Would you go?

[buddhasbelly]

Following on from this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3164045-I-had-a-job-interview-today?msgid=75641812#75641812

I am due to go away to an event next week with this colleague. It is a reward for some work that I did that she had a small role in.

I don't particularly want to spend any time with this colleague (see previous thread). There will be alcohol at the event and with a drink in her can be horrid. I don't drink, have to apologise to people for her behaviour when drunk at other events.

At this point I dont know if she's still going to get to go. There is an ongoing HR investigation due to the way she spoke to me and other colleagues.

But I earned the reward I've not been away in a long while and was really looking forward to it prior to her recent behaviour (my plan was to chat to other people at the event and just not engage too much). But now I don't know what her behaviour will n like if alcohol is involved...should I just not go and save myself the grief?

Go and pretend you don't know her - don't apologise for her because that means you are seen to have responsibility for her

Thanks for coming from the other thread Tulips trouble is it's an industry seated, named table event with dinner etc (sorry should be explained that).

But good point re aplogising for her. Sometimes she can be ok when drinking but sometimes not.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3164045-I-had-a-job-interview-today?msgid=75646030#75646030

Clicky link

Bumping for traffic

I'd say you're not her supervisor, you're not her minder and not her friend, so definitely don't apologize for any untoward behaviour on her part. Let her be responsible for her own actions, whatever they may be and certainly don't let her dampen your reward if she does go.

Ask the organisers discreetly to sit away from her.

Thanks both. We'll be in the same table of 10 but could try and be as far as away as possible.

At least since she's leaving she might just been in an upbeat mood but some people with alcohol, that switch can flip so easily.

I think you're giving her too much headspace, tbh.

To be honest, I'm split on this because if it is industry/named type of thing then reputations are important.
But presuming everyone there is an adult then let her make a tit of herself if she does, it will not reflect on you as a person. You shouldn't have to miss out because of her actions. I've been to many of these corporate type dinners and events over the years and someone invariably makes a tit of themselves. I might remember 'oh John from company X was a right twat that evening', but it does not reflect my thoughts on John's colleagues.

If she's leaving is she still eligible to go.

Thanks for the responses. Definitely have it too much headspace.

It'll be up to snr mgmt if she's allowed to go due to her conduct and the opportunity needing to show it is a sustainable opportunity for people staying in my work place.

I'll leave it for them to decide. What's that saying? You can't control how people act but you can control how you react? I'll channel that for now

I'd want to stay away unless I get reassured she won't be there tbh. She won't care about the company reputation and it could all get a bit nasty for those who are there. That said this is your reward, what a shame to not go :(