Wwyd? Someone faking a pregnancy

[Steeley113]

So someone I work with has been saying they’re pregnant (in my line of work this means your placed straight on light duties). There was some confusion initially about dating and her saying she had a miscarriage then didn’t that was all a bit suspicious but no one said anything. She then stated last week she went for her 12 week scan and there was no baby to be found and she was to come back the next day for another scan. I messaged her on Facebook following the scan to ask how it went and she said great and sent me a picture of the ‘scan’. The scan had been pushed up to the top but had a date on of 2015. She has other children and I was a bit suspicious so I checked her previous Facebook photos and found it was the exact scan of her previous child.

I’m actually higher up then her in rank in our job and as she’s still asking for time off for appts and amended duties, I feel as though I should go to the manager with this but at the same time, it’s really non of my business. It will all come out eventually regardless but I see my other colleagues picking up the slack and feel quite bad that it’s all potentially made up? Would you go to the manager or just leave it? This girl has quite a rep for lying about things...

There was no explanation. She never came back. I think she was referred to the NMC.

That seems sick unless she has issues

Tell your Manager to ask for the Mat B1 when she reaches 20+ weeks if this is still going on.

Didn't her boss ask for proof eg hospital letter confirming her pregnancy.

Not necessarily, mine didn't at all. I only provided anything when I had to give in my MATB1 certificate and by then I was showing anyway.

mayhew

Didn't anyone realise she had no bump?!

Pretty sure a family member of mine faked a pregnancy and subsequent mc. Another family member worked with them and it all came out around the time they had to produce the MATB1. Then they had a mc apparently. They have form for being a compulsive liar. Very sad thing to do though if it was true. I didn't say anything.

So, personally I'd leave it a while and see what happens re MATB1.

I'm 26 weeks currently and very obviously pg. I've had LOADS of time off sick, referral to occupational health, appointments etc, and not once has my employer (very large!) asked for "proof". Only just submitting my MATB1 now.

Poffley, she was plump and plausible. I'm a midwife.

if shes having a baby through asurrogate she wouldnt be asking to go on light duties though would she

I’m not sure if you think she is lying about the whole pg or lying that she is still pg when she has had a MMC.

I would leave it for now - certainly until you are sure. I know someone who faked an entire pregnancy even up to the stillborn baby ending. Even though she was outed by a very distressed family member, she continues to carry on with the story, often bringing it up on social media and revelling in the sympathetic comments she gets. It is actually very sad - she is clearly mentally ill.

My workplace has started to ask for proof of all appointments (not specifically maternity ones). Not sure what brought it on but it applies to everyone and all appointments taken within working hours.

Sounds very suspicious but I think I would stay out of it. If you're wrong you will look really bad and if she is lying the truth will eventually come out in the end.

She needs help; there's something very fucked up about faking a pregnancy. I would mention it to your manager.

TBH leave it, unless you are her boss. There could be something else going on that you don't know about (surrogacy? Adoption?), and the fallout could be nasty.

I wouldn’t say anything either. If you’re wrong, you’ll look like the crazy one! It will come out in the end if she’s lying.

I would say something. You can approach your manager and say what you said here, that you have found inconsistencies in what is being said. Then let them deal with it, it could be her being a bad taste cf, but she could have some mental health issues or she could be pregnant, but it doesn’t sound like she can be...ultra sound couldn’t find the baby?!, where had it gone? Popped to the shops? Doesn’t sound likely does it.

What a shame, the poor woman is to be pitied.
I'd just leave her to it and mind my own business tbh.
I think you have to be pretty ill to make up stories like this, maybe there's more to it. She might be making it up because she doesn't want to say what's really wrong with her.

There are so many possibilities. As someone above has said, could she be trying to cover up sick leave/appointments for something else? Some workplaces count sick days and give warnings/take action including redundancy when a certain amount is taken but pregnancy related sick leave/time off is handled differently. Is she potentially unwell with something else & is worried about facing disciplinary action if she takes time off for it so is using pregnancy as a cover up? Could you potentially speak to her and raise your concerns to see if she needs support? Could you say something like oh I think you've sent the wrong scan as the date on that is a few years ago & see what she says? Could she have sent an old scan accidentally if she keeps them all saved in a computer folder? I was pg at the same time as my friend & had both our scan photos on my phone as we sent them to each other even very early scans so had quite a few photos. When someone asked me to send them later scan photos, I clicked on my friends photo & only when I checked the name before sending did I realise it wasn't mine.

I’m pretty sure there’s no adoption/surrogacy. Her relationship isn’t very stable and when she first said she was pregnant she told me that he wasn’t happy at all about it (will be her 3rd child and she’ll have 3 aged 5 and under). There are a lot of inconsistencies in her stories, she apparently was showing a scan photo to other staff members a few weeks ago but in her story to me about no baby on the scan she said they were querying a phantom pregnancy. I’m going to just say to the manager I think we need to be asking for proof of pregnancy as the light duties are really putting pressure on existing staff.

@Steeley113 I've wondered this before- proof not being requested until the MatB. Thinking about it though, I don't know if it would be legal. It would mean an employer was asking to see someone's medical notes or scans as there isn't really any other way to prove it. Certainly in my area appointment letters aren't used, the appointments are written onto the front of the medical notes each lady carries with her at each appointment to help ladies keep track as there can often be so many.

It depends what type of job you're in.
If it's blue line I'd report.

I'm not sure a manager would be confident in knowing how to deal with such a sensitive issue though.

Second Failing - she’s not exactly holding up the ‘honesty and integrity thing’ if so. Plus having people on light duties unnecessarily can be dangerous to others. Mention your concerns then it’s up to the manager to investigate, not you.

We’re in health care and work with very vulnerable people, another reason why I’m so torn. I know she’s on shift today but I’m not in until Thursday... I may just sneakily pry into if she’s still requesting light duties later before I make my decision!

@RingARingOfRosies we have the notes system too here, but if she’s claiming to have had a 12 week scan then she’d have a booklet as proof? Me and all the other pregnant ladies at work (we’re having a bit of a baby boom) all have them in our lockers/handbags...

OP you've made the news