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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Tired of this shit

17 replies

Rosiie · 15/02/2018 18:12

Never have I ever felt so lonely, I’ve just made dinner, fed the kids, gave my 20 month old DS a bath, cleaned up all the food mess in the dining room (youngest DS likes to throw food on the floor for some reason ) and now I’m doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, whilst my other DD and DS are fighting like cat and dog in their bedroom. I have to go in the constantly try to make them stop arguing, and take care of my DS and clean.

While all of this is going on, DH is in the bedroom on his phone. He just ate, took his plate to the kitchen and went to the bedroom.

Feeling so low 😢.

OP posts:

RJnomore1 · 15/02/2018 18:14

What the fuck?

Stop cleaning.

Is he ill or something?

SimonBridges · 15/02/2018 18:14

Text him and call him a twat.

Seriously though you need to talk to him about this.
Is he normally an arse or is there a problem?

Notcool1984 · 15/02/2018 18:14

Leave him! Best thing I ever did. What is he bringing positive to your life? You deserve to be happy in life, he sounds terrible. Life's too short to put up with that!

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 15/02/2018 18:17

Go in and ask him to help! Is he always like this? If he is you're better off without him.

jaseyraex · 15/02/2018 18:18

Bloody hell. Is he always like that or is there an issue at the moment? Either way, I'd be in there telling him to get out and parent his children or help clean up!

KarmaStar · 15/02/2018 18:21

STOP the cleaning.tell him to bath the kids and go put your feet up and have a drink.
A serious talk needs to be had OP.don't let him get away with this

GinIsIn · 15/02/2018 18:23

Why are you letting this happen? He’s an arse and this is obviously him in the wrong but why are you sitting back and taking it?

Ohlellykelly · 15/02/2018 18:24

Another vote for leave him, I was the same as you, and asking to buck up his ideas or leave was the best thing I ever did. Now he's someone else's problem.

Allthebestnamesareused · 15/02/2018 18:27

Take the kids into him and go out!

Original poster

Rosiie · 15/02/2018 19:15

I am leaving him Notcool1984 need to sort things out first.

And no he’s not ill, perfectly fine and healthy. Just fucking lazy

The thing is I could ask him to help, but he will say he will be there soon, then I ask again 10 min same response, then ask again and he will get angry and accuse me of nagging him. Then I just end up doing it all, and there comes a time when you just get tired of it all, tired of asking for help, because the help never comes.

In the past when we argued about this he used to say things like “ but you are the mother” what the fuck?!

He’s just a big man child who will never change. It baffles me how he thinks it’s normal to live like this.

I have to clean, nothing gets done in this house unless I do it. trust me I’ve tried it and he just ignores the mess. Ohlellykelly yes soon he will be someone else’s problem.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 15/02/2018 19:26

Thank god you're leaving that useless man. As far as the children are concerned, it's time to get serious and lay down HUGE consequences if they won't stop arguing. That behaviour simply should not be allowed, end of story. Tell them tonight that you have had it, and if they continue to disturb the entire household, then they can be expecting punishments. Devise punishments that you know will be effective and then stick to your word! They need to know who the boss is, and that's YOU. Life can either be pleasant and they can enjoy privileges, or they can choose to break your rules and suffer the consequences.

Callamia · 15/02/2018 19:38

congratulations for leaving him. Life will become better when it’s on your own terms.

It is all relentless isn’t it? I’ve no real advice for that, I just hear you.

Notcool1984 · 15/02/2018 23:23

You will be so happy you did so sorry for your current situation - you are doing amazing keeping everything going, never undervalue how much you are doing xx

Lilmis · 15/02/2018 23:41

I know how u feel. My husband doesn't spend much time with us as a family. This is the 4th set of school holidays I've had to be both mum and dad with the kids coz he's working all thru the holidays as he refuses to take time off for us. These holidays however he's swanned off Australia. So another set of holidays I'm on my own. My kids r complaining that he doesn't give them time and he's gone on holiday to see his parents. And just to top it off, we have minimal contact coz he's so busy and can't accommodate us in his busy life. Ffks just one fine call a day is too difficult for him to make an effort and stay awake and talk to us.

Beckyd1 · 15/02/2018 23:44

Ur leaving him as a partner im assuming he will still be a das. Send the kids into his bedroom to fight

kissmethere · 16/02/2018 00:39

Wow you need to get rid of him. Pronto. No man who loved you and cares for your wellbeing would let you do all this.
Start by stopping doing anything that benefits him. We all do what needs to be done, and then some, but he's just sitting on his arse. What a pathetic man.

Original poster

Rosiie · 16/02/2018 12:45

So sorry to her that Lilmis why don't you go with him to see his parents?

OP posts:

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