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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask do you pay for your own car or is it a joint purchase?

69 replies

Rubyrose80 · 14/02/2018 13:11

My husband is getting a new car through work everything paid for no tax or insurance. This has come in handy as his old car was on the way out and we were discussing purchasing a new car this year. The company car he will get in work will only be a small city car and whilst he has it for personal use too with small children it will not suit long journeys and he will have that car the majority of the time with him which is fine. I own the main family car which I bought and paid for myself out of some money I had been given. As we don't have to buy him a new car I thought we could upgrade mine to something a bit newer as it needs a bit of work on it and is 8 years old. I'd like to upgrade to something maybe 2 years old and slightly roomier. DH has said he has no problem upgrading my car but I need to be able to pay for it myself each month. AIBU to feel that as we are a family we should both contribute to the car especially as we will both be driving it? Basically when all the bills are paid and savings are put in me and DH are left with 700 each spending money to do what we want. The car will cost 300 a month to finance so I feel we should contribute 150 each whereas he feels I should pay the whole 300 leaving me with 400 a month and him with 700 then he gets to still drive it. Just wondering AIBU to expect this and what do others do when you'd buy a new car?

OP posts:
HildaZelda · 14/02/2018 20:37

I bought my own. DH's is a company car. He's insured on mine but rarely drives mine. If we're going anywhere long distance we always take his as fuel is paid for and I'm insured to drive it too.

SpeckledyHen · 14/02/2018 20:49

Joint everything here .

MincemeatTart · 14/02/2018 20:54

You are married. All money is shared. All responsibility for purchases (including cars) are joint.

HildaZelda · 14/02/2018 20:58

@MincemeatTart, maybe that's the case in your house but not in mine. I have 'my' money, DH has 'his' money and then we have a joint account. I can;t understand the mentality of 'once we get married we HAVE TO share everything'.

MincemeatTart · 14/02/2018 21:01

HildaZelda for us it is a lifelong commitment and union. So, yes, everything is shared.

MillieMoodle · 14/02/2018 21:03

It depends how you sort the rest of your finances but I'd say it should be joint. It would be joint in our house, but all our money has always been shared.

outofmydepth45 · 14/02/2018 21:06

Is he going to contribute for his child's travel ?

Parker231 · 14/02/2018 21:06

All money, properties, savings, cars are owned jointly so a new car would be paid from family money and not by one individual. Is he never going to drive the new car, go places in it, benefit from the family having it?

Gillian1980 · 14/02/2018 21:08

We both pay for our own. Mainly because we both came to the relationship with our own cars and have wanted to upgrade at different times. Neither is the main family car - we use them fairly equally.

If we were looking to buy a main family car I’m sure we would use family money.

mercurymaze · 14/02/2018 21:08

hell no joint money, we share bills but what I earn is mine, and i pay for my own car/insurance etc. would hate to be 'attached' with bills liable by both.

mercurymaze · 14/02/2018 21:08

i do earn more i expect if most mnetters earnt more they would be less happy to share

duckling84 · 14/02/2018 21:10

I'm with hilda here. Yes we are married because we love each other and have committed to spending the rest of our lives with each other however we are still our own separate people and aside from a 50/50 split in the villa, our money is our own.
Dh has bought both our cars buts that's because he wanted to upgrade them whereas I didn't. He wanted so he paid. If I want a new car, I pay. I'm not going to make him have to give up his "free" money for something i want.

duckling84 · 14/02/2018 21:11

The villa? Stupid autocorrect, 50/50 split in the household bills

YellowMakesMeSmile · 14/02/2018 21:12

He will be paying for his through his tax etc and a small car of course can transport children.

You want not need a new car so it should come from your personal spending money.

Snowman123 · 14/02/2018 21:15

Do you maintain separate finances?

If so, DH may have a small point as he will already be paying tax on his company car benefit which will reduce his take home pay.

It's still right that he should contribute to the main family car, as his car is subsidised by his work. Maybe just not 50%...

BarbaraOcumbungles · 14/02/2018 21:16

i do earn more i expect if most mnetters earnt more they would be less happy to share

I wouldn’t imagine that in most marriages the person who earns the most is happy to share. I certainly wouldn’t want to be married to the sort of person who wasn’t!

Bluntness100 · 14/02/2018 21:16

I pay for my own, my husband has a company car. I would not expect him to contribute to my car. We both work,

How many kids have you got that his car wouldn't suit?

And no his isn't free, the tax is horrendous on company cars, and he will be paying for it that way. It's the reason so many companies have switched to different schemes to try to avoid the tax penalty for their employees.

BarbaraOcumbungles · 14/02/2018 21:16

I would imagine, not wouldn’t 😫

MrsJoshDun · 14/02/2018 21:16

I pay for my own car but dh doesn’t drive it. In fact I don’t bother discussing with him when I upgrade. He finds out when it turns up.

In your situation he should definitely be contributing. It will be the main family car. Or buy yourself a new small, cheap Smart car! See what he says then.

Chienrouge · 14/02/2018 21:18

I would hope that the person who earned the most would be happy to share as they wouldn’t want their partner to have a lower standard of living than themselves.
DH and I have each earned the most at various points in our relationship. Both always been happy to share.

Bluntness100 · 14/02/2018 21:19

Why is hers considered the main family car though? She's not explained that.

It's just his car and her car like most couples unless she says she's a ton of kids and needs a people carrier.

QueenofmyPrinces · 14/02/2018 21:20

I pay off the loan for my car out of my own personal spends and my DH does the same for his car.

All insurance payments, tax payments and petrol costs come out of our joint account though.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/02/2018 21:21

We aren't married but all money is family money. Cars are bought out of family money. He has the big 4x4 family car, I have a little sports car. I think they cost about the same. We drive whichever we feel like anyway.

If you are splitting your leftover money equally after bills, then he is getting a free car isn't he? If he wants you to pay for your own then he has to adjust the amount he takes out of the pot to pay for his.

Quarrelling over money is awful though. And £700 a month spends each is loads. What on earth do you do with that?

GrannyHeadology · 14/02/2018 21:23

Dh and I only have one bank account, both wages go into it and bills etc come out of it, so technically any money to buy a car, pay a car loan, insure, tax and maintain is funded from us both. Both of us are insured on the others car too. That being said my car is mine and Dh’s car is his. He has no say over what car I buy or who I insure it with etc, same goes for me, his car is his choice

LilaBlue · 14/02/2018 21:25

All our money is joint, in one account. We do have our own accounts but everything comes out of the main one.

Our accounts have a few hundred quid a month paid in just for spends etc.

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