To disagree with friend leaving 2 under 4 in bath ...

[SofieMonde]

while she is downstairs. She thinks it's ok "because I can hear them"

I would never do that. Water is too dangerous.

Horrific, I don't leave my 9 year old for more than a few minutes as I'm nervous he'd slip and bang his head/face on the taps!

I am pretty laissez faire, but YANBU.

I might pop in another room upstairs to fetch towels or put some stuff away, but never longer than a minute or two. Are either of them in bath supports? Even then, what she's doing is wrong and dangerous. Let's hope she never ever finds that out the hard way.

Bloody hell, I don't leave our 8 year old for much longer than 5 mins - he's clumsy and just, ugh, no the thought frightens me.

Does she recognise the emotional detachment?

I'm the same Butt, my 9yo is very clumsy!

Mine are 5 and 8. I find something to do in the same fooor or we just listen to music together. I might whizz downstairs and put the oven on but I don't leave them more than a couple of minutes even at that age. When they were weeny I sat in the doorway.

Yanbu

That's very poor supervision have there been accidents?

no accidents thankfully but the kids love playing the "stand up sit down stand up...." game
no supports just a plastic mat with suction pads

she doesn't see the emotional detachment side at all and I think this is why the eldest has some minor behavioral issues and when she wants mum mum pushes her away or is too tired or busy. it is sad she doesn't enjoy them or spending time with them

My dd is four and ds is 1

I will put them in the bath together and stay for about ten mins. I then get ds out and sort him out tell dd ill be back in five.

Go back in 5 and wash her hair and get her out

Sometimes she wants to stay longer so ill leave her another 5

I would never leave ds with her though

I am guessing those of you supervising 9 year olds only have 1 or 2 dc!

This friend is going to live abroad soon and I have contacted the SS in that country saying I am worried for the kids and they say it is very much a safeguarding issue that concerns them and that I should forward her details to them so they can look into the situtaion.

Should I so I can know the kids will be safe or should I let her start her new life?? What would you do?

I would do what they asked.

If something haplened you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself.

Give the agency her details. Those kids are going to grow up twisted with parenting like that.

Please tell her not to do this. Not an urban myth but an actual fact - a boy in my class who was 5 drowned in a shallow bath at home with his 6 year old brother in the bath with him and his 8 year old sister in the bathroom. An actual person who I and my family knew well.

God forbid the same would happen to your friend but she must watch them. Use the time to clean the bathroom or fold and sort towels, or read to the boys or play counting/other games, make bubble beards, etc.

A couple of years ago a toddler drowned in the bath near here, after being left alone. It only takes literally a minute for a child to slip, bang its head, go under the water and drown. All in silence.

Meant to add, she can't afford to assume that one child will alert her to the other being in trouble. Children that young may not understand that they need help.

Also risk of scalding if a tap can be turned on.

The situations described by OP are truly dangerous.

My friend is a nanny and left two kids in the bath aged 5 and 3 went to get a towel and the 5 yo had turned the hot tap on and got scalded... she lost her job with that family... it was very lucky that the child wasnt in the hot water for too long.