To wonder why it is the woman who is usually the enemy ( or is it just Mumsnet)

[Resurgam2016]

On AIBU it is the MIL. In step parenting it is the Ex Wife. In relationships it is the OW. etc etc.

It's it because of some deep rooted belief in Original Sin, a lack of sisterhood amongst mumsnetters or are women genuinely the villains in our society. It just seems disproportionately critical of women in any given situation.

So if it were mostly men posting then the blame would fall on other men?

Yes.

If most of them were heterosexual and some of them were being cheated on by their wives or partners, then there would be three people involved - the (male) OP, his partner and the OM.

On here it's mostly women posting, so there is more discussion of OW than OM.

That said, I agree that most replies I see on here advise the poster to focus their anger and disappointment on their partner, not the OW. I think there would be more hatred of an OM in terms of supporting a poster on a mostly-male forum, but also, hypocritically, much less condemnation of someone who posted that they were shagging a married woman.

I think there is something in the sisterhood angle-we are taught to think that exists and are hurt and react when it...doesnt. I suppose that's a patriarchal construct maybe anyway?
And yes because this is a site mainly used by women.
FWIW when my best friend had an affair with my husband her own husband totally blamed mine. So man blaming man. In fact they were equally to blame. But I think it's easier for people to blame the person they weren't married to as it's hard to accept you thought you knew the person you were living with for years but actually didn't. More women on here, thus more women being cheated on on this forum than men, thus appears more woman hating on here maybe.

Pumper that’s ok, I didn’t take your post as aggressive.

To answer your question, I genuinely don’t know. I would like to know myself. I think it has to do with the person and their character, not whether they are male or female, it just so happens I’ve seen it with women a lot more than with men. Maybe a man would experience it more with other men, as one thing I do know, it has something to do with these women perceiving another woman as competition or a threat to their status, even when there is no such threat and no reason. I think the term “mean girls” has a root in truth. I would never on purpose try to be mean or devious toward another person, that has nothing to do with my being female though. Just like them acting like that really has nothing to do with being female in itself, it’s just a lot of them do it. I don’t know why that is, it may have nothing to do with female/male. It is like that for me because I am female, it stands to reason that it is likely that if anyone is going to feel threatened/competitive, it will be a female not a male. Same goes for males. So a male will probably feel it is males who do that sort of thing. Does that explain to you what I’m trying to say?

I’m speaking vaguely but I guess you’ve surmised that I have been myself harassed and targeted by women before, one in particular was over the top malicious over a long period of time, and a few others over the course of my life in much smaller ways. And I’ve observed it many times from women directed toward other women.

My mother always say a woman’s worst enemy is other woman.

When women start killing women more often than men kill women, that’ll be true.

thestoic, I don’t think that was what that poster meant. Not talking about physical violence, murder, or people with mental issues. She meant (I think) devious, conniving, catty, a woman trying to cut down another woman, that kind of thing.

I totally agree with whoever on the thread said that, stoic, that has been my personal experience. Apparently not yours. But, we all have our own experiences and they’re not all the same.

Nah. Men wouldn't be blaming other men. Have you been on sites like Reddit? There's plenty of of extreme women-hating and blaming out there to go round.

I know what she meant.

It is a trite, stupid phrase (probably coined by a man) that is just another way to make women focus on each other rather than on men.

I’m surprised any woman would fall for it, let alone repeat it, in this day and age.