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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I ask an annoying/vain question?

30 replies

photoshopwhiz · 11/02/2018 23:45

I have gained a bit of weight recently and feel like I look out of proportion and downright ugly!

Can I ask your honest opinion if I PM a recent photo?! Was taken on the weekend and I am smiling but feel dumpy and unattractive :(

OP posts:
Original poster
photoshopwhiz · 11/02/2018 23:45

I feel like I have an odd face that doesn’t quite work! Honest opinions please :) Be brutal if you have to!

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 11/02/2018 23:47

okay Hmm

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/02/2018 23:47

I don't think you need brutality. You need support. Your confidence seems lower than a snakes belly.

Deshasafraisy · 11/02/2018 23:48

Photos can be unflattering and are not usually a reflection on how you actually appear to others.

Original poster
photoshopwhiz · 11/02/2018 23:49

Thanks! It’s quite low so perhaps brutal wrong word - honest feedback perhaps? I do genuinely mean it. Just want points to work with really - fresh out of a relationship and want to work on myself

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 11/02/2018 23:49

I bet you're not as bad as you think you are.

I'm up for another 20 minutes or so if you want to PM me.

ChasedByBees · 11/02/2018 23:49

I don’t think you should pm the photo to anyone. Even if they’re brutal you don’t know that they’re being honest, they may just want to kick someone when they’re down. I’m sure you look fine and as aww said, work on your confidence.

ChasedByBees · 11/02/2018 23:50

Certainly don’t do this fresh out of a relationship, that’s never a good time! Many a haircut has been regretted for this exact reason.

Cracker09jacker · 11/02/2018 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sixteenapples · 11/02/2018 23:52

But what would it achieve OP? Lose weight for yourself and your health not because someone thinks you look fat in a photo. If they don't think you look fat will you believe them? And if they think you do have an "ugly" face - then what?? Plastic surgery? And a face is lovely if it is one you love.

You are who you are. Be the best you can be. But be happy in your skin. I suspect this exercise will be a waste of time or worse.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/02/2018 23:52

If I posted a picture of myself and you had to swear on oath. You'd say I was positively repulsive. In fact youd probably throw up. I'm not ugly by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just the most unphonetic person ever to grace the planet, so. You don't always get a true likeness on pictures.

WellAlwaysHaveParis · 11/02/2018 23:52

Just a couple of a questions:

Why do you want to work on yourself?

And what’s the link between being fresh out of a relationship and wanting to work on yourself? Do you mean that you put a lot of energy into focusing on your partner’s needs during the relationship so now you want to focus more on your own needs?

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 11/02/2018 23:55

I doubt anyone you pm will say you look awful op. If you've put on weight it's only natural to feel uneasy but try and focus on your positives. I'm a size 16 and if a photo is taken at the wrong angle I cringe but I don't sell on it.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 11/02/2018 23:55

Dwell on it

Sparklesocks · 12/02/2018 00:09

You’ll never have a healthy relationship with your body and your self image if you rely so heavily on validation from complete strangers. Why put yourself through this?

maybaby17 · 12/02/2018 00:10

Go for it

RoseWhiteTips · 12/02/2018 00:12

Where is the pic?

AlpacaLypse · 12/02/2018 00:14

Don't do it OP. You'll regret it in the morning.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 12/02/2018 00:15

She's worried about nothing - she's gorgeous!

SmurfOrTerf · 12/02/2018 00:25

KeepServing - you're right - she's bloody gorgeous

hungryhippo90 · 12/02/2018 00:34

OP, why are you doing this?

What does it really matter? Everyone's perspectives are different.

I was told I was very pretty often, before I put weight on. Let me just tell you, my lips aren't symmetrical, my nose looks like it's made out of play dough and put on my face so on the piss a blindfolded 4 year old mightve placed it. And I've recently realised I've got a fucked up lower jaw so it sits a good 5mm back from the top.

Dont base too much on everyone else's opinions... What would you do if you were genuinely ugly? Which I'm sure you're not, but surgery? Would it be worth the pain and the cost and time?

I've kind of faced up to the fact that aslong as I smell clean, look clean and I've brushed my teeth/hair everyone can keep their opinions to themselves as it'll change nothing at all. Except for my weight, because that does need addressjng- but it's still no other fuckers business.

Learn to love you for you Lady!

Gemini69 · 12/02/2018 13:25

Did I miss the photo Hmm

Original poster
photoshopwhiz · 12/02/2018 18:57

Thanks all for the comments! Yes I did send round a photo to a few people.

OP posts:
ManagedTeaCups · 12/02/2018 19:00

Can’t see a picture on your page? So subjective I’m sure youre fine probably feeling self conscious due to weight gain- photos are deceiving some of my friends are stunning but look quite average sometimes in their pictures - angles etc. I don’t like pictures of myself too easy to analyse and pick out all your flaws.

Fosterdog123 · 12/02/2018 19:01

Send it to me. I'll be honest but tactful!!

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