To pay the teenagers for chores?

[AnachronisticCorpse]

DH thinks I am. I’ve said for a while now that I’d happily pay a token amount for things like washing the car or doing the lawn. Basically the shitty, time consuming jobs that I hate.

DH objects on two fronts. He says they shouldn’t have to do those things, and that if they do it shouldn’t be for cash. The only chores they currently have are sorting their own washing into baskets and putting it away, tidying their rooms (DS1 (15) is shit at this, DD (14) is amazing), and washing up on alternate nights.

It’s half term and both the boys are out so it’s just me and DD. She asked if she could do DS2’s room and if she did could she have a fiver to take into town tomorrow. I’ve had a cleaning day and ages been super helpful (of her own accord) and wants to do this as an extra.

I don’t see a problem, his room is a hole (he’s 6 and had a friend round yesterday) and she enjoys this stuff. It’s not her job and I’m happy to pay her to do it.

I probably won’t mention it to DH and he won’t ask so it’s a non issue really, but AIBU to do this? I’m a SAHM so it’s technically my job and I’m basically outsourcing to the 14yo. Is this ok, or actually child exploitation as DH hyperboled at me last time?

I paid DSD to wash up, I don’t see the problem with it if all parties are on board

I didn't get pocket money for doing my own chores (sorting my laundry, tidying my room, etc) but my mum would give me £10 if I did the whole family's ironing, for example.

Routine self-care chores - no. Putting your clothing in the basket, clearing up after your own mess, tidying away your own plates should just be expected (and pocket money could be fairly withheld for failing to do these things).

But I hire a cleaner to do the 'real' cleaning - mopping floors, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, and I would pay my (as yet non existent) kids to do this.

The 'chores' they do at the moment aren't really chores. Just basic tasks kids of that age should be doing. I wouldn't pay my kids for doing that sort of thing.

Just give them a certain weekly allowance as long as they do basics and aren't brats. £10-20 would be fair imo.

DH sounds like a dick. Kids happy to help out in exchange for a small reward. Not like it’s slave labour or you’ve tied them into a contract. Why ever would this be a bad thing?

My attitude is that if you are going to give them the money anyway, you might as well get them to work for it.

In life, we get paid for doing work. Not for doing our own cleaning granted (the "reward for that is clean home and no germs/sickness) but a work ethic is a work ethic. Whether the kids have a set number of chores and then after that get paid, or whether you pay them for everything, depends on the family I suppose. But being paid for chores imo is a good introduction to the world of work.

To clarify, the bits they currently do are unpaid. They do get pocket money but it’s not tied to those.

I KNOW I’m not UR really but I don’t actually get DH’s logic. It’s a win/win as far as I can see, particularly when you factor in I’d probably give DDmoney for town tomorrow regardless. Actually, he’s a bit anal about that too, if he gets wind of it he always says I should take it out of their PM account. Mind you, this is a man who doesnt understand why our weekly food shop is ever more than £60. (No financial abuse here, I have free rein, he’s just a fuss bucket).

Op I can't help but wonder if the roles were reversed and DH was the SAHD , if he would have the same opinion? Kids doing chores can never be a bad thing surely? Why shouldn't They contribute whether for money or not?

My 4 (that are old enough) earn their pocket money, we have a 4 week rota so they aren't on the same job all the time, a week on each job. They know what they have to do by checking the chart on the wall. Youngest is 11, eldest is 17. Takes about 10 minutes and if they haven't done them by the time I get in from work, the wifi goes off until they are all done.

Took a few years to get to this system but it works the best out of the many things we've tried.

Draconian maybe but at least they all know how to work a hoover/dishwasher/washing machine and can cook a meal.

I think he was brought up to just do chores if they needed doing, so he wants the kids not to have to do more than they should, but he also thinks it’s a piss take to ‘bribe’ them with cash.

I think he’s conflicted 😂 and yes, if it was him I think he’d happily outsource, he almost jumped for joy when we decided I’d stop working and look after the house.

Oh, DS1 was on washing up last night and he put the big curry pan straight back on the shelf after giving it a cursory wipe.

So he gets to wash up all over again tonight, the sod.

Yanbu. Other than standard pocket money any extra money has to be earned. A fiver to clean a 6 year olds bedroom is a bargain - I would bite their hands off.

I gave DS (15) a tenner for doing the cat’s litter tray. I would have given him the tenner anyway, but thought he could do something for it.

Does your DH think he's being "bribed" to go to work because he gets paid?!

I pay my 8 year old for doing jobs. He can use the washing machine/dryer and he pairs socks for 10p a pair. He's twigged on though and doesn't do the socks til he has about 50 pairs to get a fiver 😂