Hate working full time

[fia101]

With a passion.

That is all.

I was in a right state working until dc2 could have free nursery. Quit very soon after as it was affordable. Got some work paying about £250 a month, had a break, then had a year looking for part-time work - but even suggesting it as an option seemed to lead to recruiters not managing to get me interviews.
Eventually DP was made redundant and I got a full time job, and working full time with a house husband was a totally different experience!

Soon he got a well-paid offer too. We tried both working full time but I've just gone down to four days, partly for health issues and sorting child care stuff, but mainly just because I can. Ideally I'd get a promotion at some point but tbh if it's not happened in the last decade, I've stopped caring.

I'm desperate to work full time! The extra money would be handy and I hate the school run. But as I just about to afford not to I feel too guilty to up my hours as kids are used to me to doing four days. Am lucky to have the choice and feel incredibly guilty that I'd rather be at work!

I've worked full time with no breaks in employment (no kids) for 30 years.

I'm knackered.

No change in standard hours in permitted, no home working - not a surprise a lot of women with kids are leaving my place but firm are making excuses as to why they're leaving (and no reference to lack of flexibility made) so no reason for them to change current policy.

Funny how all the wives of the male bosses work part time....

Add on a long commute with long hours and no flexibility....

I'd move firms if I had choice but there isn't much here at all (and I don't if they'd be any different) so stuck.

Kids are lucky in that daddy is available a lot. My 4 year old asked me this morning "mummy why are you never home"

I work part time but I have to do a full time job during them 3 days. I'm constantly stressed and worry about work but I never want to go back to 5 days even though dc2 will be in full time education in 18 months time.

I think for me also it's my commuting time, it's nearly 1 1/2 each way across London.

Op, I hope you find a good balance soon x

fia101 - that sucks then!

Have a good moan and a rant. And then I guess focus on all the nice things you have that you wouldn't have if you didn't work.

And whilst another firm might be similar it might be worth trying to find one closer if at all possible in the longer term - or move closer to work is another option.

I just hate working full stop. I'm seriously envious of people who live their work, but I just don't get it. I'd rather be at home with my DH and my pets

I work with learning disabilities and at the minute I am sick of everyone I support moaning at me. Nothing is EVER their fault or responsibility. It's absolutely doing my head in atm.

Feel your pain, and also suggest working from home.
I went back three days a week after mat leave (using holiday) and whilst it was full on I was much happier, could spend some time in the week with DD, managed all my work and personal tasks and my sales went back to where they should be. Asked for flexible working (4 days as a compromise), was told no with no good reason why so told work to shove their job and got another one where I can work from home 1-2 days per week.
I will be travelling more but for me it was limiting the amount of time I was far away from DD, would rather be away 2 days and have to do a single overnighter than driving anything from 3-6 hours per day, 5 days per week .

I hate it too. I don't have children but still want more time at home.
I only work full time as I am saving for a deposit so I can buy another house to rent out.
I used to do an out of hours job and earned the same doing 4 days as doing 5. I miss it!!!!

It is not having the choice which is painful.
Even taking into childcare into account, if I stopped working we would be £900 short each month.

We are by no means living a life of luxury but can afford to send dc's to clubs, provide a tutor, buy new clothes (from supermarkets/H & M, shop in Tesco, eat out once a month, plan for trips out, contribute to a pension, life insurance, child trust fund.

But you see, here is my 'issue' with people saying they can't afford or don't have a choice to go pt or not work. You don't think you live a life of luxury yet every single one of those things you mention are a luxury. So it is a choice isn't it? It's fine to choose that you'd rather have those luxuries. No judgement. But to say you have no choice, is incorrect. A tutor is not a necessity. New clothes are not a necessity. Eating out is a complete luxury. etc etc.

It is a choice. You've chosen a nicer lifestyle material wise. No problem with that but remember you could always lose those extras and work pt or not at all.

i don't think people should be losing important extras like pensions, life insurance etc. to be honest.

Yes it's a choice but there are sensible choices and the other kind - working FT with small kids is a slog, but it does get easier by the time they're at older primary age, whereas being poor when you're elderly I can't imagine is a whole heap of fun.

Why would you be poor when you're elderly just because you choose not to work whilst the kids are little?

You can always get another job later on.

I'd personally be at home with my kids. No one ever puts 'had nice holidays' on their gravestone!!

So do 90% of people, including men, who have to work FT in order to afford to live.

because those are years that you're not putting money into your pension, and you don't benefit from compound interest on the gains you made by putting money into your pension earlier in your life and not closer to your retirement age.

It's much less efficient to contribute more later than more earlier to pensions:

From a 2006 DWP thing:

'Only 30 per cent of women retiring today are entitled to a full basic State Pension – only 24 per cent on the basis of their own contributions and only 17 per cent are actually in
receipt of a full basic State Pension based on these contributions. Further, only 38 per cent of today’s working-age women are currently contributing to a private pension. Childbirth,
marriage, divorce and widowhood, all have significant impacts on pension accrual for many women'.

Too often, people do not consider the impact to retirement age and retirement benefits side of those extra years out in prime working age.

Really star, we are all different, i completely understand why you choose to SAHP but it is not an easy or simple decision for most of us.

i'll admit, after over 7 years working ft with 2 kids i'm knackered, and i'd love to see my kids more. But I will be knackered when I'm 55-60 too, and the less I work now, the fewer choices I'll have down the road.

To say nothing of the age you pay your mortgage off too. Also, you can't always guarantee your health - you're more likely to get sick as you get older.

Paying for fab holidays that we all love is actually important to my family.. we have a blast! So actually that will go on my gravestone.
I work FT but from home which I think helps massively.
I like working FT - am taken seriously at work and can afford the bits and pieces the kids need without scrimping. And extra cash will be really handy for teenagers and university fees! I still see loads of the kids. But, as I said, wfh is key

If we’re talking about ‘what will go on your gravestone’ then frankly I’d say ‘lived a full and fulfilling life.’ And work life along with family, friends , hobbies is part of that

So, if you’re really not happy in your job, then do whatever you can to change things, retrain, get where you want to be. Generally, more senior roles tend to be more interesting and stimulating (and ironically sometimes more flexible too.) Work is too big a part of most people’s lives (unless you’re born into such extreme wealth you don’t need to earn a living) that it makes sense to aim for something that leaves you feeling good as well as paying the bills.

Personally i dropped to 3 days when my dc were tiny, and that was about me wanting more time at home so perhaps a little selfish in a way, though having said that ML was very short back then so I think full time would have been extremely tough with a 12 week old baby. Also there wasn’t even paternity leave, never mind shared parental leave so things were much more down to the mother.

I stepped back up to full time when youngest turned 4 and tbh it’s great- the opportunity to get promoted and also paying into my pension. Like others, I don’t want to be knackered out and still working when I’m 60 (though I’m planning to always work part time whatever age as I’ve seen too many people decline when they give up completely.)

Try to look at the positives of full time work. Frankly I believe anyone not clocking up enough years is nuts as things are only going to get worse with pensions
And if you really find your job a grind- do what you can to change

and your work pension will work out at £67 a month when you retire

That doesn't sound right?

I’m in the opposite position of considering working full time. I’m 0.5 FTE but it isn’t paying enough. I have a 10 yr old and 2 yr old and I’m scared I’m just going to be too tired increasing my hours. I’m a LP too so most of the mental and physical load falls on me.

button you need to think about your routine and the extra money and see what you could make easier on the home front to be able to cope with the hours, and see if you can negotiate any flexibility to do one day from home/finish early on a Friday with hours done earlier in the week etc.

I think it’s possible not to get completely worn down but it needs careful planning and thought to try and make things as easy as possible.

Me too! I am exhausted I feel all I do is eat sleep and work.

Italian yes I’m already considering what I can source out, ironing being the biggest consideration! We have tonnes.

I’m going to ask for one day home working and see what they say. But to be honest I think the pros outweigh the cons. I’ll have more money to not have to worry about the bills. That in itself is a massive weight off my shoulders. Plus the way I see it, it’s inevitable, one day I’ll have to work FT when the DC are older and may have missed some real good opportunities whilst working PT.

Thank you for the encouragement though. It’s clarified things a little.

I know a few people who have swapped a long commute to work at home. It provides you with time to do things or it brings your work into the home. It can also be isolating, depending on the work you do. I swapped a normal job with a long commute, to work shifts with a short commute. I love my off shift days. How do people who work part time expect to find their retirement ???

I run my own business, only work 4 days a week and don't start 'til 1pm (not a morning person). Also a third of my work is done from home. I earn well (not a brag, just a reality). It can be done!

A lot of people feel they "can't afford to work part-time" but I think we'd be surprised at how we'd adapt (unless living in London, of course!). I have a friend who has always worked part-time for her own sanity. She is single so no childcare costs but it still means all household costs like rent and bills fall on her shoulders. She's just taken a year's sabbatical to travel around Asia so was apparently able to save too.