Leaving 4yo alone in pool changing room

[despondentatwork]

My husband left our 4yo alone in the changing rooms of a hotel swimming pool today. Albeit briefly: my son’s swimming g trunks were in the bag I had. So he came into the pool area, asked me where they were. Got them & went back. He says 15seconds. I think a bit longer & I told him after we left that I thought it had been an inappropriate thing to do. He disagrees-says I’m over-reacting. AIBU?

Its not something I'd be comfortable with OP. I trail my 3 kids to my daughters swimming lessons every week (unless someone else volunteers). My eldest is 5 and the furthest I'm comfortable with her going is into the ladies and even then I'm right there propping the outer door. I also ask how she's managing (usually in an effort to speed her up as I'm melting and struggling to carry my heavy 1yr old plus all the bags etc ). She's quite mature for her age compared to most of the children she plays with but she's still only 5 with no real understanding of things that might pose a danger.

You ADNBU

My friend manages a large leisure centre.

She has made me promise to never leave my kids alone there or to strip them naked in the shower.

They have perverts there at least weekly.

YANBU. As tiny as the chance is, a child can be snatched in seconds.

It's just not worth it.

I wouldn’t, mainly because pool changing rooms usually have wet slippy floors and I would worry about him slipping and cracking his head on the floor.

He could just as easily do that with me there of course but the difference would be I’d be right there straightaway to make sure he was ok, hadn’t knocked himself out etc.

I would have left him. I can't spend my life terrified of what could happen. It's a few seconds and yes there's a tiny risk, but we all face much bigger, somehow more acceptable, risks every day.

Is it ideal? No. Is it within the realms of reasonable decision making? Yes. Let him parent.

YANBU. To the people saying ''it's only 15 seconds'' - actually sit and count 15 seconds. It's plenty of time. James Bulger was taken in less than 15 seconds.

But what happened to James Bulger was incredibly, incredibly rare. Think of all the small children who are left unsupervised for very brief periods every day of the week, all over the country. The proportion of those who are abducted by a stranger is vanishingly small. Using cases like that as a basis for making safety decisions is, while very understandable, not at all logical.

I’d be more concerned about the risk of drowning, OP, because that can happen very quickly. But if his dad was between him and the pool then he was probably safe.

My mum did that when I was four. I got back in the pool, nearly drowned and was fished out by the lifeguard. I was booked in for lessons the following week! Definitely a no from me.

My five year old goes into her own cubicle to get changed. So I do take my eyes off her.

Depends on the child. My 4.5 yr old would have been fine for that long. But you say yours disobeys instructions so i don't think that's ok.

Would you leave your purse or your handbag alone in the changing room - even for 15 seconds?

I would think it's roughly a million times more likely that a purse would be stolen than that an unattended child would be harmed.

I would do this no problem. I also see people all the time leaving children of all ages, babies upwards, in the changing room on their own. I work in a pool, so I know that most people leave siblings whilst they collect swimming child. Yabu.

Never. I have gone on a range of sex offender training courses where convicted US offenders serving longer-than-life sentences (and who therefore had nothing to lose) were interviewed and talked extensively about their methods, targets, and ideal scenarios. After I had spent spent three weeks listening to them calmly describe hundreds of opportunistic contact offences ranging from “minor” to extreme, not for one second would I leave a child of pretty much any age unattended in an environment like that. YADNBU.

15 seconds? I think you are massively over reacting.

Nope outta my eyeline in somewhere that isn’t home, not happening! It’s not just the child snatching pervert aspect I'd be worried about my son could just as easily slip and fall or at 4years old be scared. It probably means I’m overprotective but I’d rather be that than take the risk.