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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY AND CRY?

54 replies

BLUESEAPARADISE · 14/02/2018 18:36

AIBU?

DS is 9 years old and is developmentally 9-18 months old and is non verbal .. he has had an extremely rough few days and we had little sleep.. last night was the worst night we have ever had .. he woke up every 15/20 minutes screaming and crying.. this happened ALL NIGHT 😭 as a result I spent all my night rocking him to sleep and holding him .. he isn't eating and is refusing his drinks 😭 last night he woke up and I offered him his milk ( he is still on formula - a whole different subject!) and he had about 3oz before screaming the house down and crying 😭. Today he has had about 7oz of milk and that's it .. he has refused his food and is just miserable and unsettled 😭.. he doesn't want anyone else apart from me and I am absolutely exhausted. He normally has a nap during the day for a couple of hours but he wouldn't settle.. even with me rocking him / holding him / pushing him around / going in the car. I KNOW he is absolutely exhausted but he just won't sleep!

The night before last he had about 2/3 hours sleep at a time.. I just want to run and hide ... I don't know what's happened .. he is " well " he doesn't have a temperature or anything 😭

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 14/02/2018 19:12

You do need respite. I didn’t want it either but I damned well needed it. I hope you have a better night OP, and manage to get an appointment with the GP tomorrow, (or maybe out of hours doctor tonight?)

SpeckledyHen · 14/02/2018 19:19

Is there a possibility that he is constipated OP ?

TeachesOfPeaches · 14/02/2018 19:24

OP I really feel for you - it's sounds very tough what you're going through Thanks

mumonashoestring · 14/02/2018 19:31

I think it was you that posted the other day to say he would only eat certain things and hasn't been eating even those lately? I think it's time for a doctors visit - emergency appointment as he's obviously in discomfort.

Does your nearest A&E have a GP attached to it?

Gazelda · 14/02/2018 19:44

Oh bless you. And bless him too. It sounds really rough. Can you speak to OOH doc? He sounds very uncomfortable.
Have you a plan for how to get through tonight if he is the same? Try to share the night with at least one other. You need to sleep.
I hope he's more comfortable and happy very soon, and that you get some respite sorted. It's a lifeline for so many parents in your situation. Thanks

Wellingtoncat · 14/02/2018 19:56

Don’t you worry about shouting at him - you did it because you are under so much stress worrying about him because you love him. Flowers

Ssssurvey · 14/02/2018 19:56

Toothache???
My son had toothache ongoing for a long time. We thought his personality was changing as he was getting older as we didn't know he was feeling pain. He was so cranky.
Flowers

JaneEyre70 · 14/02/2018 20:01

I'd phone 111 and explain your concerns. If a non verbal child is potentially in pain, it needs addressing. Failing that, I'd try some calpol and nurofen given half an hour apart. Exhaustion is just going to make him worse and worse.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 14/02/2018 20:01

Did want to read and run. Sending you best wishes, OP

AlwaysPondering · 14/02/2018 20:06

I would ring 111 - perhaps they can help define what little clues there may be to suggest if he is in pain or discomfort.

If allowed I would give him some pain relief, just in case. Are you offering things he loves just to see if he can eat or drink at all? Juicd, ice cream etc.? My little brother almost lives off Ribena when he isn't well!

And all the flowers, chocolate and hugs for you OP; this sounds so tough and you are doing amazing Flowers

gamerchick · 14/02/2018 20:09

I agree that he needs to be seen by a gp. Could you maybe dose him up with painkillers anyway just in case he is in pain. If it helps then you’ll know he is sore somewhere?

Experiencedout · 14/02/2018 20:13

Op they have to see children at the doctors. Ours has a same day system for kids.
Ask for an emergency appointment if you need to.

JsOtherHalf · 14/02/2018 20:19

Cerebra do a good infographic on possible pain causes.

www.cerebra.org.uk/help-and-information/guides-for-parents/pain-in-children-with-severe-intellectual-disability-a-guide-for-parents/

SunnySeaShell · 14/02/2018 20:24

Oh OP that sounds so difficult, no advice but I really hope you get sorted soon ThanksThanksThanks

Notonthestairs · 14/02/2018 20:42

Could it be his teeth? My DD has autism and can't explain where pain is coming from but we worked out that she had back teeth coming through. (She had to get X-rays which is a whole other story).
We've had a bumpy week sleep wise and I've been at the end of my tether too. You are not alone. Thanks

Notonthestairs · 14/02/2018 20:43

Meant to say she also stopped eating her usual foods.

Lilymossflower · 14/02/2018 20:47

Your doing an amazing job

Mrsmadevans · 14/02/2018 20:53

Blue I used to work for the Paeds community nursing team , honestly if you can get respite then please please take it . The staff in my team absolutely love the children and do a wonderful job and it is so that you can get some time to recoup and be the best you can be for your Darling boy. As for your son please take him asap to the GP. When the children act differently it is their only way of telling you there is something wrong. Very common problems were teeth hurting, constipation and orthopaedic problems . I hope he is better soon my dear.

Original poster
BLUESEAPARADISE · 15/02/2018 09:59

Thankyou everyone for all your support and advice last night ... we got seen late last night and turns out DS has two teeth coming in at the back which explains A lot 😭😩😩 I know feel absolutely awful and stupid that I didn't know!

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 15/02/2018 10:30

Do not feel stupid. He may be the size of a 9 yr old but he's really a baby and he can't tell you whats wrong and your not psychic.

Huge hugs. Your doing fab job being his mumFlowers

Notonthestairs · 15/02/2018 10:32

Great that you have got to the bottom of it.
I felt exactly the same when we realised - need to keep reminding yourself that you are just doing the best you can. I hope today is better for you both.

mrswhiplington · 15/02/2018 10:41

Hope you all get some much needed rest soon. You're doing a great job.Flowers

Original poster
BLUESEAPARADISE · 15/02/2018 10:55

Thankyou ... we also discovered he lost a tooth at some point we didn't know was loose! It's so so difficult to try and work out what's going on at times but we really do try our best .. he is still very unsettled and miserable but we have managed to put some bonjela onto him gums ( with great difficulty) and have lots of things
to chew on😩

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 15/02/2018 11:51

Thank goodness you know, and I'd say lots of pain relief will help and the Bonjela if you can get it somewhere near the spot. Poor little mite, I bet he wonders what on earth is going on. Hope you all get some much needed rest soon, and sort out some respite. I used to do respite care for the carers of people with dementia - I used to love seeing them come back with the lines gone off their faces, albeit temporarily.

Gazelda · 15/02/2018 13:32

So pleased you've found out the problem. Poor love will soon be relieved of the discomfort. And you know that your nights will quickly go back to how they were before.
But please take this as a nudge to organise some respite. It will do you the world of good, which you deserve.

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