How do you handle it when your children just won't make the grades for the career they want?

[Lawdoc]

Dd1 is going to just about scrape hopefully level 4s so a low C due to learning needs. Quite possibly more 3s.
All the careers she has mentioned are unreachable at uni level for her and would require high score a levels. (think Doctor/surgeon/teaching etc)

How do you deal with it?
I've tried suggesting other roles in the same sort of field which are more attainable but she's not interested.
She believes she can do it.
I don't want to smash her dreams or bash her self esteem but at the same time when she tries to apply for college she is going to get rejected by them.

Help!

[MincemeatTart]

You are right to redirect her and give her realistic expectations. If she’s getting level 4s then she isn’t going to make it into medicine,
Can you get her work experience in other settings that might appeal? I’d also ask the school about careers advice and see whether she could speak with an advisor.

[user1471426142]

Here are the 2018 requirements for UK medical schools. You’ll see that many have strict gcse requirements even if they accept access to medicine courses. There are plenty of jobs that are still in reach within healthcare but she does need to be realistic about medicine with her predicted grades.

www.medschools.ac.uk/media/2032/msc-entry-requirements-for-uk-medical-schools.pdf

[FluffyWuffy100]

I believe the majority of people have it in them to be whatever they want. They just have to learn how to learn and find the different techniques necessary to pass the relevant exams well

No they don’t.

A dyspraxia adult who also has a low IQ can never, and should never be a brain surgeon... no matter how much they want it.

[MyOtherProfile]

Some people don't have the ability to remember or retain info as necessary for exams. Some just aren't bright enoufh to do really well in a subject no matter what they do. Have you ever tried teaching maths concepts to a child who is really struggling?

And apart from that, supposing you could hot house someone enough to get them through necessary qualifications they will probably then need to maintain that level of hot housing in their chosen career. What kind of life does that lead to?

[lougle]

"No they don’t.

A dyspraxia adult who also has a low IQ can never, and should never be a brain surgeon... no matter how much they want it."

I presume you mean because of the fine motor control needed, and the intelligence needed. But IQ can be hard to measure from outward performance. Eminent American neurosurgeon Fred Epstein (now deceased) was so profoundly dyslexic that he was considered an 'idiot' (the term used at the time) and when he fought his way to medical school, he had to get special permission to tape record his assignments rather than writing them. He went on to do daring paediatric neurosurgery that many other neurosurgeons refused to attempt, saving many lives, before dying of melanoma in 2006.

[Headofthehive55]

I think it's really really important to manage her expectations.
I wish I'd had that done. I missed my uni grades and ended up doing something else. I didn't enjoy it.

I've never settled and have never had that moment when you think wow! Ive done it. It's always been meh.
Finance can be an issue when retraining, so it's not that easy. But I would love, to be proud of my achievements and feel I got my dream.
Help her get an achievable dream.

[lilabet2]

Encourage her to think about related careers (healthcare assistant/nursing, teaching assistant etc.). If she is determined to pursue one of the careers she's discussed then point out which grades she will need at GCSE and A level and discuss alternative routes to each career.

[ReturnfromtheStars]

What are her learning needs OP? There are so many learning styles, she might might get better results by learning in her optimal syle. You can have a look at this link: learning styles


Passion is so important, once she gets through her training, she might become one of the best doctors out there.

Even if you can't afford a tutor, there are so many ways to help. You can look up GCSE videos on youtube or look into IntoUniversity.

It is great that she does not listen and follows her dreams, I wish her the best. As others said, is she fails, she can still try other routes, however if she is not an anxious person, that does not matter right now; right now she just has to study / fight, in her best style.

[BeHappyMummy]

Getting high grades is about technique.

Could you show her some tips to memorise the content?

[BeHappyMummy]

When she studies is her mind clear? Ask her.

I struggled in school until someone taught me to meditate to clear my mind to concentrate.

[Mistigri]

Based on the variety of careers mentioned I would guess that she does not have a particular vocation. This means that her plans are likely to change over the next two years. DD also wanted to be a doctor two years ago - she is not in fact applying for medicine at all ;)

I think you have to tread a line between not encouraging something totally unrealistic but not discouraging her. If she is anything like my DD she will listen to other adults ahead of her parents - presumably she will get some careers advice at school?