To think we will never be able to afford anything?

[Seriouslyscrewed]

Name changed because I am quite ashamed of how I feel but I can't help it!

Let me start by saying that I know that money and material things are not the be all and end all. Most important is having health and happiness.

BUT...i am crazy jealous of people around me because my house is a tiny shit hole and everyone else seems to have new lovley houses or houses where they afford to do it up.

We are very very poor right now. And I can't see a way out of it. Our house is falling apart and I am so depressed about it. I dream of a new kitchen or a nice bedroom.

How do we change our money situation? How do people afford this stuff?

We work so hard but seem to not see a penny I feel like our loves are all ways going to be this way and I'm fed up of being green with envy!!!

Ha! I DREAM of living in a house!

My tiny shithole is a flat, and there is no prospect of moving to a house EVER.

And you own your shithole (as do we), which is something many people dream of in itself?

Kitchens are expensive, but I bet you could sort out the bedroom with a big of thought and effort?

to be fair, as great as it is to own your house, it means that you are the one funding all the repairs and improvement on top of your mortgage. Fair enough, but as a tenant, you monthly costs don't change if your boiler packs up or your roof starts leaking.

My point is that it's great if the OP owns her home (or pays a mortgage to the bank which currently owns the property) but it might not help her financial situation for the moment. Long term it will, but until that mortgage is paid off, it's hard.

Op firstly you don't have need money to do place up. Have you painted kitchen cupboard, tiles? Etc?
You can source cheap paint alot of my house is painted in farrow and ball from the home base 75% off due to tin damage, then further reductions on their sale weekends eg 25% off all decorating...

Do you have freegle near you, for sourcing furniture, toys.

Do you set yourself a budget. I disagree with writing down what you spend. That's cart before horse.

First of all what are out goings necity eg bills. Sort and add that up.

Then what have you got left over. Then divide that up into essentials eg petrol. Food. What have you got left divide that up, weekly expenses eg going out, then divide what's left up for savings, Christmas bday holidays, house repairs. You may only have a tenner left for those but it adds up. It also is a great motivator to think, if I can get the electricity bill down by 120 a year... That's extra tenner for all your savings pots. Then are you claiming married persons tax allowance?

It's about £22 a month and you can back claim!! Ten pounds per month saved from leccy bill plus 22 from marriage a, starts to add up... Add to that selling odds and ends on eBay...

Another thing that always makes me feel better.. No matter how big your house is you will have to favourite most used room. In many large houses the oft used room is not the large grand drawing room but the smaller cosy room.

That's how I think about my living space...

Yellow, thats quite a nasty thing to say. You have no idea of the posters background. Maybe they are in completely different circumstances to when they planned (or maybe didn't plan) children.
OP- I strongly suggest joining MoneySavingExpert. The website is fantastic and offers so much helpful advice and the forum are brilliant too. In the debt free wannabe board you can do an income and expenditure quiz which generates a statement of affairs. this can be constructive criticised and will show you areas where you can save money.
If you have any credit or store cards then I strongly suggest some plastic surgery (cut them up).
I am due to be debt free in may, I'm a single mum. It has been so hard but I just kept throwing every spare penny at it until its gone.
YOU GOT THIS!!

Get off social media.

Halfwit - I'm not on social media got rid of it all a year ago.

Ive been meal.planning for quite a while and i am doing a budget, plus i will start putting some money aside each week even if it's just a tiny amount.

I think my choices haven't been bad for those of you saying this is my choice for buying a house and having a child... We bought our house when times were much better for us. We had some money left to us and the best option seemed to be to put it into a house as we were renting. Dd again was planned at a time when things were better financially for us. My choices are not the reason behind how skint we are. But thanks to those who are giving that helpful bit of advice

I think really I'm wondering how people afford to be in such nice houses and to be living seemingly a better life that us? Is it all on credit?

It makes me sad that we work so hard, we have professional jobs in financial services, in my case I'm very specialised. But we hardly was enough to live a good life I've looked at getting a second cleaning job or something but I can't seem to find anything! It seemed that little cleaning type evening jobs aren't applied for in the same way I would a job in my field? Does anyone know anything about this?

I think it is hard. We only just scrape by each month are finding it so hard. For us the change to make is to work more. I am doubling my hours at work so we can stop worrying about the bills. We both have degrees and have jobs that pay well.
Does your job pay well? Can you move to a cheaper area or are you tied by school etc?
Our house is nice enough but does need decorating. It is hard living somewhere that is a mess. We are hoping that we can sort it with some paint!

Op, no it's not all on credit, sure some will be, or some will have inherited, but I would say people will have higher earnings than you do, hence why they can afford more. 💐

If you work in financial services you must have a better grasp of how money works than most. You haven't put your age, this is I feel relevant, do you have room to progress in your field?

Plus the dreaded what part of the country are you in? I'm not going to suggest you up sticks and move North though both DH and I did but before we met each other. Are you in SE?

I have never meal planned in my life, I pop in to Sainsbury's on my way home from a course I'm doing. I look at the reduced stuff and also what's on offer.

You are hardly in that bad a situation. You both work 'in financial services', have a 2 bed house and one child.

It doesn't cost much to do some DIY and decoration and make your house nice. If it feels too small - get rid of your clutter. Dedicate weekends to getting DIY jobs done. Paint your bedroom and buy new cheap bed linen.

You sound a bit woe is me, when actually you could easily make some changes to help your self.

If you are running out of money - can you or DH take on some weekend work?

Absolutely join MSE. Loads of help there. List your income and expenditure and look for ways to reduce expenditure- for example changing suppliers/ mobile contract up? Change to sim only/ push suppliers for discounts instead of leaving them
If you work full time, stop by the supermarket on way home and pick up reduced goods for evening meal.
Sell on out grown clothes / shoes / toys
Have a clear out and see what can go
If you shop with Tesco, take advantage of your Clubcard points
Keep an eye on hot uk deals for the things that you do need to buy
You will get lots of help and support on the mse forums

Op, no it's not all on credit, sure some will be, or some will have inherited, but I would say people will have higher earnings than you do, hence why they can afford more

Very true. It's easy to say 'all on credit' as a way of justifying what others have but we are mortgage and debt free and have nice things through many years of studying and hard work in our respective careers. We appreciate how very lucky we are. I have been on the receiving end of snide comments a number of times from jealous people who are clearly hoping we must have huge amounts of debt.

Op

If you want advice it’s better to lay out here your incomings and outgoings.

If you both have jobs in finance and bought a house with money left over then then I’m wondering where your monthly salary is going?

Are your kids in school? Are there childcare costs? Are you getting childcare vouchers?

People afford nice houses because they prioritise their income and budget accordingly.

People get pay rises? They get promotions etc

You honestly have to stop comparing yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

DH is a relatively high earner but because I've been chronically ill for years and can't work, it almost evens out to if the two of us were earning. Our savings were ok but we've had to go down the private route for various health tests and treatments so they're down to nil. We have a plan to get out of this "funk" and I also have some professional goals that I'm working my ass off for and hope it works out. It will be my own business and though much harder than having a "normal job", it will give me the flexibility I need for medical appointments, treatments, high pain days working on the sofa in my pyjamas etc.

We could afford to have a child but things would be tight and stretched and I just refuse to put myself in that position (I'm not saying that having a go, it's simply our choice after weighing things up).

You really need to be very proactive and determined and in addition to money saving plans, frugal living and that sort of thing, one or both of you concentrate on using/creating professional opportunities. Think outside the box.

You must stop comparing though. You'll drive yourself mad.

I'm very anal on my my bills; will sit there for hours working out the best price per k/wh etc for Gas and electric, compare insurance prices to make sure I have a good deal, look at broadband deals etc. All the saved pennies at up. I also shop around for the cheapest supermarket offers/plan my journey home to go into Asda etc so I'm not going out my way. Don't do unnecessary car journeys if I can help it. All adds up. I also just got myself out of debt, some months I would feel like crying when I had to make a payment 🙁

My advice is be anal with bills/deals, shop savvy, and be very sensible with money. I saved £270 on my home insurance (yes really 😮) and so could afford to buy a couple of new tyres for my car because they were at the legal tread limit. There is always something to fork out for; a birthday/tyres/vet bills/summer holidays 6 weeks/Christmas etc. Always something.

Learn to get savvy!!

Of course it’s not ‘all on credit’. Some will be, yes. Some with earn more than you. Some will have had an inheritance. Good investments. Compensation. There are all sorts of reasons people have more money than you, so there’s no point comparing. All you can do is work on your own circumstances.

What are you doing about your long term career goals? Are you taking any professional qualifications to increase your skills? Are you looking for new roles and opportunities?

I'm not sure how you are struggling to find an evening job, but why not get active and find a job yourself. It is usually offices and businesses that want evening cleaners - have you made any enquiries to see what's out there? What about evening or weekend bar work?

You’ve said yourself that you used to be better off so why don’t you understand how other people afford it? Clearly they are better off, it’s not rocket science.

Decluttering costs nothing and will make your house feel more tidy and organised - plus you may find that you have things you can sell on eBay or Facebook marketplace.

You can repaint a room for £20 for the paint and a roller plus a few hours of your time. We don't spend much money on our house but we tend to give heavy use areas (kitchen and living room) a fresh coat of paint at least every other year because it keeps them feeling fresh and costs less than a new cushion for the sofa.

We've never changed our bathroom or kitchen so they're pretty dated but I find after a proper deep clean they feel less dingy - I use a combination of bleach and bicarb on the tiles when they start to feel grotty and it really lifts it, although the room will smell like a swimming for a few days.

Well it doesn't sound like either of you are in minimum wage jobs that have no prospects and you had an inheritance that helped you get on the property ladder so really, without some actual detail regarding income v outgoings, nobody here can advise you regarding how things could improve.

I realise your question was about how other people have whatever they've got but that's probably not the thing to focus on is it? You sound (from the limited information you've given) discontented rather than what most people would see as poor.

if you are both in good jobs, then can i ask where you think the problem comes from?

is your mortgage the unaffordable thing? is it travel to work? is it childcare expenses because they will drop as your DD gets older.

in regards to your bedroom- what exactly is wrong with it? our bedroom is just pained cream, but the bedding that is the same sort of colour as the bedding, and matching lamps makes a huge difference. our cleaner seems to think that our bedroom is the best bedroom shes ever been in. its the only room we just chucked together.

What exactly is wrong with your bedroom? Is it a question of gutting and replastering, or just repainting? Is it a furniture issue?

The first thing to do is "define the problem". This gives it parameters and stops it growing into a nebulous "misery and crap" monster.

And as you have parameters, you can then look at ways to tackle it.

So where is it going? Are you stuck in a high mortgage deal can you pay the fine and remortgage to a better deal if so (only if it's worth taking the hit on the fine)

You have not mentioned but cars? If you have them are they lease? If you have 2 can you drop to one? I own our car outright as ihate car finance! Old fiesta so nowt special.

Yes, break down what you think of as problem areas in your house, so it becomes lots of little problems - perhaps easily dealt with - rather than one giant problem. Look at what you've got, keep what you need or want, and move on from there.