

I was suicidal - genuinely and seriously - until my midwife told me it was okay to stop breastfeeding (or trying to - the combination of a v traumatic birth, delayed milk, weird nipples and a tiny-mouthed but huge baby made it pretty impossible). The guilt of formula feeding was and is still huge, but having that one person say it was okay to stop saved my life. And I'm not being overdramatic.

The "breast is best" message is expressed loudly and clearly everywhere you go. Hell, I see it on the side of the box every time I made my daughter up a bottle. I actually think it's important to have the occasional reminder that the benefits - while important - aren't necessarily quite the be all and end all that we're repeatedly told. But maybe I'm just bitter as my whole experience of being a first time new mum was totally ruined by the overwhelming pressure to breastfeed.

That said, I have endless, endless admiration for those who manage it and believe they should be encouraged all the way. It's just such a tricky subject.

Hah love that grannytomine 12.5p to pay for the calories! Yeah 25 euros a litre is really decent, and they provide sterilised bottles and pay for the milk to be transported by bus if you can't take it in yourself. Unfortunately I seem to get sod all out with a pump (hospital grade double electric even!) so no chance of me earning a bit of extra cash.

@peachgreen

I’m so glad your MW had the sense to say that to you . It’s fucking hard to make that decision yourself when you’re in the throes of it all tbh and I can definitely see how having a HCP just saying it’s fine to stop can be a life saver.

Surely you could have worked out that that was a load of Baloney Grey.
Most babies are ff, the number of babies that die from SIDS is thankfully tiny as it is rare,even more so if you don't cosleep or smoke.

We'd have an epidemic of SIDS if such a hypothesis was true.

I’ve heard the same thing as the op re ff babies sleeping longer due to formula being harder to digest. But (total anecdata here), I’ve also noticed my ds sleeps well and is more settled than mix fed dd was at his age. He is fed almost exclusively breast milk, but from a bottle. He has the odd formula feed, but doesn’t sleep any longer. I wonder if it’s the volume rather than the contents of the milk which

Oops hit post too soon!

Anyway, it could also (probably) just be coincidence / their personalities rather than anything to do with how they fed.

I am a HCP and have said similar to women wracked with guilt about giving their infants formula (my line is actually in a class of reception children I can't tell which were formula fed- which is true) Having said that I also happen to believe breast milk is nearly magic ( personal and professional experience- you can use for things other than drinking and I have known it to be highly effective). Personal experience is that formula made no difference to my babies' sleep patterns, but I got more sleep at night with dc2 who had an 11pm bottle of formula from DH from 10 days. She still had 6-7 breastfeeding a day so plenty of the benefits of breast milk too.

I tried giving my first a bottle of formula at bedtime in the hope it'd make her sleep better but it did not! She was a terrible sleeper though.

sweetheartneckline: That said, I did see a lovely leaflet from the Unicef Baby Friendly Initiative about responsive bottle feeding - feeding on demand, skin to skin, recognising feeding cues before baby cries etc. Truly I think these are the most important factors - the building blocks of a great relationship. As PPs alluded to, the lifelong emotional bond between baby and caregiver will protect DC into adulthood and foster resilience to draw on long after ear infections cease to be a major concern.

This.

The main benefit of my having extended bf-ed and co-slept with both my dcs is the primal bond with me, their mother, which even I cannot explain.

I bf-ed not because I was convinced of the nutritional benefits (just wanted to give it a go) but my dcs were dead insistent on it and so I continued because they protested loudly at a bottle of formula. They slept terribly and so I ended up co-sleeping with them. I am the least maternal person you can ever hope to meet but there you go.

Dcs are now 14 and 11. They are hardly text book obedient children but there is something about me (and not as much as their dh) - they seem to internalise their mummy. Dh pointed it out. I did not want to believe it (eschewing all biology is destiny arguments) but it is weird, it is there.

I am sure bottle fed children have the same bond with their mothers. In my case, I believe it derives from the long nights of bf-ing and co-sleeping.

And touch wood, they are also rarely ill.

@greygal.....what a horrid thing to say. You have no proof whatsoever that my children were more at risk of catching those diseases etc and rather horrible for you to put it like that. Honestly thousands and thousands of babies are formula fed and are absolutely fine. When your child goes to hospital or gp for anything they don't ask you if the baby was FF or bf, so there is no data gathering going on for them to base it on. You can absolutely make your own choices greygal how you feed your baby, but so can everyone else and you can't make out FF babies are worse off than yours.

My DS (age 3) is, touch wood, hardly ever ill and has only been to the GP for illness once since birth.

He and I are very very closely bonded, there's definitely that biological cord that links us.

But... I bottle fed him, he just would not latch. I was v funny about being the primary person to give him his feeds, and during those nights where I held him close and we gazed into each other's eyes I felt that bond strengthen. I don't believe we could possibly be closer.

DS has ASD but there's something about his bond with me that seems to transgress that, we can share a look sometimes and both burst into laughter.

@greygal.....what a horrid thing to say. You have no proof whatsoever that my children were more at risk of catching those diseases etc and rather horrible for you to put it like that

I though the same actually.

@op, you sound like you are slightly lording your 6 weeks of bf success a wee bit... I don’t know if it’s just defensiveness after what your doctor said or what, but that comment to @tabby sounded super smug and quite cruel. I agree with the pp (pages back) who said to treat parenthood as a marathon, not a sprint. It’s great you’ve done so well with bf your dc, and I get that you are proud of it - good for you!

But, I wouldn’t get too into hunting down evidence to prove how far superior bf is to ff and then applying it to individuals. There has been a lot of talk on here about the benefits of bf at a population level and how that is different to benefits to the individual mother and child. For you to then say “my children have less chance of getting cancer or dying of SIDS” is fucking unpleasant tbh.

For you to then say “my children have less chance of getting cancer or dying of SIDS than yours*”

Should be^^

it helps them sleep,

Does it buggery! My kids must have missed that memo!

To whomever was wondering why people insist on making formula sound just as good as breastmilk this is why.
Everywhere you see "breast is best" and most people accept that regardless of how they feed their baby.
But then sone of the women who do bf insist of lording it over ff mothers,give this whole spiel about how amazing breast milk is and all it's magic properties and how formula just doesn't compare. The way it's put formula is not even second best,it's just something you give your baby so they don't die of hunger.
And then ofc the below the belt and snarky comments about amazing bonds, MY kids aren't going to get x,y,z and so on, saying ff is fine in certain circumstances (it's fine regardless why the mother chose it,you don't get to decide ff acceptability)
So ofc women that do ff will roll their eyes,give examples of their perfectly happy and healthy kids, and take the "breast milk is the be all and end all" with a pinch of salt.

Rebel but far more often you hear all the downsides of breastfeeding. I assumed it wouldn’t work for me/wouldn’t be an enjoyable experience beacause of everythig I’d heard before. I’ve known people not try because sister/aunt/whoever had a bad experience and they don’t want to put themselves through the same. Why should women have the opportunity cut off when actually they might try and love it because of others negativity? You can’t blame people if they want to talk positively about breastfeeding because it’s bloody amazing when it works out. That doesn’t mean they are judging you. Formula doesn’t compare to breastmilk. It’s completely different, but that doesn’t mean that babies fed it will not grow and develop as well as b/f babies. Formula in countries where it’s safe is a perfectly acceptable alternative to the biological norm but it will always be the ‘alternative’ to biological norm. So yes some people would consider that second best if you must ‘rate’ types of infant feeding. I don’t believe ‘breast is best’ is a good mantra. Breast is just ‘normal’.